Be Afraid. Be VERY Afraid.

What's scarier than all the Miley Cyrus costumes we'll see this Halloween?

An entire post of Halloween puns.

That's right, my friends. Brace yourself... for the pain.

***

What do you call trendy ghost detectives?

"In" specters.

Why did the coven mess up the words to their potion?

They couldn't tell which witch was spelling which.

What do you call pink ghosts?

Fa-BOO-lous!

Why did the skeleton go to a BBQ restaurant?

For the spare ribs.

What do you get when you cross a werewolf with an eagle?

A real birdbrain who's all bark and no flight.

And now, your moment of Jen:

Despite everyone's efforts, nothing could lift Stanley's spirit.
He drifted through the day, a mere ghost of his former self.

Thanks to Anony M., Laury S., Sarah Beth, Joy S., Janice C., Lynn M., & Andrea T., who would like to point out that the ghost clan is not amused:

"We're watching you. Aaaaaalways waaaatching."

Tatas For Now

It's October, my friends, and you know what THAT means:

Time to increase breast awareness!!

Of course, I'd have thought most of us - at least among humans - were already pretty dang aware of breasts, but, hey. [shrug]

And since according to this cake being "breast aware" means looking at scantily-clad boobages... LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, START YOUR INTERNET BROWSERS. (Unless you're under 18, in which case, get off my lawn. And stop looking at boobs. You'll go blind.)

I've also heard we're supposed to be aware of breast cancer this month, which is a serious issue demanding our respect, sensitivity, and as many crappily iced pink ribbons as the bakery display case can hold:

You might wonder what a giant cupcake covered in big plastic beads has to do with breast cancer awareness:

... but if you look closely, you'll see there are actually pink ribbon sprinkles mixed in with the giant growth-like clusters of beads.

And I don't know about you, but I feel SO MUCH MORE AWARE.

Because, bottom line, my friends, this is about hope:

[jazz hands] HOPE!

And mammaries:

[leg kicks] MAMMARIES!

And reminding everyone to get regular check-ups through cringe-inducing-edible puns:

(made by Wendy Thomas)

[sliding to front of stage on knees inside giant spotlight][with jazz hands][and a confetti canon]
Cringe-inducing-edible-PUUUUNS!!

Seriously, though, those are kind of genius.

But I still don't want one.

Thanks to Jenny J., Angela G., Eddyth W., K.G., Heather M., Marie P., Abby T., & Michelle, who bet the Mammo-Grahams were a SMASHING success.

Note: Here are the answers to your inevitable questions:
You: Did you really just censor out the nipples on the first cake?
Me:Yes. Yes we did.
You: Didn't you just show us full-on nekkid lady bits on Friday's post?
Me: Yes. Yes we did.
You: But isn't that...
Me: Yes.
You: Aren't you...
Me: Yes.
You: I don't...
Me: Neither do I. Glad I could clear that up! -john (thoJ)