Flakes Welcome

"Hi, I'd like a cake, please, and could you put a 'happy birthday' plaque on it?"

"No, no, I mean one of those plastic things on a spike - you know, a 'happy birthday' pick?"

"Maybe we should start over."

"Could you write, 'Over the Hill' or 'Officially OLD' or something like that? This is for my husband, so it's ok if it's borderline rude."*

"What the...? What is WRONG with you people? Look, my husband usually gets pie for his birthday, so I promised him that THIS year he'd get a REAL birthday cake..."

"I WASN'T FINISHED."

"But wow, you guys are fast."

[rubbing temples] "Look, I give up. Could you just give me a cake - any cake? No writing. Just grab one out of the case and hand it to me. Please."

"Which one? Oh, I don't care...how about the one with the chocolate flakes on it? Yes, that one. Yes, the flake. Thank you."

Oh, like you didn't see THAT coming.

*Actual dialogue Angela R. used while ordering this cake.

Thanks to Molly S., Savannah W., Angela R., Beth, Lisa H., for always taking things so literally.

Drunken DeBOTCHery

The great thing about wedding cakes these days is how they incorporate the couples' personalities. You know, the things they love and value, the things they enjoy doing together...

IN CASE OF BEER EMERGENCY, TOPPLE CAKE

"'Til sobriety do us part."

And who could forget this classic groom's cake?

Classy with a capital K.

And hey, not only is Bud Light good for hosing off patios and cleaning spark plugs, it's also grrrrr-REAT for smashing into the cakes of people you don't like much:

Take THAT, Wally.

Pro Tip: Writing "IGLOO" on the side only tells us just how far you missed the mark, bakers. Next time, try "last-minute replacement." You'll look like a STAR.

Parents, if you name your kid "Beer," I'm pretty sure no amount of Welch's sparkling grape juice is going to reverse the damage:

Although I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to shake the hand of the person who put this display together.

Of course, I imagine any parent of a child named Beer would find a cake like this sort of inevitable:

Still, not sure I'd believe 'em, Dad:

Big sloppy thank you kisses to Jennifer J., Laurie, Serena M., Jen, Erin M., Lauren K., & Kati B. And hey. Hey. HEY. Guys. I like, TOTALLY love youallsomuch. Seriously. Now someone gimmie a bucket.