Whatever You Do, DON'T BREAK EYE CONTACT
March 18, 2019 Minions, today is a holiday I can celebrate whole heartedly and with zero effort, because it was practically made for me.
That's right, today... [dramatic pause].... [which stretches too long]... [so now everyone is side-eyeing and shifting around uncomfortably]... is Awkward Moments Day.
;)
Awk. Warrrd.
Now, I'm sure you're wondering: do I actually have cakes for Awkward Moments Day?
::hearty chuckle::
Let's put it this way:
Do I routinely forget the names of people I've met more than 3 times and then try to fake it by calling them "Heyyyyy you"?
;)
YES I DO, YOU.
And did I once turn the corner at Target while complaining to John about my then-boss only to come face-to-face with that very boss AND his wife?
;)
BUTT OF COURSE.
Did I then have to continue working for that boss for another 3 months after trying to play it off like I'd been talking about a different co-worker, knowing full well he wasn't buying it since there were only 3 of us in the whole office?
That's a big cringey 10-4, partner.
;)
RIP, my short-lived career installing software on new factory PCs.
You know what I love most about this holiday, though? The fact that I'm not the only one out here celebrating it.
;)
How may people do you think this cake serves? 12? 15?
;)
Let's pause to appreciate that THIS is the scene someone chose to have hand-piped on what I have to assume is Matt's birthday cake. His birthday cake.
The best ones, though, are the unintentional celebrations of Awkward Moments Day. The celebrations that become Awkward Moments themselves.
Like when you accidentally turn a birthday cake into an obituary:
;)
Or when you didn't anticipate your initial cupcakes being served in rows of 3:
;)
Or you so badly botch whatever you were TRYING to write that it ends up looking like the graduation cake for a Sex Ed class:
;)
We can only hope it was served with a side of bananas.
(WHAT)
(Oh, was that just my sex-ed class? Allllllrighty then.)
Thanks to Christine P., Robert C., Laurie C., Francine M., Jennifer G., Diana G., Amy O., Kevin C., & Sherri C. for keeping it real with raw banana appeal.
*****
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Reader Comments (15)
I had a little trouble deciphering the butt cake. To save you the effort it says, "Carol, Best Wishes from those you leave BEHIND"
Whyyy??? Of all of these, I had to fixate on that last image-or bit--that reads: "....been safe"...(!) Now, all I can hear in my head is "IS IT SAFE?" (from Marathon "Man")....and there goes a sleepless night. .... ....=^0.0^=
Zucchini and cucumbers work too, as my kids can attest. Their attesting sounds a lot like, "Moo-ooom, don't talk to m about that. Ew." Challenge accepted.
The last one would have been SCARIER if it had read "IS IT SAFE?"....instead. ....(yeah, I still get jangled thinking about Marathon Man.) ...but....anyway.... =^0.0^= ....
If you're feeling kind of blue
And you don't know what to do
If you're awkward round your boss
And you're customers are cross.
If you never get a minute
And you don't know your friend's name
If three Ks have made you bin it
And your Tarewell's pretty lame.
Before the big OI get here
And before the birthday dies
Before your butt stops jiggling
And the safety gets your eyes.
Get a cake wreck
Shoop-shoop
Get a cake wreck
Shoop-shoop.
Absolutely hilarious! The initial cupcakes packaged in threes is my favourite awkwardness of all :-)
I wonder if that cake with Matt on the porcelain throne is a chocolate cake? Just askin'.
I'm with Charles. The KKK cupcakes are the funniest. And I'm a black woman (with a sense of humor).
Those Krazy KupKakes! I nearly sprained a giblet, laughing!
Well that obituary cake was nicely decorated at least lol.
The significance of a Big OI was initially lost on me... until... oh, never mind.
That first one is an awesome coming out cake for a transgender employee, if they brought it in themself. I came out over work's Christmas break, but if I had done it during the year I totally would have done it in cake.
The "Goodbye San, Hello Potty" cake must be for a parent who's just starting to toilet-train their toddler. I mean, it makes perfect sense; potty training does tend to cause SAN loss in any parent.
That "farewell" cake... well, it looks like a "farewell, you will die" cake. WHY THE RED SMEAR, WRECKERATOR???
Can we take a moment to appreciate how accurate that toilet is? 😂 That's some good piping (groan). I mean, I've tried to draw toilets (I have little boys 🙄) and that's hard to do!