Getting Ahead
January 12, 2012 I've been feeling a bit blah this week. Call it the post-holidays slump (I miss my Christmas tree), call it the winter blues (It's SO FREAKING HOT), call it Al - whatever the reason, I'm more inclined to lie on the couch and cruise Etsy or play Mario Kart than any of my usual, marginally more productive activities.
So, as of right now I've decided to hop on the ol' treadmill desk and write something really positive for once. Something life-affirming. Something cheerful. Something to remind myself I've got nothing to complain about.
Right after I show you this:
;)
(Hint: It's NOT a guy on his hands and knees under a sheet.)
Wait for it...waaaiiit for it...
Ahh, there's the screaming.
And, whaddaya know? I feel better already!
Nope, no complaints here!
Thanks to Anony M. for sharing her winning entry in my unofficial "Worst Christmas Gift Ever" contest. You're a cut above the rest, my friend!
Reader Comments (167)
Why oh why is there a "merry Christmas" sign posted up on this, er, cake?
THAT CAKE IS SOOOOOOOOO WRONG! It took me a minute but once I saw what it really was...WOW! Just....WOW! Why would anyone WANT that cake? That is just so...EWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Oh my eyes. Did they really have to have the perky nipples on it? Can you imagine the person asking, give me a side of boob?
THAT CAKE IS SOOOOOOOOO WRONG! It took me a minute but once I saw what it really was...WOW! Just....WOW! Why would anyone WANT that cake? That is just so...EWWWWWWWWWWWW! I must go in the corner and weep softly now.
OMYGOSH AUUUUUUUUUUUUggghh!!¡!¡!!¡¡! Plus that creepy part of the picture where there's this redish triangle part right next to the ear O_O
Oh Em Gee! I would lose my breakfast if I wasn't anorexic!
Please tell me I'm wrong and that's not really a C-Section cake.
...And does that say "Merry Christmas" in the card on the side? I hope that person is not my secret santa next year.....
Is it just me or does the label on the box read "Merry Christmas"?
Gaaaah!! Oh MY GOD! Wth??? I really think this one takes the cake for the most disgusting/disturbing cake award. (and you have plenty of challengers on this blog)
Once again. Gaaahhh!! Ew.
Why oh why!?!?! Unless this is a joke cake for a Twilight party there is no reason this should exist. Okay... even then...
I didn't know Benjamin Button was born on Christmas! Seriously...yuck. An orange eyed ancient demon ripping his way into the world.
Oh, my. Mom used to say that there's no such thing as an ugly baby.... I begin to believe she may have been wrong! Sorry, Mom!
And, please, let me keep my perception of the wreck as "a guy on his hands and knees under a sheet". Pretty please?
*trying and failing to shake off mental imagery*
To fit in that belly with a head that size, how small must the rest of his body be? I hope the ultrasound gave them some warning....
W....T.......F........
I don't know what's worse, that someone asked for it, or that someone made it!
Oh, sweet heavens... There are no words...
Aaaarrrghhh!! Demon baby! Demon baby! I can't decide whether it's forcing its way out of the belly, or the belly is eating it... Both are disturbing. Thank you, Jen, for my daily dose of 'Oh my GOSH, where's the eye bleach?!' Haha :-)
Lucy
(Scotland!)
And here I was wondering why Peter Lorre was crawling around in a ghost costume.
On the upside, starting my workday here means that things can only get better.
Celadon ghostie
Blows babyheadgum bubbles.
Look out! About to pop!
That is, aside from the blue baby with a bad APGAR rating cake, the most horrific one yet. It looks like Benjamin Button being born...and he's cutting his own way out.
EEE-yetch! Is that supposed to be a C-section? The "baby" looks old enough to vote.
Yes, it is too a guy in a sheet. See, the bump is his bottom, the 2 little points are his heels. See? C'mon. Babies don't have 5 o'clock shadow. It's not a c-section cake. It's NOT a c-section cake.
Aw, hell, it's a c-section cake. Which I saw right before I was going to slice open a ripe, juicy ruby red grapefruit. (Gag.) Excuse me. I need to go post my uterus on Craig's List. I don't want it anymore.
And the sign says Merry Christmas.
WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE THINKING?
See- I've gone capsy. I need to lie down.
And my hospital removed the sheet prior to making the incision! Go figure - such incompetence.
Merry Christmas! ???
Merry Christmas ???????
That's just so wrong ----
Oh no. No. No. NO. NO. NOOO!
The headline will read, "Headless, Armless, Legless Torso Gives Birth to 80 Year Old Man's Head".
Merry Christmas, indeed.
The sign says "Merry Christmas"!?!
Arrgh. Looks a little like Jeff Dunham's Walter puppet. Frightening!!!
And all this time I thought they went north and south, not east and west.
wait....WHAT?!?!?!
O.M.G.
I think David Lynch baked this one.
Urk.
Cannibalism, dismemberment, gigantism of the head, graphic surgery display ...
Seriously, that cake is wrong in so many different ways that there aren't enough hours in the day to list them all.
Yeeeeowwch.
Please, tell me that's a C-section baby! If not, someone needs a lesson in reproductive anatomy A.S.A.P.
SO.WRONG. Let's start with the fact that this "baby" more closely resembles a full grown man, complete with bushy eyebrows. This reminds me of something from those cheesy horror flicks of the 80's. Can't miss the gratuitous nipple shot either, thanks for that! If this woman hasn't already given birth, she probably doesn't want to now!
Oh come on, now they aren't even TRYING to make non-wrecks!!! You can't tell me that the baker actually believes babies come out looking like that! It's more like "Alien" than "here's the new baby!"
*shudder*
Hmm, I didn't realize the operating room was kept so cold.
Gaaah! Yeah, it took me a minute. I was all, "What's the red cut next to his shoulder? I don't get it." Read the rest of the post and looked back...."AAHHH!!"
So wrong. So, so wrong.
AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH why would anyone do that??? WHY D:
What in the heck is that? I can't gifure it out!
This one took me a minute. I thought first, since it was a wreck, it might be someone at a proctologist's office. But then I saw the prominent, er, bumps in the back. And the, the, the, THING where the head was coming out.
And started screaming.
Why can't people just leave some things (ie childbirth) in the realm of mystery??? When I see this I think "Yawn! Just another messed up boob-and-baby cake...." The tiny Merry Christmas sign really amps it up a notch, though....
Omigod omigod omigod.... (runs screaming from the room)
Back...
I knew something was wrong when I saw the red around his neck. I though, is that a peak of his shirt? Oh no, nothing so innocent.
Some things cannot be unseen. Thank you, Jen, for my nightmares.
Is that "Billy Quizboy" from Venture Bros. being rebirthed via C-section.
Ewe!
I'm still waaaaiiting for it. If it's not a guy under a sheet on his hands and knees then I have no idea what that is.
There have been a lot of really interesting cakes posted in the past, but this one...just....w o w.
Anyway you slice it, this is gross!
That is a freakishly big head to be emerging from her yahoo!!
Put it back, put it back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe it's supposed to be recreating the birth of Benjamin Button?