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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Wedding Wrecks (107)

Wednesday
Feb212018

Wedding Wrecks, Vol. 345

They wanted bubbles:

 

They got sprinkles.

Mm, crunchy.

 

They wanted this:

 

They got... this:

("Hang on, you can still see some icing. BRING MORE FLOWERS!")

 

And finally,

Jessica wanted this:

... but what she got was so bad that her photographer decided it'd be too much to have the whole cake in frame, and so focused on some guy in the background checking his phone instead:

Good job, Jessica's photographer.

 

Thanks to Anony M., Sonya J., & Jessica K., who like to think that guy is reading Cake Wrecks, because, dude, SO META.

*****

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Friday
Feb162018

Wedding Wrecks, Vol. 215

It's your wedding day. Of COURSE you want sprinkles.

Er...

Did the camel sneeze?

 

Brides-to-be, want your cake to convey a sense of elegance in addition to the fun, campy style normally reserved for peanut vendors and clown cars? Then have I got the cake for you!

(Levitating tiers come standard. Cake stand extra.)

 

Or perhaps you'd prefer something less colorful. Something that evokes less "Big Top" and more "Sewer Pipe...with Flowers":

You could call this color a blue/grey/green. Or "hurk," which is faster and more accurate.

 

Still hungry? This'll help:

I'm reminded of a song my dad used to sing to me when I was little. Maybe you know it. Does "Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts" ring any bells? (Man, they just don't write lullabies like they used to...)

 

Hey, you know how we're always wondering why more wedding cakes don't use Mardi Gras beads?

Well, wonder no more!

These colors are making me a little queasy.
Which is ironic, considering the Pepto Bismol icing.

 

[dramatic movie trailer voice]
"She was the belle of the ball, the picture of elegance.
He was a rough country boy who'd never seen a fork.
Together, they would create something the world had never seen.
Something ground breaking.
Something divisive.
Something... well, kind of prickly."

And that's why you always let the groom have his own cake, ladies.

 

Thanks to Karen M., Karin D., Judy M., Anony M., Danielle T., & Jennifer C. who would all like a stabby piece, please.

*****

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