Lost in Translation?

I know what you're thinking, you crass people, you. You're just bursting to say something devastatingly witty that involves the word "crap" right now, aren't you? Uh-huh; I knew it.

Alright, then, rather than stifle it, let's just get this all out of systems, shall we? It'll be cathartic. Turn to the person next to you...what, there's no one nearby? Ok, go get someone. I'll wait.

Ok, are there at least 2 of you here now? Good. Now, look at the cake, turn to the person(s) next to you, and make all the obvious, disgusting, and profane jokes you can think of. You get extra points for saying the exact same thing at the same time. Running low on material? Try guessing what that inscription says, or what occasion the cake was for. (For example: Just-Found-Out-My-Boyfriend-Is-Cheating-On-Me Day, with an inscription that includes the word "eat".)

All done? Got it all out of your system? Can we discuss this like rational adults now?

Nah, I didn't think so, either.

Before you comment: yes, we all know what it looks like, people, so there's no need to spell it out for us, mmkay? Let's try to keep our comments as clean as possible, or failing that, to at least use the "*" key when necessary. Thanks, all!

It's a Texture Thing

"To reduce paper consumption, local elementary schools are having students practice their handwriting skills at area grocery store bakeries. More news at 11."

If this was the visual, you'd have to believe it, wouldn't you? Check out how the word "happy" is in all caps, but "birthday" is not. And then, inexplicably, the name is in cursive. It's like the writer was practicing different handwriting styles - or 3 toddlers each took turns writing.

Hey, the average person should know that the word 'birthday' is longer than the word 'happy', right? Can we agree on that? Good. Now look where this person started writing 'birthday'. Yeeeah.

This whole word-spacing thing wouldn't have been an issue, of course, if the person responsible had simply turned the cake right-side up. (You did notice it's upside-down, right? Of course you did, faithful Cake Wrecks reader!)

But perhaps worst of all is the fact that it looks like the yellow Teletubby poo'd out the whole inscription. Seriously, just look at it. Tell me that writing doesn't look the teensiest bit fecal.

Karen D, I'm so sorry you actually had to pay full price for this.