Five Awesome Things
April 15, 2010 [UPDATE: We have our winners! Grammy of Grammy's Garden and ZekesMom10 of Insane in the Mombrain, please e-mail me with your addresses. Thanks!]
Every now and then, we get comments from readers that go something like this:
Yeeeeah.Well today, in honor of our friend Neil over at 1000 Awesome Things and the rest of you positive Pollyannas, we picked out a few Wrecks from our arsenal - and we're going to find something awesome to say about each and every one of them. Even if it kills us. Which, let's be honest, is entirely possible.
Ready?
*pulling up happy pants*
Here we GOOOO!
Hey, it looks just like corn! And corn's a great source of fiber! Cleans you right out! And clean colons are awesome!
Look how artfully arranged the tablecloth is! The folds are so even! So regular! Being regular is also awesome.
Uh...Noisemakers!
I love noisemakers.
Not that you'd want to put these in your mouth, of course, considering where they've been...but, uh...yeah. Noisemakers are awesome.
Gee, that looks like a really sharp knife! It probably cut right through that hideous scarecrow thing, no sweat! In fact, I bet whoever cuts cheese with that knife doesn't have to strain at all.Not straining while cutting the cheese? You guessed it: AWESOME.
Alright, now we're on the home stretch! [rubbing hands together] Bring on the final contender!
Oh, crap.[thinking]
[thinking]
[despairing]
Ok, I think I got it:
You tell me.
I've already read it, and believe me, it lives up to its name. And speaking of names, mine's on the back cover. So that's worth the purchase price right there. (Did I mention it's also half off on Amazon right now? Yeah. That helps.)Now go forth, and comment! Whoever makes me laugh the hardest wins the glory, while two randomly selected commenters will actually win a personalized and signed copy of The Book of Awesome. I'll even have Neil do the personalizing and signing. [waggling eyebrows]
Oh, and Neil is willing to ship anywhere in the world. So Estonia, I'm looking at you.
Chloe, Tosha B., Anony M., Molly C., Jeff H., & Rachel V., go make me proud.
- Related Wreckage: The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake
[John's rule type stuff]
When you comment, be sure to put your name. If your name is something boring like John, be sure to follow it up with something creative like (the hubby of Jen). Or, ya know, your last name. And remember, we're picking two winners at random so if you happen to be painfully unfunny like me, you can still win. Winners will be announced at 2pm (Eastern) on Friday. Finally, if you don't win, you should still buy the book. We could all stand to focus a little more on the awesome in life. Good luck and Wreck On!
UPDATE: We have our winners! (See the top of this post.) Thanks, everyone; your comments have been the best free entertainment I've had all week. ;)
Reader Comments (2218)
It is so awesome that there is a cake out there which I can SAFELY leave on the counter, and not worry about my four year old twins getting into. Life is good! Oh, and it's chocolate, as pointed out by others. Chocolate is good regardless of how swirly and ... well, anyhow...
Choccccooollllaaattte.
Chocolate is always awesome, no matter how "crappy" it looks!
-Mallory
It is gloriously shiny, has lifelike organic curves, and that little bit of cake peeking out unfrosted from that mantle of...chocolate...is absolutely seductive.
...o_O.
The skill it takes to attempt such a wonderful representation of the rocky mountians out of icing - particularly with that thin sheen of ice over them - Obviously a refrence to global warming... All the glaciers after all *are* melting away. This cake was obviously meant to be a Cautionary Tale...
If you dont pay attention to the gasses you are leaking....
Nicole - the Empress of Evil
It would make a great advertisement for Fiber One!!
Mandy West
mandywest98@yahoo.com
Ooh, look! There's a mirror on the wall behind it, so you can see part of the cake's backside! And the whole creatively lumpy "cake" also brings to mind a backside. And without a backside, I would never be able to sit down to read Cake Wrecks. And Cake Wrecks is AWESOME!
It's a chocolate haystack
any cow would attack.
What? Already been here?
Then it's just waste, I fear.
There's nothing more awesome than a shiny chocolate cake! Patty Breh
Hmm, I'm going with the stove top it's sitting on looks shiny and clean, and for me that tends to be the last thing that gets cleaned in my kitchen. So it says a clean kitchen, and a clean kitchen is AWESOME!
There's really not a lot to go on, even the marble has something red smeared along the front of it.
It's near a mirror!
Mirrors let you see if you have something in your teeth!
Making sure your teeth are clean is AWESOME!
Another plus: If I was able to produce such a large...cakey deposit...it would mean I lost 10 pounds in no time flat! Awesome!
~Kirstin B
The perfect cake for Diarrhea Sufferers Anonymous. Shiny piles of poo are no longer socially unacceptable! No longer! Say it loud, say it proud.
My positive comment on cake number five:
Clearly, some elephant has a wonderfully healthy colon!
The photographer did an awesome job of taking the picture! If you look in the background there was a reflection of the cake. So, they blessed us by cutting the reflection out of the pic. Because looking at that dinosaur BM would NOT be awesome twice, especially all at once!!
Well, it's right next to a custard tart, I love custard tarts.
Susan M from Finnegan's Pawprint
The sculpter of our final piece is an absolute genius. Truly, how could any compare? The smooth swirl of the top, signifying the spunky, childlike play of the creator, balanced just so on the more stable, conformist cylinder of the bottom. It positively sings to the conflict that lies within every person, that of whether to become normal and steady, or to release the wild interior. The gleam of the finish is like a reflection of the soul, revealing to us what only—
Wait. This ISN'T modern art?
Passing by this "cake", you can't help notice the beautiful marble slab. And you all know passing marble(s) is better than passing um... bricks!
Well, marble was always my favorite rock.
-David R.
What cake with a mousehole WOULDN'T be awesome? Just think what you could hide in there! Tiny presents! Or diamonds! Or even more "AWESOME" cakes!
Ooooh, shiny!
The cake in the very lower left hand corner of the picture looks like it may be yummy! Yes! Let's give THAT cake some love!
It looks like its made out of chocolate and, yeah, chocolate normally tastes pretty good even if its melted and falling off. Mari
It's modern art! There even appears to be a ventilation system behind this piece which allows people to admire it from up close.
It appears someone tried to make a "drip sandcastle" out of cake, then covered it in a shiny chocolate icing. A unique artistic statement, for sure.
There's actually a few things to like about that cake.
1) I totally covet the marble slab it's on. I've been looking for one for a while, and it looks to be a nice size and thickness.
2) SHINY! Who doesn't love shiny things? I wish my hair were that shiny.
3) The frosting(?) is the exact color of my husbands eyes. Which makes me think of him. Which is great, because I love him and think he's awesome. And the cake prompting me to think of awesome things makes it awesome by association, right?
You can brush your teeth in the reflection on the cake! and clean teeth are important.
-kate C.
It's covered in chocolate, and anything covered in chocolate has potential for delicious-ness.
You know what they say, you can shine a turd, but it is still a turd.
Well, there are two pretty awesome things about that last. First is the beautiful marble board it is sitting on. I'd love to have one of those, but I'm guessing it's pretty heavy, and I wouldn't want to carry it up three flights of stairs.
The second awesome thing about that cake is the little hole down at the base; it's the same shape as a cave my sister and I used to play in when we were small. So, yeah, pretty awesome!
The icing looks like ganash (sp) and that stuff is always good. and its shiny.. most people like shiny things! Karalea Anderson
Just look how perfectly the yummy, YUMMY chocolate reflects the light! You can take this into a deep, dark cave with you and it'll reflect the tiniest spark of light for miles so you won't get lost or eaten by the big scary dinosaur! GIVE ME 2!!
I have a pile of good things to say. Shouldn't even after to strain. Would you like be to start with #2?
You know what they say, you can shine a turd, but it is still a turd.
Hey! There is a mirror behind that meadow muffin!
360 view of that bad boy? Awesome.
-Anna Kristine
"It" is covered in chocolate, and chocolate is always AWESOME!
Kristina Whetzel
www.kyaniteacres.com
Whoever said it's a waste of time to polish a turd never saw this AWESOME creation!
Hey, that last cake will look so good when cut up and I'm sure it's gonna taste amazing cause it's smothered in chocolate, and I don't even have to worry about wrecking the design! That's AWESOME.
-Sue from Canada who really wants a book like that one to cheer her up because she's getting laid off in September and not sure she can even stand to work here that long...
Come on, can't you recognize class when you see it?
It's over MARBLE. And Marble IS classy.
Also the brown 2hing looks so shiny and tasty. And chocolatey. An if you look really close you can see that some of the filling is pouring on the bottom (he he) right side, and it also looks tasty.
Greetings from Argentina!
Paula
This is an amazing cake. It speaks deeply to the human soul. It's understandable that people just aren't going to get it.
It tells the tale of Pedro the cake maker. In his homeland Pedro was only allowed to make 1 kind of cake (vanilla with a basic white buttercream frosting.)
Pedro longed for the day when he could express himself through his cakes. No longer able to tolerate the boring white cakes he was forced to make day in and day out. Pedro rebelled and began creating cakes in a fury of creativity, Red Velvet, Carrot, even the forbidden CHOCOLATE! Pedro was jailed for his crimes of creativity.
Although imprisoned Pedro used what materials he had on hand to continue to make forbidden cakes. As he was awaiting his execution Pedro made this cake in the pitch black confines of his deathrow holding cell.
After his execution had been carried out the Overlord of the country saw this cake in the cell. So touched at the spirit of Pedro and his passion for cakes, the Overlord shed a single tear and declared that all cake makers would be allowed to make whatever cakes they wish.
This cake was preserved so that all might remember the sacrifice of Pedro and his incredible passion.
I've got it, it's brown! And brown reminds people of dirt, and without dirt, nothing would grow, right? So...awesome?
Yeah, I dunno. Something like that.
--Ruthie the Random
Are you kidding? That last cake is awesome! It's a diet cake-it helps you stay on your diet because you can't actually bring yourself to try it. What could be better than a diet-promoting cake?
Okay, by the time I type this in, someone else may have pointed it out already, but there's a small HTML error in the link to Amazon. Looks like it should be easy to fix, but I thought you'd want to know about it.
As for the last cake, I got nothin'. Also got a particularly boring WV: qrfur. "This cake is the qrfur all ills! Honest!" Well, it's something.
I think it's totally awesome that they are letting 3 year olds decorate cakes! What an awesome way to tap into an under-used labour force.
Like my great-grandfather used to say,
creating a pile big enough to use as a fencepost is...
AWESOME!!!
The phrase "it's so pretty I can't even eat it" will not be heard about hit cake allowing everyone to enjoy the taste without worrying about destroying someone's masterpiece.
Shiny, chocolate and reminds me of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. It makes me feel like I'm in Junior High.
OK i think that many have already noticed that fantastic Marble Slab!!! I want one just like it. And then there's the chocolate (it is chocolate, right?) You can't go wrong with chocolate....
wow. painfully unfunny seems to describe me perfectly.
anyway, that heaping pile of poo reminded me of that night i gave my dog a steak bone. things were runny like that icing THAT night too. and approximately the same color.
though, did you notice the little opening in the icing at the bottom? Going off of the assumption that this is a "bee hive" they were very realistic in providing the bees a place to enter...? AWESOME :)
Whether bee, mouse, or hobbit, who WOULDN'T want to live in the glistening dungalo?
I mean, really....
awesome.
I love how all these cakes represent a theme. That theme being "Thanksgiving Dinner". CORN is being eaten, SCARECROWS are, you know, there... There's lots of NOISE, and perhaps if you're eating outside, there's a WATERFALL around (or sewage pipe). And then, to top it off, the finale of having, er... DIGESTED your Thanksgiving meal! How festive!!
Posted by Elsie LeSage