Well, This Is Awkward

We at Cake Wrecks realize that there are some of you who don't celebrate Christmas. Or Hanukkah. Or Kwanzaa. Or any other winter holiday. Heck, you probably don't even like winter all that much. Or snow. Or puppies. Basically, there's just no making you happy. So, in an effort to placate your scrooge-ish sensibilities, today's commentary will be completely made up of awkward, holiday-free small talk. Enjoy.

So... how 'bout this weather, huh?

Yep...I hear it might even hit 20 degrees tonight. Here! In Florida! Crazy.

...

So...

Have you heard if they canceled Castle? 'Cuz that would be a bummer for Nathan Fillion.

You know, the guy from Firefly?

Firefly. C'mon: the Joss Whedon show? Really popular? No? You've...never seen it. Oh. Um. Never mind.

So... [puffing out cheeks]...yeah.

Uh... Chris, right? What do you do again?

Oh, you're an accountant. Great.

You know, my lawn is just completely dead.

...

Probably the cold.

So... how do you know Janet?

Bunko, huh? Huh. I've heard that's...fun.

[checking watch]

Hey, you know what I could use? A beer. [elbowing ribs] Nothing better on a cold night, am I right? Eh? Can I grab you one?

Oh. You don't drink. [nodding] Well, good! Good for you.

[scratching ear]

Now there is a smokin' fine woman. Hoo whee! Get a looksie at that caboose!

....

I'm terribly sorry. I didn't realize you had a daughter.

Do you know where the bathroom is? Over there? Oops, Janet just went in. Guess I'll just wait.

[fidgeting] [sigh] [adjusting cufflinks]

Woo boy. I'm getting kinda hungry... think I'll go check out that cheese platter. Want anything?

Lactose intolerant, huh? Bummer. Well, it was great talking to you... Christine, right? Ok, yeah, I'll talk at you later. You can count on it! Heheh, get it? That's a little number humor for ya.

Oh, and sorry again about the caboose thing. You have a lovely daughter. In fact, I...am leaving now, yes. Sorry. G'night.

Thanks, Tyler L., Vanessa D., Somer P., Reginia B., Rachel H., Jason D., David G., Christina N., & Ashley. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll just be over here sway-dancing in the corner and trying to avoid eye-contact.

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CCC Day #10

Heifer International works to end hunger and poverty and care for the earth by providing gifts of livestock and training so that communities can generate sustainable incomes.

Please click here to donate your dollar.

Prepare To Feel Festive

...whether you like it or not.

Ok, gang, let's run through that check list again.

Homicidal ghost penguins?

Check.

Santa's head on a pike?

Well, it's more like a "turret," but... check.

Pistol Pete's Gingerbread Gun Shop?

Shoot, look's like this baker's gunnin' for a raise! Quite a bang up job, too! Ha ha!

I mean: check.

Alrighty, looks like we're all set!

[speaking into headset] We have a "go" on "Festivities." Repeat: we have a "go" on "Festivities." Proceed with operation "Flower Dump."

Ah, the spirit is moving already!

Ok, let's get wardrobe in here to dress those frogs I ran over last night.

Perfect! They look just like reindeer!

Now, we just need to cram 57 wrapped candy canes, three pounds of icing, and this bucket of plastic flotsam onto a single cake round. Move it, team, move it!

I am so proud of you all right now I could just bust.

Well, gang, that's a wrap. Now, get out there this weekend, and have a ball!

Er.

Perhaps in a more figurative sense.

Felicitations to festive feelers Chardy C., Rose B., Amber, Dustin S., Cadence M., Ashley D., & Amy W.

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CCC Day #9

Birthday Wishes' mission is simple: to bring birthday parties to homeless children.

Click here to donate your dollar.