This Just In

While I agree that cake makes even bad news at least a little sweeter, there's still a right and a wrong way to break some news.

This is why fortune tellers should never become bakers.

[on the phone] "No, of course we're not celebrating that you didn't get parole, Trish; there's a frowny face on your cake and everything!"

Why, yes, that IS a used pregnancy test on the cake.
(And you thought I'd never post it!)

"People, I have some good news, and I have some bad news. The good news: This is our last all-day staff meeting! Yeah!

"The bad news: We're going out of business because we can't afford the mortgage any longer.

"But wait! There's more good news: we have a cake."

"Oh, and more bad news: they spelled 'mortgage' wrong. Still, if one of you can get this baker fired and then take his or her job, then that's actually good news, right? Right? Guys? Where are you going? Hey, at least leave me a slice of cake! C'mon!"

Alicia A., Natalie H., Anony M., & Morganna B. were recognized as "Wreckporters of the Day" this morning in a brief online ceremony. Sadly, they received no cake.

- Related Wreckage: Makes Ya Wonder What the Card Said

Lamb Fleeces

It's time once again to look at that most Wrecky of cake traditions: the lamb cake. This cake seems to be dependent on either shredded coconut and jelly beans:

This face may haunt my dreams.

...or an assortment of flotsam just baffling enough to distract you from the fact that there's a pipe cleaner glued on for its nose:

If the pipe cleaner doesn't work for you, there's also some handy curling ribbon dental floss. And tulips. Growing out of the lamb's back. You know, just 'cuz.

Here's one inspired by Sesame Street:

And then one by Elm Street:

This silent menace poses the question: do you eat it, or does it eat you?

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Yeah, like that.

Now, [singing] awwww...freak out!!

Whoah, Nellie! What's worse: the clumpy yellow and pink sponges, the oddly finger-like "legs" jammed in the icing, or the fact that *I* don't have crazy window displays like these in my town?

Natalie S., Angela R., Melissa M., JB., Amanda M., & Kyra S., I think we all know the answer to that.

- Related Wreckage: Chick Chicky Boom