Ahhhhh....GOOF OFF!!

Good morning!

[tapping fingers on keyboard]

[yawning]

[going back to bed]

...

2 hours later

...

I'm up! I'm up. Sort of.

So, as you know, today is International Goof-Off Day. Yep, international law clearly prohibits you from doing anything productive today, so you should tell your boss you'll be napping under your desk and/or playing Angry Birds all afternoon. (Maybe do that via e-mail...sometime tomorrow.)

Other than more naps and possibly making waffles later, *I* plan to celebrate by expending even LESS effort than usual on today's post. I know, I know; you didn't think that was possible.

Well, BEHOLD!!

This is a dinosaur:

This is a basketball:

This is The World's Best Resignation Letter:

This is a divorce cake:

Obviously.

And this is the most ridiculous flamingo/poo-dropping/Peeps/Jack Daniels wedding cake I have ever seen:

(Yes, they even cut holes through the cake tiers for the pillars. We can only hope it was done ironically.)

Nice to see we're not the only ones goofing off around here, eh?

Thanks to Reihonna F., Erin M., Sebastian S., Linda N., & Melanie R. for helping us get in the holiday spirit. May your naps be plentiful, and all your birds extra angry. 

[John! Where'd you put the Nutella? It's WAFFLE TIME.]

Spring Love is in Despair

So now that Spring is officially here, you know what's coming, right?

That's right: wedding season.

[rubbing hands together gleefully]

BRING ON THE WEDDING WRECKAGE!

Let's kick things off with a lovely Spring Fling inspiration:

...that in execution got a little, well, flung:

I like to imagine that this was delivered on the back of the baker's scooter, and that those smushed fondant butterflies on the sides were all tragic road casualties. Because, somehow, that actually makes this more excusable/believable.

What the baker says:

"Yes, I can do that!"

What the baker means: 

"Yes, I have some shiny ribbon!"

 

Maybe at the reception they shone a spotlight on the ribbon so the glare would blind all the onlookers. That's what I would do.

Oh, hey...maybe that was the baker's plan all along!

Bride: "That looks TERRI..."

Baker: [flashing ribbon]

Bride: "I CAN'T SEE! Where'd you go? Are you here? Where's the cake? Hey! WHERE'S MY PURSE?!"

[sound of running feet]

This next one could be a metaphor for life and love in so many ways. Not that I mean anything by that, fellas. 'Cuz I don't. So never mind. In fact, can we not talk about this anymore, please? It's just a cake, ok? SHEESH.

EXPECTATION:

REALITY:

Waw-waaaaaw.

Because wedding cakes are like marriages: some settling may occur.

Thanks to Valentina V., Michele W., & Paula B. for sharing their wedding day woes. We're here for you, ladies. Right after we finish laughing.