Romancing The Scone
August 15, 2018 It's National Resurrect Romance Week, minions, and as a "humor" blogger on the internet I am of course an expert on this subject.
Also John and I are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this month, and we're both still alive, so... Yeah. EXPERT.
I've graciously decided to share some of romance secrets with y'all, so let's start with a few tips:
;)
Heyoooooooooooooh like you were expecting anything else.
Tip The First: Let your SO poop in private.
;)
Trust me, you don't want to be the turkey in this situation. INSTANT MOOD KILLER.
Tip #2:
Build your relationship on a foundation of terrible, often nonsensical puns:
;)
Bee-leaf me on the nonsensical part. The more confused your SO is, the more turned on they'll be.
Tip C:
I'm not saying get them drunk.
I'm typing it.
;)
Never underestimate the power of Tip C.
4)
Send the kids back to school. Granted, we don't have kids, but this one is apparently so effective even the bakers are hinting around at it:
;)
5) Practice your sexy face:
;)
6) Then maybe try a little flexing:
;)
Just keep in mind flexing doesn't look great from every angle:
;)
7) And finally, remember, romance isn't just about setting the mood or saying the right things or getting drunk and dancing the perfect seductive polka. No, there are other, healthy alternatives:
;)
"Awwww yeah. Shut the door, sweetie; and bring the whole dozen."
Thanks to Sarah L., Johnnie L., Jen D., Chris J., Katie G., Noah G., Stephanie & Rejean, Carolyn C., & Amy K. for keeping love alive.
*****
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Reader Comments (16)
What a great idea to put a furry toy on a Valentine cookie!
John, (thoJ), I'm not a shrink. I don't even play one on TV. But after reading this post by Jen, I have to say that, as the Animaniacs said often, she may need to see a P-sychiatrist. I'm not saying she's crazy, but as Inspector Clouseau once said, "She's a little now-now!" Please get her help. It appears she is losing it. I think she might have seen one strange cake too many and it has pushed her over the edge. Let us hope and pray that all is not lost. (Although I suppose it's entirely possible she's always been this way. In that case, you should get a medal).
Ah, "flexing" noodly appendages with no visible biceps. On a Fry Kid, no less.
Congrats on 20 years together from a couple that's been together for nearly 24!
Ahehehehehe
Congratulations on your 20th Anniversary, Jen and John!
Well!
Happy anyworsery you two kids!!
You still both look like newlies!
=^~.-^=
What is with that Spongebob cake topper? It's plastic, so it's not a one-off baker error; yet I can't see that expression as anything other than "pooping".
August must be the magic month in which to get married. My sister is celebrating her 48th anniversary, my son is celebrating his 4th and my husband and I are celebrating our 44th wedding anniversary and we were all married in August.
Happy 20th Anniversary, Jen & John. You two deserve all the best.
I'm with Wilma: who puts a plush toy on a cookie?
The carrot wangs are great. A nice change from the usual poo wangs.
So, uh, are you getting a cake to celebrate? ;)
Happy anniversary to you and John! 🎂
Awww, you should have switched the first two tips. Then the second one could have been a joke about #2 / pooping.
I am laughing so hard I am crying. Oh man I now cannot wait to see Halloween cakes lol.
Spongepoop Squarepants!
#5...I get that it's *supposed* to be an Easter Bunny but I saw a crazy-ninja-praying-mantis-cat...thing. Oy...