Here Fishy Fishy...

How to tell if the sushi served at the wedding is fresh:

Yes, those are live fish in wineglasses.

Naturally, I have a few questions.

1) Live animals in a wedding cake? Really? What next: hamster rolly-balls?

2) On a scale of 1-10, how bad is it that now I want to see a hamster in a rolly-ball jammed between two cake tiers? I mean, are we talking "not our first choice for babysitter" bad, or "your name should be on a national watch-list" bad?

3) Is "rolly-ball" even what you call those things?

4) What was I talking about?

Oh, right.

5) Getting back to the fish thing: if you MUST have fish in your wedding cake, why wouldn't you at least use pretty ones? Was the bait shop having a 2-for-1 sale?

6) You know how the wedding cake usually gets set up a few hours before the reception? Well, just how long do you suppose the fish were in there? I mean, not to be indelicate or anything, but what happens if one croaks before cake-cutting time? ("It's ok, kids, he's sleeping! And his friends are just...kissing him! Yeah! Really!)

And if you're not completely grossed out yet, just imagine the smell of old fish water mixed with the smell of icing when they took that top tier off. Mmmm.

Perhaps you think I'm coming down too hard on this cake, though. After all, the cake itself isn't so bad, so maybe the whole live-fish thing was an isolated incident. Right?

Right?

Uh...

WRONG.

If this groom's cake teaches us anything, it's this: when there are live minnows embedded in your cake, RC cars mashed down into the icing can seem downright classy.

Stacey W. & Karen W., believe it or not, these aren't the first wedding cakes with live fish in them here on CW. There was also this one. So, are we looking at a terrifying new wedding trend? (And who among us secretly hopes so?)

- Related Wreckage: The Groom's Revenge

Guess That Cake

It's time again for your favorite Wreckie game-show: "GUESS... THAT... CAKE!"

[cue applause]

Welcome to Guess That Cake, where your most delicious desserts are decorated and designed, deconstructed and defined. I'm your host, Kay Krex. Let's start the show!

[cue applause]

Now folks, if you're just tuning in, you're just in time for the rules. We'll show you a cake that was prepared by professional bakers at an actual cake store. All you have to do is GUESS... THAT... CAKE!!

Here we go. Let's start off easy with a cake sent all the way across the interwebs from Bridget H.:

Is birthday boy Shaun a fan of:

A) The Fireys from Labyrinth (attacking a B for Bowie, of course)
B) Colorful Rorschach inkblot tests
C) Budweiser

And the answer goes to....

C. Budweiser! Gosh, it seems so obvious now, doesn't it? I was sure it was a trick question. I mean, who'da thunk those little firey heads weren't trying to eat that letter "B"?

The stakes are raised on this second cake, a CCC, sent in from Jenny H. Let's take a look:

Is Jenny's cake supposed to be:

A) A horseshoe commemorating the Kentucky Derby
B) California holding a sledgehammer
C) The Virginia Tech logo

Drumroll please.....

Ooooh, so sorry to the contestants that did not choose "C." We realize it was the least obvious choice, as that cake absolutely does not resemble the Virginia Tech logo, especially considering the missing parts of the letter "V" and the general lack of enthusiasm put into the "go team."

Moving on to our final round where the points that we've neglected to mention until now are DOUBLED, let's take a look at this masterpiece sent in by Jasmine:

Can you tell us if that little guy on the bottom is supposed to be:

A) A broken vase
B) A bullhorn with a stick through its eye
C) A fish with legs wearing sunglasses and a beret and carrying a paintbrush

Survey says...

Eeeeesh- tough one. Tough one. I'm sure most of you were so distracted by the haphazard confetti sprinkles and day-glo lettering that you missed this little camp logo altogether. Spitting image, really. What a shame.

Better luck to you cake-lovers and wrecktators out there on the next episode of "GUESS... THAT... CAKE!" G'night, everyone!

[cue applause]
{off air}

- Related wreckage: Twins!