What's Love Got to Do With It?
February 13, 2009 Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and depending on your relationship status and tolerance of all things stuffed and cutesy, you're either dreading it or looking forward to some sweet gift-swapping with your SO.
Today's post is more for the former group of you, partly because it's Friday the 13th, and partly because there's nothing like depressing and/or angry offerings from jilted malcontents to make you feel better about opting out of the whole chocolate-covered love fest anyway.
Besides, who can resist a sardonic cookie?
Or how's this for an expression of love: a heart cake chopped in two?
It's almost poetic, really. That, or the baker on duty just got dumped.
I think this is supposed to be a heart. A sad, bruised, limping little heart. Po' widdle ting.
Uh, this is a cake celebrating love, right? I only ask because I'm getting a more creeped-out vibe than the warm fuzzies. "Oh, these purple blobbies? Those are for eating your soul."
Be yours? Why, you had me at the lumpy Pepto-pink frosting, Sugalumps. Aw yeeeah.
This cracked me up. I guess those emo kids working at the mall are good for something, after all.
(Yes, I'm kidding. You just have to figure out about which part.)
Collette, Lauren C., Beth F., Jessica S., Paula L., & Julie D., here's hoping someone checks "yes" on your Valentine cookies.
Reader Comments (117)
The Check Yes or No cookie is the most amusing cookie cake I've ever seen!
Those are the saddest little cakes I've ever seen - especially the 'bruised heart.'
YIKES! Cake #5 reminds me of http://www.dlisted.com/node/30492" REL="nofollow">this...
DO NOT VIEW IF EATING or IN THE COMPANY OF CHILDREN.
I love the creepy cake! altough it resembles a butt much more than an heart!
That last one? Lose-lose situation there. Giving and/or receiving, you suck.
These are just HORRIBLE! I've yet to find such monstrosities here in Toronto. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough.
#4 looks like a face on somebody's butt-cheeks!
The "Do You Love Me...NO" Cookie is cute.
That "check yes or no" cookie is the best! I love it.
OMG! I thought the 'real' heart one said it was 'almond puppy' flavor! LOL!
I want an evil cookie.
With sprinkles.
Six years ago, my dad had a heart transplant.
I'm pretty sure that his sickly, worn out heart didnt even look as bad as the heart cake in pic #3!
Hallie
Are you sure that one cake isn't a butt with eyes? That's just... just...
The brown one with the purple frosting bits looks like two "Mr. Potato Heads" kissing...
That, or a butt.
OMG, that 4th one looks like someone's butt with a face painted on it. WHAT was the baker thinking??
Oh.My.Gosh.
I was thinking the purple blobbies cake looked more like a smiling butt than a heart!
Oh god, the emo kids! That's the funniest thing I've ready in a long time. I would buy that cookie cake if I saw it.
I think the bruised heart is selling for £49, that's a lot for heart break.
Also - the cookie question is awesome.
Do I love that last cookie cake?
[x] yes
[ ] no
I'm going to be sad to see these heart cake features go after V-day.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
OMG that last one is amazing! Like being rejected by your crush, only in cookie form instead of passed-note form. Perfect.
Oh my goodness! The one with purple blobbies looks more like a bum than a heart! And to leave it unfrosted just adds to the effect!
The third one looks like a snail.
can't help but think that the cake with the purple blobs look more like butt cheeks than a heart. Which makes the purple blobs all the more frightening. eugh.
That fourth one is not a heart, No, that is a distinctly different part of the anatomy, though one also associated with kissing.
okay the purple one looks like a darn snail. I LOVE the No cookie ROFL!
That brown cake looks like a butt to me. "Happy Valentine's Day? Yeah, you can kiss my ass!"
Ok, that smiling thing with the purple blobs looks much more like Bob the Happy Arse than a heart, and the pink thing below it looks like a diagrammatic cakey representation of a uterus with an implanting zygote. Way wrong.
that brown soul-eating cake looks like someone drew eyes and a mouth on a pair of buttocks.
The joke is that the emo kids are *working* at the mall instead of slinking around aimlessly? :P
I lurves Valentine's Day, but I don't lurve the backache I have, and the fact that I'm working when I would so much rather be playing hooky when it's nice out. sigh. lol
These are awesome! I think that fourth one looks like someone drew a face on someone's bare butt?? That's what first came to mind, anyway.
Those are great! I love the sardonic cookie! What a great face - lol. Happy Valentines!
SUGARLUMPS!!!!
Flight of the Conchords forever.
~Laura~
#4 is a mix between an apple and a puffer fish.
Nothing says "happy valentine's" like a big brown butt cake with purple boils. I hope my husband gets me that instead of roses!
I can't believe they were charging more than $8 for that sad little heart!
Ouch! If you want to insult your beloved twice, leave the pricetag on the half-a-heart cake. "Sorry honey, a whole heart was $2.98!"
I am so relieved I am not the only one who thought it was a butt cake instead of a heart. I feel less deviant now.
Does the one with "purple blobbies" look more like butt cheeks than a heart to anyone else?
The 4th cake down (with purple blobs) kinda looks like a bum. I love the split heart cakes.
Ok, the one with the purple blobs- I can't decide if the intent is one amazingly strange face with puckered lips or two strange looking faces kissing. Either way- weird.
And the cookie cake is so mean, yet so funny! And I know a couple of girls that my son should have sent it to, because maybe then they would have gotten the message.
I'm voting with the butt cheeks comments for cake #4. Maybe it's a dual purpose cake pan.
Hahahahaha! I was going to say the two before the emo cookie looked like butts, but you've all got it well covered... ;)
Yeesh! Cake #4 looks like somebody drew a pair of eyes over their butt (perhaps to do the infamous Ace Ventura impression?) and I'm afraid that CAke #5 reminds me too much of Goatse to be considered edible.
the cookies are cute
I want that cookie cake! I have the perfect person to give it to.
I think the evil face cookie is supposed to be polka dots... possessed polka dots!
If I said Goatsey about number 5 would anybody understand (or want to admit it)?
I love the little sad purple heart/snail. It is strangely adorable.
Ooh Ooh! Maybe the butt cake is actually two leftover Superbowl football cakes fused into one brown kinda-heart?
Or maybe I should just stop trying to find rational explanations for the wreckinesss....
(but seriously, WHO would think that up without some sort of horrible limitation like turning footballs into a V-day cake?)
I WANT those cookies. Also I think the 4th one down looks like someoned backside not their heart.
I love the sardonic heart-shaped cookie! And the check yes or no is funny, but that bruised heart thing? Looks more like a lamb chop on steroids to me.
~Amy B.