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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Oct062008

Cake Wrecks the Game Show?

Some cakes are like those ink blot tests you saw in grade school: baffling blobs of color open to interpretation. Well, not exactly; cakes are usually supposed to look like something in particular. Sometimes they taste better, too.

Anyway, since I've gotten a few of these "ink blot" type cakes submitted, I thought it'd be fun to add a little suspense to your daily dose of Wreckage. That's right, boys and girls, now it's time to play...

"Guess That Wreck!"

Everyone ready? Ok, clear your mind of all thoughts. Now, scroll down and tell me what you see:

"What's that? Ah, you see the moon cooking on the grill in a paper bag? [scribbling on notepad] Interesting, veeery interesting... [looking over glasses] And tell me, how IS your relationship with your mother?"

Check back tomorrow for the "answer": I'll post a picture of what the cake was supposed to look like. In the mean time, let's see who can come up with the most outrageous explanation. I may even post the top 3 guesses here, so bring on the funny, folks; fame and fortune await!*

Thanks to Dana W. for inspiring a brand new category! Oh, and Dana? Don't go giving away the answer just yet, k?

*By "fame" I mean a shout-out to your posting name, and "fortune" is used more in the "destiny" sense of the word than the "wealth or riches" sense. So in other words, no, you won't be getting any money*. Unless someone sends it to you, of course. But that someone would not be me. So probably not.

* Or begetting any money, either; 'cuz that'd just be weird. And wrong. But mostly weird.

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Reader Comments (575)

It is clearly a French-bohemian tank. Without any weaponry, of course, just the big tracks and a tie-dyed bow.

or, maybe its a very flamboyant wallpaper scourer. You, know those handheld dome things with pokey little wheels that you roll around to make the wallpaper stripping easier.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbre vander ark

did anyone else notice the large amounts of RED inside of the helmets? I assume the the white with the numbers on it are jerseys, but why oh why use RED icing to attach the helmets? so basically they were all decapitad and the cleanup crew just set the helmets back on their shoulders?

i can't help the horrible visions . . what else can one see in this cake?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdiddlesgirl

A mouth with terrible gingivitis, plaque build up, and something stuck in their teeth. And an interesting lipstick job (which I realized later were football players.... so maybe it's the mouth of a giant?)

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

A contemporary, football memorial to the French Revolution: helmeted heads neatly placed around the base of the city in flames.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNancyH

It's clearly depicting the annual campout of the Jr. Cockroaches football team campout gathered 'round the half-burned log of the campfire and singing Kumbaya while gazing at a semi-popped container of imported "le JiffyPop". Non?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMiss T

Yeah, I immediately thought Fler-de-Lis, footballs, Saints, New Orleans - Superdome? Maybe a cake for the reunion of all the people who endured days of unspeakable horror there three years ago?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterD.B. Echo

It's a boy scout bed (see the fleur de lys) with a whole lot of bed bugs crawling out from underneath

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSue from Auckland

Now, if I didn't know that was the Superdome, I wouldn't be much of a NOLA Blogger, would I?

Sara
http://newsfromnola.blogspot.com/

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSara

I believe that this is a cake depicting the surgical repair of a football player's calf muscle. Not many doctors use fleur de lis in surgery, but hey, you never know.

DD

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWomen on the Verge

I think it's a campfire with the Boy Scout logo on it.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBethE

it looks like a broken camp fire

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

People...you all are soooo wrong. The cake actually has a message to it. Try and follow me people...this will be very tricky.
So, the grey area is a tank/tube top stetched to its limit. The brown belt is obviously cinched a wee bit too tight. And those lovely colorful flesh toned masses would be sexy rolls of abdominal excess in all its glory (translation...fat rolls, baby)! The artist even took the time to add stretch marks! Why didn't I think of that! Those "helmets" are either a "studded" belt, or someone has a body piercing addiction. The moral of the story...(drum roll please)...ladies, this is why you never get a tatoo on your stomach. Sure it's cute when you're a size 5, but at what point you become a freak show?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

I'm thinking antique furniture... Looks like a bed to me. And those brown round things are the bedposts... or at least they would be, if there weren't so many of them. What are they, some kind of weird casters or something? Antique beds don't have casters! Must be "antique style" furniture. With a really big Fleur de Lis on it. I guess it's French "antique style" furniture!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterandie

Does everyone remember the 70's children's show " The Letter People". It looks like Mr. Tall Teeth (the letter T) met his early demise at the hands of a French serial killer who leaves his mark a la "Silence of the Lambs" (the ole' moth in the mouth) on his victims in the form of a Fleur de Lis. Gil Grissom from CSI will be able to estimate the time of death by the tiny football player larvae that have started to grow near the body. :)

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJadedAida

Not to be too disgusting, but...

Well, I guess it IS disgusting...

Could it be a really bad hemorrhoid? At the worst of all possible angles?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Looks like my grandparents gas fire from the 1970's... but why would you make a cake of that??

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBunsen

Ok, it's a piece of salmon sashimi flanked by a grilled steak and raw brain. The black thing on top is a fly. Yum!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentergatofish

that looks like a dissected view of Harry Potter's book of Magical Monsters, it's just creepy.......LOL

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

I declare that is the best example of the god Alphonse the blazingly indolent. Shown of course In his classical form, a flaming couch. Riding his glorious chariot; ferried by his mythological team of mighty beetles

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

I see a monster centipede carrying the coffin of an important Visigoth barbarian-king.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ugh... I know it should look like a stadium... but it looks like yellowtail sushi... grilled tempeh sushi... or the world's ugliest couch/ottoman combo.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatya

When the New Orleans Saints go marching in.....to hell fire?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I'm guessing it has something to do with the New Orleans Saint's football team, only bc looking VERY closely at the cake can I tell that those little things around the cake are football helmets, I think...

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLancastermom

I thought it was a BBQ grill. o.o

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMad Izatie

It must be a McRib Sandwich that someone has photographed for their lawsuit against McDonalds. I'd sue, too, if I got a sandwich with a giant moldy gray pickle and a large iron fleur-de-lis in it!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKate

While I think it is meant to be the Saint's stadium with a bunch of little football helmets at the bottom, what it actually looks like is a shrimp sushi next to a flank steak sitting on a traditional campfire (the helmets are the ends of the kindling and logs) next to which there is half a marble serving dish. I believe this cake symbolizes the désir de cuisiner à la japonaise, from the first moment mankind realized that soaking a tough piece of meat in delicious maranade and grilling it would yield a tender-seeming delight, to the realization that one didn't have to cook at all to tempt the palate. Indeed, this cake anticipates a future of empty platters, where food itself is not longer necessary to sate one's désir. And from whence will this culinary future spring? The symbols painted on the sushi suggest that it will arise from the fusion of French and Japonese techniques into pure, gastronomic nothingness.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSydney

I can't breathe. I am sitting here reading the comments and laughing so hard I've used about 10 tissues to wipe my eyes. My son is laughing without even knowing why because of my hysterical, now in tears, I can't catch my breath laughter. The descriptions are wonderful - I really needed to laugh like this tonight.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhollyo

You are all soooo wrong!

It's grandma's handbag with her pet tarantula inside!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVeggie Gnome

This is very clearly the Mothership in Close Encounters of the Third Kind, with the lead Alien beckoning the new travelers on board.

I just can't figure out what the football helmets are for.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Okay- can I vote for the answer I like best? My fav is delilah- "It's a giant piece of French tuna sushi roasting on a tombstone held by the Football team of the Damned..." She gets my vote. Way to go Delilah!
Carrie B.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I see a sofa with a fleur de lis and a coffee table surrounded by football helmets? o_O

P.S. This post was the best idea EVER.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpericulum

I think it looks like the Superdome but that's too obvious. I'm going for family crest of some poor soul who did the order over the phone.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKia

It looks like raw salmon fillets sitting on numbered bugs.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKP

I think it's a football stadium...the gray brownish stuff leaking out of the bottom of the orange thing is the parking lot. That's my guess.

I hope it tasted good. Heck, if it is a football stadium then I'm guessing it was also served at a football party and maybe people were drunk enough that it passed muster. Maybe the cake decorator themselves was drunk!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

It looks kinda like that bowling pin resetter that comes down during a strike, and the Crown lights up if all the pins are down.

-RedBackFur

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i saw a grill w/ a steak, and fish/ chicken. there is no way that has anything to do w/ the Saints

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

I first thought it was some sort of demonic piano until I saw the helmets. Yeah, Superdome.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJubilee

Something to do with football, a couch, and maybe some hideous looking meat?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Um, okay, I think those are little helmets and I think there is a Saints logo on there, but I just can't figure the rest out.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn :)

I think this is the super dome or a couch that is exploding

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrazie Weezle

Now, the Fleur de Lis is the symbol for the Kappa Kappa Gamma Sorority, so I'm going to assume that they endorsed this.

Nearly as we can tell, aliens tried to kill a football team by dropping a big rock, giant salmon sashimi, and a big steak on them.

I'll bet there are little bloody smears underneath the 'cake' too.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGyrfalconne

it's am opened chest
from a game i don't recognize

i'd be embarrassed if i had decorated that cake.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjennelizabeth

It looks like different pieces of nigiri (plain sushi on a tiny bed of rice). The top piece looks like salmon nigiri, and I can't tell what the other two would be...but the bottom one looks spoiled. :)

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

I figured out what it was, but not before I sat for a full 10 seconds thinking that pink part was a Shrimp's back... on a rock... surrounded by football helmets. Oh yeah, with a Fleur Di Lis stamped on it. That's waaaaaay more tangible than a football stadium.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeike

It looks like a giant boulder spewing magma with tiny beheaded football players trapped under a steak. And my relationship with my mother is just fine...just fine...

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKelli Nicole

It's a BBQ steak sandwich, but someone dropped it and the steak fell out. The little round things around the sides are cockroaches come to eat the fallen food.

The symbol in the middle is the pointer from the fireplace poker that someone used in an attempt to recover the sandwich.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermsfrugal

Well, I see the fleur de lis, so I'm going to guess it's a giant french salmon grilling on a huge board of some sort, and there are laser pointers surrounding it. Okay. I don't know.

A ship???

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKayla W

It's the Superdome from Kansas! Sorry, little munchkin football players. On the bright side, Dorothy now has a closet full of of ruby cleats.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarahW

A new legislation went into effect today that made steroid use punishable by death. The convicted athletes, shown above, are neatly arranged under an enormous deformed badger in a hula skirt, which is slowly lowered upon them until the football players are crushed to death. Speaking about his own decorative touch, chief executioner Eric Wassenberger says, "I covered it in wrapping paper so that the last thing these men saw would be something pretty. I thought they deserved that much."
"That," he adds, "and I needed a way to camouflage the blood."

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHanna C.

It's a salmon on the grill with olives all around, but it comes from a french dynasty of salmon dating back to the salmon of the napoleonic era, that's how it ended up with a fleur de lis?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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