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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (688)

Monday
Feb112019

Un-Bee-Lievable

Bakers, as a self-professed expert in the art of romantic puns, I feel confident in stating the following:

If you draw a bee on your Valentine's cake, then you have to write "Bee Mine."

HAVE TO.

Not this:

 

Not this:

 

And definitely not this:

(I'm not sure which is worse: the suspense or the grammar.)

 

Conversely, if you do write "Bee Mine" on your Valentine's cake, then for Stay Puft's sake, DON'T FORGET THE BEE.

This bee chose NOT to be.

 

You'll also want to avoid forgetting the bee, misspelling "Be Mine," and generally confusing the heck out of your customers:

Wha....?

Aha, that clears things up. Thanks, John.

 

Thanks to Julie B., Brittany R., Marin O., Lauren P., & Maria B. for being the best "be mine" bee miners mine eyes have ever bee-held.

*****

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Thursday
Feb072019

7 Cakes For "Dump Your Significant Jerk Week"

You know I love love, minions, but it's the week before Valentines Day. This is no time to get soft! No, we must be HARD. And DRIVEN. And I DIDN'T mean to make this a dong joke, but HERE. WE. ARE.

Ahem.

Let's start over.

Do you have a significant jerk in your life? Is it time for a fresh start? Do you need a cake to help you break things off? Then get comfy, my friend, and allow me to present some prime dumping options:

1) Give it some finality:

"Also it's not me, it's you."

 

2) Try some good old-fashioned mocking:

I'm guessing Shawn doesn't like "girly" stuff like pink flowers and overthrowing the patriarchy. YOUR LOSS, DUDE.

 

3) Remember, it's the thought that counts:

Also we're equal opportunity dumpers here. Buh-bye, Roxanne.

(Here's an easy mnemonic: you'll want to dance once the in-laws leave. So it's "riddance.")

 

4) Draw her as a weasel:

You laugh, but with the proper setup I bet an icing weasel could be devastating.

 

Of course, if you want to dump someone with cake, why not use a dump cake?

As you might imagine, I have a few options in this category:

5) The Poo-Poo Platter:

Here' you've got your basic poo-wangs and poopermint patties, plus a scattering of rabbit pellets, 'cuz there just wasn't enough crap on this cake.

 

6) The "You're A Dried-Up Old Turd:

Ew.

 

7) The "Thanks, But I'LL PASS":

"Also maybe see a doctor, because something is seriously wrong with you."

 

Thanks to dumpees Justin C., Thomas B., Roxanne S., Kevin B., Ashley M., Danielle P., & Tauni J. for getting it all out there. Don't you feel better?

*****

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