Just Clowning Around
August 31, 2018 Hey, remember when clowns were funny, endearing creatures that delighted young children with their crazy antics and playful innocence?
Yeah, me neither.
;)
"I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL."
Believe it or not, I used to BE a clown. I'm talking face paint, balloon animals - the works. I realize that automatically makes me creepy and terrifying, but as a five-foot-tall, pigtail-wearing geek girl, I'm actually Ok with that.
;)
"FEAR ME!!"
"Oh, and could you grab the Cheerios off the top shelf? I can't reach."
You're probably wondering how children reacted to me as a clown, since everyone knows clowns only exist to obtain your internal organs in as bloody a method as possible - which they will then juggle in front of you, cackling, while an out-of-tune calliope churns slowly in the background and you're surrounded by fun house mirrors and porcelain dolls with empty eye sockets who somehow seem to be getting closer... and closer...
;)
Sorry, where was I?
Oh, right. The kids.
To be honest, I spent my clowning days way more scared of children than they ever were of me. You see, children are very small. And fast. And when you present a pack of them with a single defenseless clown holding an excessively large bag of free candy, children can make the Hunger Games look like an episode of Mister Rogers.
;)
Little Known Fact: clowns bleed squirty flowers.
And if you think a headless clown is unsettling, imagine a huge pile of nothing but clown heads.
Or better yet, just look at this:
;)
(Ok, so maybe "better" wasn't the right word...)
Now imagine it slowly rotating, while a music box tinkles in the next room, and the door behind you creeeaks open to reveal a pale little girl with black, staring eyes, who suddenly shrieks...
"MAKE ME A BALLOON SPLEEN!"
O.O
Thanks to Anony M., Liz M., Dena R., Kristina K., & Carrie M., who dare you to look at this clown I found in a local arcade here in Orlando. That's right: THEY DARE YOU. Me, I'll just be whimpering over here in the corner...
*****
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And from my other blog, Epbot:
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