"Serious" Eats

For day two of our CW "Virtual" Tour we'll be virtually visiting Serious Eats. This food blog has something for everyone, whether you're a seasoned foodie (heh, "seasoned") or a bumbling incompetent in the kitchen like myself. So in honor of the occasion, here are some of the least appetizing food cakes I could find. Yeah. You're welcome, foodies.

Let's kick things off with a zesty selection of grilling poo, shall we?

Bam! There's nothing quite like charbroiled poo patties, is there?

"Abort! Abort! Those aren't sausages!!"

And speaking of flaming piles of...er, flames...how about some Smores?

That's everything you need right there: graham crackers, chocolate, airbrushed marshmallows on popsicle sticks, and enough red dye to give your dentist nightmares. Mmm.

Sometimes John and I worry that we eat take-out just a little too much. It's nice to know we're not the only ones, though:

That's a grooms' cake (note the oh-so-matrimonial rose petals). I especially love how the baker just cut out the Taco Bell logo and bells from the paper wrappers. Heh.

And lastly, I'd like to share my very own Cake Wrecks Wreck-cipe:

Step 1) Find a dropped cake that is beyond all hope of repair. (Alternatively, you can substitute a cake you dropped yourself.)

Step 2) Pipe a giant pink tube of icing down the middle of the cracked cake.

Step 3) Add sprinkles (Because everyone wants sprinkles.)

Step 4) Call it a "Hot Dog Cake"

See? Now that's a recipe I think I can handle.

Check out my interview with Erin Zimmer, where we talk about cakey controversies, other bloggers, and more, here.

Thanks to Amie A., Mel W., Brantly S., & Amy G.!

- Related Wreckage: Mixed Grill

"World" Tour Reminder: Hey, Orlando! Don't forget to come see me and John tonight at 5pm. Details are in the right sidebar. Hope to see y'all there!

Butterfly Misses

[singing] "There's two things I know for sure:

"These Wrecks number seven..." (okay, six)

"And they'll make you want to hurl!"

Sorry for inflicting you with that song. Heh. Ok, now let's see how else bakeries destroy the seemingly simple butterfly, shall we?

First, every Wreckerator knows you have to make butterflies out of cupcakes. Otherwise, you run the risk of them looking like...well, butterflies.

And we can't have that, now, can we?

But malformed, lumpy wings just aren't enough. Sometimes a wacky mustache is needed:

"Oui oui, I believe I have, how you say, wee wee'd mehself! Hon hon hon!"

Or maybe a turd-errific, camo-riddled model:

Uh, guys? Exactly which demographic are you going for here? I mean, I don't think little boys are wild about butterflies, and little girls don't usually like camo OR poop.

Luckily, though, some butterflies still get a happy ending.

Charlotte F., Raven, Rachael, Rebecca R., Jessica A., & Bijan P., stop looking at me like that; I was merely referring to his smiley face. Really.

- Related Wreckage: It's a Wreck Off!