You Won't BELIEVE How Desperate These Click Bait Headlines Are

No matter how I rail against our Facebook overlords, the truth is we really depend on the traffic we get from my daily updates over there - even with FB only showing my posts to about 6% of you. :/

So to make the most of it, John keeps pushing me to make my Facebook posts more "enticing."

Success!

(Anna M. made her own princess castle homage. Day = MADE.)
(Though I must admit, Anna, those candles are making even ME uncomfortable.)

I only have so many headstrong castles cakes I can post, though, so I did some research on what kinds of headlines get the most attention. Here, you guys tell me if I'm doing this right:

5 Huge Mistakes You're Making Right Now That Will Probably Kill You

Mystery Code Unlocked, Incredible Hidden Message Revealed!

One Weird Trick GUARANTEED To Make You Lose Eight Pounds Overnight:

Baker Gives Entire Graduating Class The Finger

Shocking New Discovery: Did Leo Kill Himself?

You Won't Believe What's Under These Skittles:

(I still don't.)

Benedict Cumberbatch Gets Frisky, Drops Scarf:

So, how am I doing, guys? Feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments; maybe I'll get some post inspirations out of 'em. ;)

Thanks to Anna M., Jodie G., David D., Harri, Tim R., Ashley, Laura R., & Josh R. for the excuse to post yet another of those bizarre scarf cakes.

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Just In Time For Mother's Day: Ten Uterus Cakes

This Mother's Day, why not surprise mom with something REALLY surprising?

"It's supposed to be a uterus.

"SURPRISE!!"

Yep, what could thrill Momther more than an edible version of the thing you broke on your way out? (Er...sorry again about that, Mom.) And since uteri come in so many flavors (ew), here are nine more "inspirational" uterus cakes to really get those creative juices flowing. (Ewwwwsorry.)

Evil jester laughs at your feeble attempts to serve ice cream:

See it? SEE IT??

Hunchbacked Basketball Player Can Dribble No Longer:

Aw. Playa' got served.

Bullwinkle? Is that you?

Ok, while I agree with Bonnie Burton that everything really is better with googly eyes, I still have to draw the line at making letters out of staples. Yowch.

"But, Oh-Cakey-Goddess-of-Most-High-Snark-and-Random-Sprinkles" you're saying, because you're finally using my proper title, "What I REALLY want to see is a tiny cake crawfish inside a cake uterus!"

Well, ok, but only because you asked politely.

What's that? You want two slices? Yeesh. You're so shellfish.

Hey, remember that time when Dobby from Harry Potter tried to stifle a really, really big sneeze?

"Accio CHOOIEE!!"

(I know; that was a real "light bulb moment" for me, too.)

Gosh, all this pink is getting kind of monotonous, don't you think?

Here, this should help:

And that's how everyone learned that Jeannie was actually born a Smurf.

And now, a little "poetry:"

Q: "Why did the lady blush during her sonogram?"

A: "Because she saw a fallopian!"

***

***

Ahem.

Some people give their uterus a cute little pet name:

(I'm seeing a cross between a Snork and a Fraggle. Please tell me I'm not the only one.)

Lola? Aw, that's sweet.

I bet Crampy McClots-a-Lot could kick Lola's butt.

And finally, the balloon-animal uterus you never knew you needed:

You know, I never thought I'd like a uterus cake, but I've really taken a shine to this one.

Thanks to Laura A., Anony M., Erica O., Tanya S., Isabella, Dawn M., Sarah M., Nicki R., Sarah U., & Shelley T. for all the pro-creations.

*****

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