Infantile Humor
April 16, 2018 [Tinkling bell]
[very polite Englishman] "Yes, I'd like to order a baby shower cake, if I might. Something perhaps a bit creepy. Not fond of the mother, you see."
[very polite English salesman] "Yes, of course, of course... Might I suggest our Face of Birth cake?"
;)
"Hm, yes, it is quite creepy, but I was thinking something a bit more, if that's not too much trouble?"
"Not at all, sir. Perhaps this will be more to your liking?"
;)
"Oh, that is unsettling... but could we remove the body?"
"Say no more. I've just the thing:"
;)
"Yes, yes, I can see how that might send a bit of a shiver. Could we maybe bury the baby IN the cake, though? Perhaps add a crustacean?"
"Ahh, the old 'crustacean on half a newborn!' That's my specialty, sir, and it's quite creepy - if I do say so myself."
;)
"You know, I truly appreciate your effort, my good man, but I think we've missed the mark. I tell you what: just make something vaguely baby shaped and slap it on the ugliest cake you can find. Think we could do that?"
"Of course, sir, and may I compliment you on your excellent sense of humor? I shall have it post haste."
;)
Thanks to Britani, Valentina V., Alexia O., Alison P., & Zahirah for the ruddy good time.
*****
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Reader Comments (22)
Well, I'd say they hit the mark with that last one. Yeesh! What a HORRIBLE cake! It looks as if it's been sitting in a shop window for about five years.
Maybe it's just me but I don't see anything creepy about cake #1.
Ooooo. Nice touch on the last one. Is that spit-up pablum for icing?
I totally read this in the voice of John Cleese and Michael Palin. "Not fond of the mother, you see." (Gigglesnort.)
The sad part is that the lobster cake is actually pretty well done...you just need an occasion where that would be appropriate...
Love the dialogue today!
So the bottle, the rattler and the shoes on the last cake are flotsam or something? They look to be well done so I guess that's the silver lining. lol
But, new baby shower/arrival cakes need to be thought up asap. These are almost abysmal.
That last one looks as if it's on rice rather than cake. No matter which, though, terrible execution of a cake.
Jamming baby parts
in funereal icing --
It's just to die for!
Cake 1 is really well done! The baby just came out of a vise. It's used to the feeling!
Cakes 2 & 3 look like babies in caskets. That can't be the intention, right? Right?
Cutting into that first one would be... a good time for raspberry jam filling!
I'm hearing Sebastian singing
"Under the seat,
Under the seat,
Darling it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me"
I've always heard that lobsters love to chop off baby toes.
The last one looks like vomited up rice krispie treats.
I lost it at "Something perhaps a bit creepy. Not fond of the mother, you see." I watch a ton of British tv and I swear this was a real episode I saw somewhere. The squiggles on the foil was a nice touch on the last one; well played!
Oh those cakes have me laughing so hard. Wow wreckerators just.. wow lol.
Great text, I can hear Cleese and Chapman!
It made me think of the Monty Python Undertakers sketch. Legendarily tasteless. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Undertakers_sketch
On that last one, the decorations are mis-matched and somewhat vague; "And here are Baby's gigantic shoes, and here is his ukelele and his banjo, for when he goes off to clown college...See how well we know you?"
Personally, I think the first cake would be lovely SANS baby-head.
Cake #1 has been retrieved from under a truck. Cake #3 - did someone really charge for that?
I'm pretty sure that the rice/cereal-looking stuff on the last cake is actually a knitted baby bonnet. I inherited something like it, quite old, and the fabric includes all those little pearls. Definitely NOT edible. If I'm right, a baby head might lurk in the dark under that upper layer.
“Perhaps add a crustacean?” just cracked me up!
Was the lobster one for a forceps delivery maybe?