Somebody, PLEASE, Explain The Green Beans

'Twas the week before Easter, and all through the bakery
The Bakers plopped plastic and all kinds of fakery

The chicks were wrapped snugly, each in her shell

"Too tight. TOO TIGHT!"

While visions of killer buns
turned sleep... into hell

"SOOOOOON."

Then out from the aisles
came a shriek, filled with hate!
So we set out our green beans:

And decided to wait.

His face looked like spiders

His ears, flaccid tubes

And when he turned 'round...
hang on, are those boobs?

His eyes were insane

His mouth smeared with drool

which dripped when he laughed
like blood in a pool

[shudder]

Then I heard him exclaim
ere he killed all the lights

"Hoppy Easter to all
and to all, a good fright."

"Jolly Rancher?"

Thanks to Angela F., Kaci M., Tara F., Rick H., Amy Jo, Lisa J., Christina, Kelli M., Amber P., Stephen D., Lori W., & Mia C. for the hare-raising tail.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

8 Insult Cakes That Backfired

They tried to be mean.

They failed.

This was supposed to say, "You're a traitor!"

"Drunken Loser"

"You Old Buzzard"

This one's almost accurate, if you think about it:

Like, "You get older, THEN dirt."

No?

Aw, thanks!

What's a riddens?

And who's Noboby?

Here's a hint: That's not supposed to say, "shix."

Ooooh, "burn."

I prefer using people when they're alive, though.
Less messy.

Thanks to Anony M., Warren E., Donna Z., Mandi O., Mark S., Jenny C., Anony M., & Robin K., who now know the BEST insult is to congratulate someone on their crapping dog.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.