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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Song (27)

Wednesday
Mar152017

With Apologies To Julie Andrews


♫ Bulbous-nosed witches who probably eat kittens


Messages piped out that should be rewritten

(Supposed to read "Congratulations Wojtek From Thunder Road")

 

Cakes decorated with smeared silly string

Bakers make some of the wreckiest things!

 

Is that a tongue sticking out of that poodle?


 Were they attempting to make ersatz noodles?


"Congradulations" with Doritos rings

Bakers make some of the wreckiest things!

 

Plumber's jeans that don't quite cover their "assets"


Creepy-faced smiley with too-thick eyelashes


Harry and Gollum and wands holding rings

 Bakers make some of the wreckiest things!

 

Though these dogs might

Be all frosting

 Though these cakes are bad!

I simply remember these wreckiest things

And then I just can't

Feel sad! ♪

 

 BIG thanks to Katie G., Victoria L., J.R., Vanessa M., Lisa H., Pete Z., Andrea G., Darla H., Becca T., Rachel L., and J.C.  You know you're my favorites, right?

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

Monday
Mar062017

Mangled

You know that song from Tangled that always makes you cry?

This isn't that song.

 

[Spotlight on a single, burly baker]

It's delicious, creamy, dairy
I use so much it's scary

And design-wise, my cakes are not the neatest.

 

But with lots of yummy gook
There are flaws you'll overlook!

That's why I always pile on the sweetness.


Can't you see me at the counter making those hearts?
Piping on the icing in thick streams

Though it may look kinda deadly
As it sits there, swirling redly.
My motto's always been "More Buttercream!"

[chorus line of baker emerge from the shadows]

 

More Buttercream!
More Buttercream!

See, it's really quite as viscous as it seems!


Don't know what to call this creature
But more frosting is a feature!

I'll always choose to use more buttercream.

 

[second baker steps to mic]

It's got scars and lumps and bruises
Plus something here that oozes:

But still, to me, it's burger cake perfection


And despite handwriting woes
Frosting piles + Oreos

Will be enough to sell this sweet confection.


Can't you see this at your wedding, little ladies?
All the frosting hides the fact it leans.

Yes, I'm preaching to the choir
When I say, "Pile it higher!"
I always tell the bride,
"More Buttercream!"

 

More Buttercream!
Lick that lid clean!

And I know some of you think this is extreme!


Though our cakes leave stomachs screaming
There's a child inside you beaming

'Cause secretly you want more buttercream.

Yes, secretly you want more buttercreeeeeeam!

 

Thanks to Shannon S., Layla C., McKenzie R., Sarah, Jennifer, Heather M., Monica M., Anony M., Charity, & Maggie L. for living the dream, Cake Wrecks style.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.