Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (554)

Thursday
Mar092017

Barbie Hurl

In honor of Barbie Day, here are a few tips for making the "perfect" doll cake.

 

- This is totally acceptable for a Groom's Cake:

No, really. She's got panties on, so it's cool.

 

- When making a doll dress cake, go for icing colors every little girl loves:

Specifically, the colors of despair and gnawing ennui.

 

- If your doll needs a bodice, be sure to pipe something fashionable and delicate:

 

- And while you're at it, try to make the cake part look more like a skirt, and less like an alien egg devouring the prom queen in a B-rated horror movie.

"Oh, Trevor, why did we go skinny-dipping in that cemetery at midnight? WHYYYYY??"

 

- If dress cakes are too intimidating, remember there's always this option:

Just keep it classy, minions.

(Good grief, it's like that bottle of tequila has never seen a Barbie upchuck before. I mean, hello, personal space, Jose!)

 

Hey, remember that traumatizing tunnel scene in the original Willy Wonka?
Pretty sure this is the cake version:

There's no earthly way of knowing
How much flotsam they were throwing
There's no knowing where we're going
Or any sign the wrecks are slowing!

Oh wait, that's not really a tip, is it? Hmm. Ah, ok, I've got one:

- Don't do this.

 

I should warn you: this next tip features a Barbie cake that is not professionally made. I repeat, NOT professionally made. But as a public service, I feel I have to share it anyway.

- Never ask your drunk roommate to make you a Barbie cake:

"Let's light this candle, b**ches!!"

(It made me laugh. WHAT.)

 

But to go out on a professional note:

- Nobody put Barbie in a corner.

She'll just sit there. Waiting. And watching.

Right, that's it for me! Y'all sleep well tonight.

 

Thanks to Erica D., Stephanie H., Bridget B., Kristie S., Lori, Luise D., Criss N., & Sarah W. for both the wide-eyed nightmare fuel and ALL the sprinkles. ALL OF THEM.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

Tuesday
Mar072017

On Your Mark, Get Set, WRECK!

John and I've been binge-watching The Great British Baking Show over on Netflix, and last night's episode had the contestants making Lady Fingers to wrap around whatever obscure, unpronounceable European pastry concoction I'm half-convinced they make up each week just to make us Americans feel clueless.

ANYHOO, so imagine my delight when I sit down to this week's submissions to find a different sort of Lady Finger wrapping a cake.

And by "different" I mean it's less like a Lady Finger and more like a Dude Dangle-Dongle, IF you catch my gratuitous drift and elbow-nudging.

Go on, tell me that's not intentional.

Drat, where are Mel and Sue with a good pastry pun when you need them?

 

Thanks to Teril for the excellent example of that German classic, Schlängehosendinkenküchen.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.