You Say Tomato, I Say Turnip

Hey, everybody! Do you know what time it is?!

That's right, it's "You write the &%#* post, john!!" time!

So, uh, yeah.

Let's see... I need something really easy to write so I can go back to playing my video game. (Those aliens aren't gonna kill themselves!)

Right, how about some wedding missed marks? Or as I like to call them, "Let's have an Epcot in the comments about getting what you paid for!"

Weee.

BEGIN!

Ooh, pretty. Of course, this cake was on MarthaStewart.com so it was probably made with platinum shavings and unicorn tears.

Now let's see what Patty I. ended up with.

Bummer.

(On a side note, all I can hear as I write this is the MarioKart music as Jen vanquishes her little cartoon foes. That and the occasional, "In YOUR FACE, Donkey Kong!!")

Next cake:

No lie, this is one of my favorite cakes in our library. And please note that it's made with fondant.

Or as Buddy would call it, Fahn Dahn.

Now, people often complain that Missed Marks always have a fondant inspiration cake with an all-buttercream wreck, which is why they're so horrifically bad. So for a better comparison, here's Tina M's resulting cake which was made with fondant:

It's like apples and pigeons.

(I'm now laughing maniacally at my own joke. I think I'm tired.)

I can't think of anything funny to say about this next cake. So instead, I'll just sing a song that's currently stuck in my head.

"You're BEAUtiful! You're BEAUtiful! You're BEAUtiful - it's true!"

"La, la, la, something WHAT to do."

Aaand, that's all I know.

Also, I'd like to apologize to Michael and Stephanie for taking 4 years to post your cake. I overslept.

This next inspiration cake is awesome:

Huh. Maybe this one is my favorite. Maybe I just like blue. I'm so confused.

Never mind. So let's analyze the incredible complexity and skill required to make the gorgeous design above:

Step 1. Make a three-tiered round cake.

Step 2. Stick blue circles on it.

Aaand let's see how Serena P.'s bakers did!

Perfect!

Well, that's all the time I have, since I'm pretty sure I just heard a Wii remote hit the wall. And that's never good. ("Oh no, Luigi lose! MAMA!")

So, until next time, be thankful that Jen writes this blog.

*****

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Wedding Whoopsies

Brides, have you ever had a lofty cake dream...

...fall flat?

Or have you ever wished for pretty-as-a-picture polka dots...

...only to get gravity-defying cow patties?

How about something that should have been simply sublime...

...that turned terrifying?

Perhaps your "something blue"...

...has you seeing red?

Have you ever wanted creamy lace and bows...

...only to get "AAAAUUUGGHH!!"

Well, have you?

Yes?

Oh, good!

Then send me a picture, won't you?

This stuff cracks. me. up.

Thanks to brides Ashley B., Emily K., Lara A., Christie S., & Kathleen M. for sharing their private pain with us. So that we may laugh. And then feel kinda bad about it. But not enough to stop laughing.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot: