RED SOCKS FOR EVAH

Hey guys, john (the hubby of Jen) here. As a native "New Englandah," I felt it was my duty to pipe up today (heh) in celebration of an extremely momentous occasion. Now, if you would all kindly raise your glasses of Sam Adams...

{ahem}

[singing]

WEEEE AHH THE CHAMP-YUNS

WEEEE AHH THE CHAMP-YUNS!

WEEEE AHH THE CHAMP-YUNS

WEEEE AHH THE CHAMP-YUNS!

WEEEE AHH THE CHAMP-YUUUNS...

... OF THE WAAAAHLD!

This one's for you, Boston:

Wicked good game.

Thanks to Emily D., Lacey H., M.D., Emily F., Heather D., Laura M., & Nancy S. for pahking their cahs in the yahd.

HalloWEEEEE!

Tonight's the big night, people!

ARE.
YOU.
READY?!?

I'll take that as a yes.

Now, the first thing you need to kick off that Halloween party later is an OFF DA HOOK historical lecture.

I'll start.

Did you know that Halloween was once known in Druidic circles as "Hallsweer?"

It's true!

Ok, not so much. But you should totally make up a bunch of random factoids and see how long it takes your guests to lynch you.

Or just wish everyone a happy "Hallawen," and when questioned, insist that's how it's pronounced "in the old country."

"The Ambiguously Scared Trio"

Of course we can't let the night pass without saluting you, Mr. Failing-To-Grasp-The-Concept-of-Eyeballs-Man:

In the face of crippling chocolate eyeball shortages, you step up with something that technically still has eyes on it, AND is circular. Bravo, Mr. Failing-To-Grasp-The-Concept-of-Eyeballs-Man. Bra. VO.

(Srsly, the more you try to imagine the thought process that led up to this, the funnier it gets.)

And finally, to REALLY kick your party off right, just go to your local wreckery and order a cake with a "Halloween look."

I guarantee the result will be terrifying.

Or at least really funny.

(I especially like how they really captured the spirit of "Hallowee" with all that orange, blue, and green.)

Thanks to Courtney M., Dawn K., Michelle L., Cortni C., & Eric F., who I hear is a real whiz when it comes to Hallowee decorations.