Hawaiians Weep Tonight
April 7, 2014 OK, everybody! Sing it with me!
We-e-e-e-EE-EE-e-e-e-we-oh-mum-a-weh
We-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-we....
;)
What does
that saaay?
A wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh
A wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh
A wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh
A wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh
In the bakery, the mega bakery
;)
Hawaiians weep tonight
In the bakery, the mega bakery
;)
Hawaiians scream in fright.
A-weeee-e-e-e-eeeeee...
;)
... flip-flop dismaaaaay.
A-weee-e-e-e-eeeeee...
;)
... Those. Aren't. Okaaaaay.
Near the village, there's lava spillage
;)
They may not last the night...
Near the village, the gummies pillage
;)
Hawaiians flee their plight.
A-weeee-e-e-e-eeeeee...
;)
... beach disarraaaaaay.
A-weee-e-e-e-eeeeee...
;)
... throw that awaaaaay.
[wailing and instrumental solo]
Hush my darling, don't dare, my darling
;)
That pineapple's not right...
Hush my darling, don't stare, my darling
;)
HAWAIIANS WEEP TONIGHT.
HEP HEP!
Aloha OY! to Anony, Deirdre, Susan K., Melissa V., Lisa & Kate & Rob, Sophie J., Karen H., Alyssa B., Patricia M., Samantha M., And Christy J., for braving their various bakeries to send these to us. It's a jungle out there.
*****
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Reader Comments (57)
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Sharyn is now authoring Cakewreck posts.
Also, could someone please explain to me the meaning of a giant turd on a flower? (Pic #9)
that last cake picture almost looks like something Picasso would bake
Sharyn, yet again your genius in rewriting songs has me in awe!
Cake No.3 - are they performing a C-section or a ritual killing?
And cake No.7 must win the award for the most amount of crap that can be piled on a cake without it collapsing. I'd advise the baker to put away his box set of Lost for now until sanity prevails!
And a hello to you, too! (Ahola of cake #1 infamy)
It's amazing how the addition if frosting made Barbie look •more• topless rather than less.
It's official: I read too much Cake Wrecks. How else do you explain that I knew what the first line was referring to before scrolling any further? LOL
Is that ninth one supposed to be ... a luau? With taro (banana?) leaves, bananas (kinda), something pink, and a nice big, one-nostriled poo-pig?
That was awesome.
Bravo, Sharyn! In the immortal words of MC Hammer: U can't touch this......
Cake 8 could do double duty--is it a tiki cake or an Easter Island cake? Brilliant! Multi-functional!
Me too, RoseAnn. I got it (heard it?) at the title!
Major talent, Sharon!
LOL!! Well done as always Sharyn
Ahola everyone!
(I will leave it up to you to decide what whole lotta you gonna have today, mmkay?)
I'm reading this while eating my lunch, and it was hard enough not choking when I saw #9, but then Zeldabird's comment put me over the edge! I hope my cubicle mate knows the Heimlich.
What is cake #8 supposed to be anyway? My only guess is that the little creatures are distantly related to Gumby, but I think even that is a stretch.
Wilson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(that's no pineapple, its a seasick volleyball)
@ Brian: I KNEW there was something exceptionally weird (besides the wreckishness) about that cake, I just couldn't pin it down. When I read your comment though- there's the lightbulb, and the hearty guffaw followed.
Yes, I also started singing as soon as I saw the first line. I started singing and thinking "ooh, Sharyn's posting today, this should be good!" LOL, and of course, I was right.
Does anyone else see the last cake and think of the old "Hawaiian Punch" commercials? With the guy in the red and while Hawaiian shirt and funky looking face? The commercials were definitely drawn better than this young lady is though, but, she could totally be his girlfriend with the lazy eye. OMG I am SOOOO not PC. <snort>
Bwahahahahhaha
1.) Ahola is actually Ahoy and Hola combined so it's really more of a spanish pirate thing.
2.) Coconut bras...now in flesh tone!
3.) Speaking of coconuts...My, what large coconuts you have there, ma'am!
4.) Flip flops or pads with wings?
5.) Welcome Poo-Piley Island!
6.) Heh?
7.) I think John Locke is responsible for this.
8.) Someone heard that graham cracker crumbs make good sand...Someone doesn't know the difference between crumbs and shards.
9.) The Poo-Pile Hibiscus. The official flower of Poo-Piley Island.
10.) The lesser known Lemon Meringue Pineapple.
11.) ...And if you can't find any coconuts you can always use cow pies.
Brilliant repurposed lyrics. Thanks, Sharyn! I needed a good laugh today.
Brilliant!
It just occurred to me that with all the hubbub about common core and national standards in education maybe they need to do a national standards with bakery apprentices. Although.... I've heard the argument that common core is going to lower the standards for everyone. How low can you (bakers) go? These tropical bakers have set that bar really low. Too much poo.
"This is a weeping song"....
If Ahola Cake decorator is of Spanish origin, this one could easily be accepted ;)
I . . . can't I just can't. And I'm also laughing too much to really say anthing.
When I saw the Barbie pic on Facebook, I didn't realize she was wearing a "bra" that matched her skin color. I thought they just piped on some nips.
I kind of like the Picasso-esqe woman in the last pic. I'm so sure she's a wreck. I also imagine her saying, "my eyes are up here, sailor! Quit staring at my cookies!"
Laughed till I scared my kids. This is completely brilliant. XD
I like the Gumby lifesaver cake :)
This is my favorite karaoke song to sing. Now I have mental images to go along with it! I'm indebted to you, Sharyn.
This is my favorite karaoke song to sing. Now I have mental images to go along with it! I'm indebted to you, Sharyn.
*Patiently* The song "Mbube" was by Solomon Linda, a black South African, and had absolutely no ties to Hawaii. But you knew that anyway.
Bwah ha ha ha ha ha!! Now that song's gonna be stuck in my brain all day!
Hush, dear Sharyn
You genius, Sharyn
The bakers sleep tonight.
The rest of us, however, will be up all night with nightmares...
*shudders at last cake* It's ok, I didn't need sleep anyways.
As a resident of Honolulu, I must insert a disclaimer here. These "cakes" in no way represent the quality of the majority of local bakers, and most of us wouldn't even toss them into the ocean as an offering, knowing that we would instantly incur the wrath of the gods and suffer accordingly. Ahola!
Awesome! I needed a good laugh (and some nightmares) for today!
Must remember not to read CW during lunch when everything is quiet here in the cube farm. I had both hands over my mouth trying not to make any chortling noises. Ab fab Sharyn! You did a great job rewriting the lyrics to fit all these wrecks.
My favorite Cake Wrecks Post ever ;-) You made my day!
Brilliant Sharyn, BRILLIANT!!! This is the second time I have heard(yes heard-I sung along with it as I scrolled)this song used in a totally different manner than it came to the airwaves....the first time was "The Bobbit Song" on JohnBoy&Billy.....but Sharyn you elevated it and added pictures!!!!! BRILLIANT!!!An earworm with visuals!!!!!
@hapamama-I was enjoying the comments anyway but about fell onto the floor when I read yours......
Ahola, y'all!!!
Loved it, Sharyn! Although my brain keeps insisting "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" in Africa, not Hawai'i. *G* But the cakes are A#1 atrocious, for sure. Thank you for the smile as I work late, waiting for one last customer to pay up and leave, half an hour past closing time.
@Cheryl - *Very patiently* Repeat after me: The lion, Ha-why-an. The lion, Ha-why-an. The lion, Ha-why-an. The lion, Ha-why-an.
But you got that, right?
I cannot stop laughing. Or making typos arghh lol. I cannot even guess why the wreckerators even tried selling these to poor customers. Scary wrecks for everyone!
"Maliboob Barbie Meets the Mop Monster" is playing at the drive in?
@MarnieB: You ask,"How low can you (bakers) go?" Apparently, there is no limit here; good taste is in limbo!
Hey-does anyone else see Don King in that seasick "pineapple" CCC?
=^-.~^= *snort*
No. 5: Poo-Poo platter.
I think the third one is quite creative,myself. That way, if it was a Bon Voyage party, a good time can be had by all, even those who weren't going.
On the Barbie cake, the hair should go all the way down to the ground. That might help hide the flesh covered shell-bra and the shredded wheat skirt. What the frosting is cake #6 supposed to be? On cake #8, it looks like a giant wave is going to take out the Minions on their beach vacation.
Ahola!
I want to lick the icing off that second cake... yum, yum!
At any moment, the urge to sing 'The Lion Sleeps tonight' is only a whim away.
A whim away, a whim away.
I love this song, and was happily singing along to the post. Until I saw #8, when my brain did a double-take. Surely that one has to be an amateur job mixed in with the professional wrecks?
Lyn: best. post. ever! (weeeeeEE-EE-EE)
That was hysterical.
But what I want to know is just how long it took to accumulate a whole song's worth of disastrous Hawaiian cakes. I imagine you for the last five months thinking, "just one more Hawaiian cake, one more, please one more..." and then screaming "YES!" after opening up an email with a picture of a topless doll cake in grass skirt.
Huh. So that explains why they weren't terribly startled at seeing Stitch, Jumba, Professor Pleakley, and the rest. I always wondered about that.
Aloha OY!
(I'm so sorry...)
When I was a child, I would have just LOVED the jungle one with the trees and the natives and the crocodiles. All I ever got were plain, plain, plain cakes with nothing on them but a flat spread of icing. :-(