Getting Ahead
January 12, 2012 I've been feeling a bit blah this week. Call it the post-holidays slump (I miss my Christmas tree), call it the winter blues (It's SO FREAKING HOT), call it Al - whatever the reason, I'm more inclined to lie on the couch and cruise Etsy or play Mario Kart than any of my usual, marginally more productive activities.
So, as of right now I've decided to hop on the ol' treadmill desk and write something really positive for once. Something life-affirming. Something cheerful. Something to remind myself I've got nothing to complain about.
Right after I show you this:
;)
(Hint: It's NOT a guy on his hands and knees under a sheet.)
Wait for it...waaaiiit for it...
Ahh, there's the screaming.
And, whaddaya know? I feel better already!
Nope, no complaints here!
Thanks to Anony M. for sharing her winning entry in my unofficial "Worst Christmas Gift Ever" contest. You're a cut above the rest, my friend!
Reader Comments (167)
Look, it's a cake commemorating the birth of Julius Caesar! I'm making him a redhead if he wasn't already one.
Hey, I've got it! They could have actually made this even MORE disturbing by making the baby-head realistic and with bodily fluids dripping all over it. Unbelievable.
And this is why I shouldn't read the comments...I could've just been mildly disturbed by this cake but then had to go back and see that there were nipples...nice. Please tell me someone didn't pay for this cake!
My question is why is she giving birth the to guy from mad magazine? I didn't realize that newborns have bushy eyebrows and crows feet.
Why didn't anyone tell me I could have ordered a C-section cake??
P.S. They clipped the hem of my hospital gown to two posts near my shoulders so as to create a curtain...this cake torso should thank her lucky stars they've allowed her so much modesty. And yes, you're welcome for the mental image...
In our house at Christmas, Santa pops out of the fireplace to leave gifts for all. I wonder where Christmas is celebrated by an ancient elf popping out of a torso to leave everyone traumatized!
The worst part of this post is that I had to read through FIVE comments before I realized what it was I'd been looking at. O.M.G.
I was actually "relieved" when I read the comments qualifying this as a C-Section delivery...that's how wrong this cake is.
I may be showing my age here a bit, but does anyone but me think that "baby" looks a lot like Mad Magazine's Alfred E. Newman? What, me worry?
I'll take a slice with nipple please? or the five year old fetus head. Either will do
THIS.... IS.... JUST... WRONG !
speechless.... on my way to the therapist.
@Sharyn - you're the one who made me laugh out loud!
"I need to go post my uterus on Craig's List. I don't want it anymore."
And so, half the people in the world went totally insane.
P.S: Haiku Joy is AMAZING!!!!!
What, the Merry Christmas thing is obvious! After all, it's Christmas when "Unto us a child is born". :-O
AAAAAHHH! Gutterball again.
... 'cuz ...
Something snuck up in the chimney
And it's moving quite a bit
And it's been there all year long
Santa loved the special brownies
And the eggnog was well spiked
And his helper elf got lost
And is waking up
Goodnight!
***
In the words of Sgt. Apone: Stay frosty, people
is it wrong that the rock hard nipples on the headless torso bother me more than the grown person's head coming out of the draped headless torso's stomach, maybe I'm weirder than I thought.
Ummmmmmm is it cold in the operating room? Because that ladies turkey timers are all the way out!!
If they were going for the "cupie doll" look, then this is an EPIC FAIL!! :-/
OH THAT IS JUST SO SICK AND WEIRD AND FREAKY AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT ALL BUT IT IS (and I hate it when people type in all-caps so you know I must be spooked)!!
Didn't eveyone know that Jesus was born by miracle c-section? Merry Cesareanmas!
I guess I've been a fan for too long...my mind went straight to exactly what this is. I never though "oh, small man under a sheet." Poor cake.
Is this the birth of Benjamin Button??????? YUCK!
who the EFF has nipples like that??
Wesley was WRONG!!!!!!!
This is what to the pain is! This is much worse then his version!
I hope it is Red Velvet cake. With Strawberry filling.
Alfred E Newman at birth.
My exact words were "Ooooh" quickly followed by "Eeew!!!" On a side note, I don't believe babies are meant to have eyebrows that bushy...definite old man eyebrows
The funny thing about this cake is that it was made and taken to an OB floor. Pretty sure it was a joke.
Oh for the love...I don't even have words to express the horror. What is WRONG with people?!?!
what has been seen cannot be unseen...
"Congratulations, Mrs. Jones! You just gave birth to a 70 year old man!"
No...It doesn't say Merry Christmas on it because it represents the birth of ...NNOOOO....NNNNNNOOOOO....
That is a freakishly big head to be comming out of her hooha. Ug.
Geez I hope this isn't some sort of birth of Jesus cake (I'm with y'all. That Merry Christmas card sends it over the top) because...eeeww!
Or maybe an early Happy Birthday to Beyonce's kid? Either way...eeeww!
Jen, I see that you filed this one under "Questionable Taste." If there's really anyone out there who has to ask whether this cake is in good taste or not, please keep those people away from me.
My husband asked me what this was. When I told him he asked me, "What the freak is wrong with people!!!!".
I am so jaded that the most disturbing thing on this cake for me is the nipples. What did they do to that cakeperson's nipples?
Pshaw! Meat baby, blue baby and fetal, demonic pig. This one’s nuthin’!
@Sharyn LMAO “post my uterus on Craig’s list.” I’m literally in tears!
@Fiona I suspect only we women laughed at that but I laughed hard enough for a roomful of unhappy males.
Pshaw! Meat baby, blue baby and fetal, demonic pig. This one’s nuthin’!
@Sharyn LMAO “post my uterus on Craig’s list.” I’m literally in tears!
@Fiona I suspect only we women laughed at that but I laughed hard enough for a roomful of unhappy males.
At first glance I thought it had something to do with the human centipede...then I saw nipples.
Why...in...the...WORLD does anyone need a C-Section cake,except maybe a non-ugly, super delicious one as a reward for her trouble??? (after she's recuperated, of course...)
How does one order a cake like this? "Yes, I'd like a headless, nippily torso birthing a short-haired Paul Bunyon head through a ripping C-section incision and surgical sheet saying Merry Christmas mo fo's"
This is enough to put anyone off cakes for life. Never mind babies and childbirth!!! Distasteful to say the least!!
That...is...disturbing...
Wow and just when I thought it was safe to look at baby shower cakes.. they put out something scarier than before! Well that takes care of my wanting a baby lol.
Cakeoliers, where are you when we need you?
W to the T to the F ???????
See, at first I thought "disfigured hobbit". Then I saw the Merry Christmas Sign and thought "Make that an elf". Then, after a few seconds, it hit me &, out of all the horrifically wrecktastic cakes ever posted on here, that was the FIRST ONE to actually make me scream, then wish I never had that second flap jack.
i s that a baby?
*shudder*
*looks away*
*looks back*
*SHUDDER*
Yeah, gross cake, but the treadmill desk is AWESOME!!!!