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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (389)

Friday
Sep212018

It's Time To Take The Fall, Y'all

It's mid-September, 94 degrees and raining, and watching the Weather Channel has become a descent into hurricane madness.

We need something to save us, bakers. Something to light a light at the end of this hot, dark, wet tunnel.

No, I'm not talking about porn.

Why would you even think that?

Stop it. Stop thinking about porn.

Er... Right.

Now...

BRING ON THE PUMPKIN SPICE STUFF!!

::upbeat techno music::
::sounds of vrooming engines::

::announcer voice:: Thaaaat's right, ladies and gents, here they come! Our new pumpkin spice products of 2018!

 

First up, in celebration of today's socio-political climate, here's a tasty little number we call "Ominously Circling Crows Will Teach That Stupid Scarecrow A Lesson He Won't Soon Forget!"

Perfect for sending that seasonal message of warning, or grab one tonight for dinner to celebrate all things corn, crows, and frightened scarecrows!

 

Of course we're still dropping our flagship product, the world famous PSL:

Yes, our Pumpkin Spice Log may not be number 1 yet in the Pumpkin Spice Product market, but it's definitely #2. And we pledge to keep on pushing until our PSL is the biggest Pumpkin Spice Movement in the land!

 

There's nothing like the colors of dead leaves to bring new life to your flagging ennui, which is why our "Make Like A Tree, And Die" cupcake cake is PERFECT for Fall office parties.

Ahhh, you can almost taste the leaf mold.
(That's how you know the Pumpkin Spice is working!)

 

And when all else fails, you can't go wrong with any of our new-and-improved "Sure, Let's Call It A Pumpkin?" collection:

 

Please note our "Sure, Let's Call It A Pumpkin?" collection is not pumpkin flavored. To quote our marketing department, Emma, "This is more about the aesthetic, you know?"

SO EXTRA.

 

Thanks to Sarah T., Katelyn C., Melissa F., Linda F., Alyssa, Mary D., & Bridget O. for bringing the extra pumpkin aesthetic.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Friday
Sep142018

You Pig!

Attention minions raising smaller minions:

Have you ever noticed something... off... about Peppa Pig's nose?

I only ask because I keep getting Peppa Pig cakes over here, and they're surprisingly, er, adult for a kids' cake, if you know what I mean.

Admit it: if you'd never seen Peppa Pig before this would make you spit out your Diet Coke. I mean, what is that lizard doing?

 

Granted, if you do know what Peppa looks like, that's not too bad.

[sing-song] BUT THISSSS IS!

Flashing Flops Of Fleshy Flaccid Frosting, Batman!

My theory is these bakers see exactly what we see - c'mon, let's call a dong a dong here - but they're so determined to NOT see it that their subconscious takes over, gleefully piping out penises left and right because "WE'RE ALLOWED TO NOW, IT'S A PIG NOSE! WHEEEEEE!"

C'mon, that's basically every 9-year-old boy's dream job.

But still, bakers, at some point you've gone too far.
And that point is riiiiiight around.... here:

Oink oink, motherfluffers.

 

Thanks to Liz B., J-la, & Nadya S. for the excuse to make a Beyoncé-the-chicken joke. FINALLY.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot: