No One Will EVER KNOW
August 16, 2018 To quote absolutely no one, piping mistakes happen. A slip of the wrist, a miscommunication, a minor earthquake - for whatever reason, sometimes things go wrong with your order, and that's when many bakers get to practice their most undervalued skill set: sighing a lot and calling their managers.
Still, the good news is that professional bakers are, in fact, professionals, meaning these ninja-like icing sleuths can leap into action, repairing even the most heinous of cake crimes with a single, uh...
;)
Never mind.
Granted, some of them can be a little more subtle than others:
;)
(I did say "a little.")
Then again, erasing names on birthday cakes is the most common correction bakers have to make, so it goes without saying that they are really, really bad at it.
There are plenty of techniques besides the scrape & smear up there, though. Other options include:
;)
- Airbrushed Blobs
;)
- Icing Blobs
;)
- Icing Blobs Of Unusual Size
;)
- The Sprinkle Dump (Oy!)
And for a real clean sweep:
- Stick A Smaller Cake Board On Top Of It And Just Start Over
;)
There's nothing quite like watching a master at work.
Scoff if you like, but these bakers do deserve our occasional sympathy. I mean, sometimes your piping bag runs out of icing, and then what? THEN WHAT??
;)
Oh. I guess that.
And, sure, wiping off a bunch of red icing may have accidentally made Mr. Cookie here look like a blood-soaked serial killer, but let's focus on the important part:
;)
NEW WINDOW DISPLAY!
So at the end of the day you can rest easy, bakers, knowing all your efforts have not been in vain.
;)
And that's no mistake.
(Well, ok, it is, but you know what I mean.)
Thanks to Kori R., James D., Stephanie J., Saara, Renee R., Kathie, Sydnia Y., Laura W., Charisse J., & Dustin A. for the reminder that turnabout is foreplay fare play.
*****
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And from my other blog, Epbot:
Reader Comments (13)
1) Maybe this cake was an ode to Billy Joe.
2) Oh, this must be a witness protection cake.
3) Blue-green algae has washed up on that cake and covered those spots.
4) Looks like roadkill banana.
5) I don't think they exist.
6) It's obvious the baker put this here so Mark could see his reflection - and see how old he's become.
7) To keep the theme consistent, shouldn't the baker have used blue and orange in the writing as well, you know, to match the little splotches?
8) Oh, come on! We know John had the baker do this one especially for you, just to see your reaction. And in true Cake Wreck form, they misspelled your name.
9) Maybe he was going to a Renaissance festival and they wanted him to have a good time.
You ever get the feeling some bakers are just messy kids who never grew up?
So, is Dr. Coplay (I can't be the only one reading that as "Cosplay," right?) showing a steer at the state fair?
Is it weird that I'd kind of love to get a cake like the first one? The others not so much.
IBOUS’s? I don’t think they exist.
The "Icing Blob of unusual size", you know, that big blue blob, actually looks like the profile of a face to me.
Is that "classoy" or "classog?" I can't tell.
As a woman fluent in sarcasm and snark, I absolutely *LOVE* the first one. So much, in fact, that I have devised my own version of the backstory for this masterpiece:
Bonnie bursts through the door of Generic Bakery just as the counter attendant is making her way across the lobby, keys in hand, anxious to flip the OPEN/CLOSED sign and lock the door.
"Good! I'm not too late. Ya gotta help me! My sweet Joe needs a Congratulations cake."
"Ooh, sorry," the attendant says as she schlumps back to the nearly-empty display counter. "We are sold out of cakes. How bout some almost fresh cupcakes? I can moosh em together and dump a vat of whipped buttercream on top for ya. It'll take about 35 seconds, if ya can wait."
Bonnie was desperate. She had just gotten the call for the cake on her way home from hot yoga, and knew time was of the essence. As any good wife knows, the creation known as "Cupcake Cakes" (PTOOIE!) are not the same as cake. So she politely declined, begging for an actual cake. No dice. No cake, either.
"Well, do you have something in the back maybe? Just something colorful and festive and CAKE? Please. This is a really big deal for my Joe."
Popping her gum and sighing petulantly, Meg admitted that all they had left that was an actual CAKE was a birthday cake for little Billy. "Yeah, we got this", pointing over her shoulder to a cake in the case behind her. "Billy's Mom was supposed to pick it up already. I mean, we *are* technically closed already. Ya want it or not?"
"But . . . It says 'Happy 8th Birthday Billy' and I need it to say 'Congratulations Joe!' Can you fix it? And I don't mean smear the green icing all over, and write on top. I want it neat. I want it now." Bonnie was quickly losing her patience with this girl, and Meg could smell it. Or maybe Meg smelled the hot yoga class.
"Fine", Meg said with a near-audible eye roll. "Gimme a sec," as she grabbed the cake from the RESERVED cabinet, and stomped to the back, grumbling all the way.
Two minutes later, Meg brought the cake back and set it on the counter far more gently than she wanted to. "How's this?"
"Really?! Well, at this point I don't have much choice. How much?"
"Twenty six ninety-nine. Plus tax." The look on Bonnie's sweaty, tired face said she didn't much like the price, but there was nothing she could do now.
"Here's $30, keep the change. Don't think I won't be calling Mr. Herbert about your attitude, Missy!"
"Whatever. Bye."
The End
Anything, absolutely anything, that adds more icing to a cake is good. That said, that first cake needs a whole lot more icing on it.
.......@Mindy: Well.....no. I think it's adults who really don't give a #%?!/\!!......heh..heh.
=^~.-^=
I read that second one as "whipped stain". Which totally makes sense.
Oh man lol and that first one looked so nice too.. guess they hoped that red line through it would render all of that invisible to human eyes.
One of the best posts in recent memory! Thankfully I wasn't drinking coffee when I started reading :)