The Search for the World's Most Disturbing Shower Cake ENDS HERE
May 2, 2018 You know how I'm always telling you baby butt cakes could be so much worse?
Things are about to get so much worse.
Heads up!
Wow. This is so stinkin' sexy, I almost didn't even notice the outie belly button.
Because fetus cookies are SO last year:
Goes great with mother's milk.
And lots of screaming.
Proving once again that bakers are taking posts on this blog as inspiration:
I'm torn (ha! Ew.) between asking what that gray pouch thing hanging out is and desperately, desperately, not wanting to know. In fact, know what? Don't tell me. I'm never having kids, so knowing what the inner lining's poop chute or whatever looks like is just one of those things I never need to know. Seriously. Leave me to my blissful ignorance.
And finally, look. I realize that a lot of talent was required to make some of these wrecks - I do! However, no amount of talent will ever make any part of this look yummy to me:
In fact, you could say the amount of talent a baker has when making a placenta has an inverse reaction to how much I want to eat said placenta.
Or, in other words:
SWEET BETTY CROCKER I AM NEVER EATING AGAIN.
Thanks to Matt R., Sarah M., Carl G., & Heather A. for today's gut-busters. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to skip lunch.
*****
Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.
And from my other blog, Epbot:
Reader Comments (24)
I'm not sure if it's just my screen, but the baby in the last cake has a decidedly greenish tinge.
That's almost as off-putting as the *hurk* placenta.
Cake 1: I couldn't get past the name spelling. The cake is as tacky as said name.
Cake 2: Hurk. Red with gray fetuses, yum!
Cake 3: That is funny. Bonus for the umbilical cord dangling off to the side. My favorite of the lot.
Last one: It might have been done for fellows/residents/med students finishing up their OB/GYN rotation party. The newborn looks jaundice as hell, but mad props to the maker. I might have leaned more to cartoony for the newborn than jaundice/half dead. I doubt this was for a real baby shower.
Those cookie fetuses look like they were designed by Edward Gorey
Don't know who needs more 'help' the person who ordered them, or the baker. So, back in my Medic class days, during the childbirth portion, our Instructor shared a story of one of his emergency calls where he delivered a healthy baby girl. Gave the mom the baby and told her "We have to deliver the Placenta now, and then we go to the hospital". Mom said "Placenta, sounds like a pretty name for my baby girl, I want to call her Placentia (I guess the 'ia' on the end made it even sweeter to the mom?" To which he (the Paramedic, shuddered silently while he delivered the Placenta and placed it in a sterile bag (why? because it must all go to the hospital so the docs can make sure we got all of it). He then showed the mom what she was going to name her daughter after. She changed her mind. Can't make this stuff up.
Yum, a baby cake to eat! Everybody else chooses now to ***suddenly*** think cakes really are what they happen to be cut into the shape of? That's great, more cake for me then! >-p
Why would ANYONE want to eat a cake that could be a pathology specimen?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
They're creepy and they're kooky,
Mysteriously spooky,
They're altogether pukey!
The baby shower cakes.
It's not like a museum,
We don't really want to see 'em.
We really want to scre-am!
The baby shower cakes.
Together we should all run,
These cakes, they are not so fun,
Someone should turn a gun on,
These baby shower cakes.
Uh, that last one might not be as bad as it looks, depending on where it is made. In Norwegian the placenta is literally called "morkake": "mother's cake". Yeah, chew on that.
@Cookiemama059: Placentia is a city in southern California. The name is derived from Latin for "pleasant place to live". This still doesn't make it a nice name for a baby.
Placentia is a city here in So. Cal. I've always thought it a pretty but yet weird name choice.
Maybe it's just having dealt with pig fetuses, but I think that last one looks more like it's set up for dissection. "Hmm, this kid was stillborn, so we are going to check for causes..."
And "ready or not" looks more like it's getting ready to deliver an alien chestburster... Hmm, Chestburster...now THERE's a baby shower cake!
OMFG.. some things are just NOT meant to be cake.. or seen . WHO really thought this was a good idea ? Honestly. I'm off red velvet cake for a long time....
Did anyone notice how ENORMOUS the hand in cake #3 is - especially compared to the tiny little leg (or worm - it may be a very large worm) that is coming out of there?!
I have a theory: Some people (myself included) can see a lot of gross things and not lose their appetite -- so when they want a whole cake to themselves, they order one like this.
Jilara, it does look stillborn, doesn't it? No matter, as long as the blanket and the accessories are made of pure icing it's all good! p-8
I can't decide if baby #1 is coming out of its mother's breast or buttock - somebody took a wrong turn.
I’m sorry but that last one is just so wrong. The artist went through a clear amount to detail on what a backtable looks like. Oh great, that’s what someone wants to see. But the horror is that the person but the baby there as if the baby is being dissected. Don’t do that! I’m an OR scrub nurse. We don’t put the baby on the backtable, that’s we’re the instruments go. I know my sensibilities are offended here and others may not see it, but it’s horrific to ANY person who works in a OR.
Before I took a closer look, my brain went "IT'S COMING OUT THE NIPPLE!!!" for the first cake.
Reality: Still isn't better.
#2: Animal crackers gone way, way wrong.
And, that last one, nobody ever said, "Forceps! Mmm!" Like…I'll just have a bit of blanket, thank you.
Is is just me or does that last (nauseating) one look vaguely like Vladamir Putin? The baby's face that is. Vaguely.
Cake #3...I think we're looking at a C-Section ma'am! (I wonder where the head is supposed to be?)
My husband looked at that placenta and said, "You can be Lisa's."
That last one brings to mind a comment made by Sister Wendy as she discussed a rather poorly-done Madonna and Child... "Is that a *dead* baby?!?"
Oh thank gosh I am not having kids or I would probably end up with one of these cakes.. nooooooooooo lol.
I think some of the Raspberry Puree escaped from the post about the Baker-Formerly-Known-As-Prince. I have this weird mental picture of the person who ordered the last cake walking around the shower, protesting, "But you guys, it's PERFECTLY NATURAL and a BEAUTIFUL PART of LIFE!"