Wrecky Exhibitionists
May 3, 2018 Sometimes I think of wrecks not as really, really bad cakes, but really, really bad art.
And to make them seem more arty (and to amuse myself, because let's be honest, that's a priority) I'll give them hoity-toity art names, like:
"Blanket Of White Silence, Being Loudly Smothered"
;)
Or
"Lobster Steroids."
;)
"Two Young Black Birds Mustache You A Question"
;)
"Ode To An Airbrush Tip That Wasn't Screwed On Tight"
;)
"High Five, Velveeta!"
;)
"An Early Midsummer's Morn Shattered By A Bird Puking"
;)
And lastly:
"Easter Bunny, Deconstructed"
;)
I hope this brings you a whole new appreciation for your local wreckerARTers, minions.
Thanks to Jennifer V., Anne L., Stephanie B., De C., Michael R., Samantha S., & Stephanie G. for helping these wrecks look even more sketchy.
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Reader Comments (25)
Sadly, with what passes for art these days, all of these would probably be right at home in a gallery of modern art.
But since we're going for catchy titles for these, here goes:
1) Name that Slice
2) Arnold Mutates on a Kelp Cupcake Diet
3) Two Turds in a Meadow
4) The Paleontologist's Dream Find
5) Gambling at the Volcano Is Dicey
6) An Ode to Smog by the Bluebird of Sadness
7) Staypuff, the Magic Melting Dragon
Well to be fair, some modern art is not that much better than these cakes...
The bad airbrush one looks like some of the European cave art. I suggest an alternative title of "Neanderthal Dreams."
I love the green cupcake next to the lobster "cake."
"I love the green cupcake next to the lobster "cake.""
Seaweed...
The Easter Bunny cake does have sufficient frosting-to-cake ratio, I'll give it that much.
Some store asked $16.95 for the puking bird cake! Why? How? Are they blind? Inquiring minds want to know!
I believe that's Larry the Lobster without his swim trunks ! (SpongeBob)
In the first picture, is that a real hand and arm in the background?
I usually can work out what they were INTENDED to be, but on the Velveeta one, I got nothing. My best guess is an upside-down foaming blue glass on a napkin...maybe? Anybody else?
OK. Inquiring minds want to know - is that Velveeta cake some sort if logo, school symbol (well, that's a logo, too, I guess.), or what have you?
The lobster one...wow. All I could see was a sunburned Hulk. So maybe it could be “Huuulk...Sunburned”.
The airbrush one...I’m feeling “The Dementors Are Coming”. Or “Just The Tip”.
Does anyone else see a nuclear reactor meltdown in "High Five Velveeta"?
All I can say is, how, why, what, and wow.
Missed opportunity: "Wreckhibitionists," or "Wrexhibitionists."
Enchanted by 3 evil jellyfish (cake #4), and made to eat a poison cookie cake (#5) (damn chocolate allergy), Princess Albino Rhino (#7) slept for a hundred years in her
glassplastic prison. Then one day, Prince Pinchy (#2), travelling incognito (#3) on his quest to find a magical Pokemon gym, took a detour to avoid the Barf Bird's song (#6). Seeing Princess Albino Rhino, he chanted a magic phrase (#1) since he couldn't get the container open to kiss her. She awoke, they fell in love and lived happily ever after, far from the Land of Overpriced Cakes.The velveeta cake looks like it is upside down. It could be a foamy drink in a purple glass on a polka dotted napkin? Or maybe it looksthat way because UI have had way to much Diet Coke today.
Anyone else think the bird is vaping?
Velveeta = graduation cake gone horribly wrong? Unless it's perhaps UW-Madison. You know, where the Cheeseheads are.
Airbrush - Ooh, Bonnie, good call on the Dementors. I was thinking the Grim Reaper.
To be clear, I thought that the green cupcake next to the lobster was supposed to be the pasty green gunk inside a lobster. Half of people swear that this is the best part of a lobster, whereas the other half, the ones who are not blind or insane, know that it is disgusting. If you've never cracked open a lobster yourself, the green gunk looks exactly like that icing does. I just looked it up, and according to wikipedia it is called tomalley and it fulfills the function of the liver and the pancreas. Green pancreatic goo - sounds delicious, no?
Oh man that lobster on steroids has me laughing so hard. Will never see a lobster in quite the same way ever again lol.
#4 isn"t "Cake of Forgotten Dreams?" Or maybe "Cake of Forgotten Ice Creams"?
And at least Larry the Steroidal Crustacean isn't having 'roid rage. That's a happy face if ever I saw one.
What do you mean, "that's not his face"?
The first cake has several candles, but one of them is a '1' candle. The hand and arm on the edge of the picture could belong to a 1-year-old. Maybe he has 23 names, as all his relatives wanted to be honoured? Or they each wanted their name on a slice? I hope they whisked the cake away as soon as the picture was taken, as a 1-year-old can move fast when there's something you don't want him to touch.
I'm wondering if the "Velveeta" might be someone's sad, very confused attempt at a mortar board... you know, the ridiculous hat that you wear at graduation. And I do NOT want to know what bakery school they graduated from... Although I'm a bit jealous that one of their school colors contains polka dots.
I thought steroids made a male's bits shrivel. Maybe he's swollen?
The airbrush title reminded me of the Grinch "maybe his head wasn't screwed on just right". It would be funny if you did a Christmas wrecky post loosely mimicking the Grinch description part.