Be Our Guest
March 20, 2018 Cakes so full of grime
;)
Possibly diseased
;)
Oozing from both ends!
;)
These could kill your friends...
Unexpectedly.
Just a little mange
;)
Y'all come for the feast!
;)
What’s that over there?
;)
Dirty underwear?
Who would pay for these?
Everyone’s the same
;)
Spongebob in disguuuuise!
We should tell the store
;)
Sometimes less is more
Those cows hurt MY EYES.
These cakes are a crime
;)
Misery prolonged
;)
*
Sticky, green and strange!
;)
Makes you feel deranged
These are just so wrong.
Certainly this one
;)
Has infected yeast
Festering, with slime
;)
These cakes are a crime
Who would pay for these?
Festering, with slime
;)
These cakes are a crime
Who would pay.... for theeese?
(Off to the Dumpster with you now, cakes. It’s past your sell time.)
;)
Thanks to Chloe, Louise F., Megan P., Anony M., Eric P., Pete & Erika , Anna S., Tiffany S., Ashlee M., Joanna B., Hannah C., Chani, & Mona S., who recommend skipping the gray stuff this time.
*Made by the awesome Jennifer Lewis of The Connoisseurs. Check out the making of here.
*****
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And from my other blog, Epbot:
Reader Comments (21)
What fantastic DIET CAKES: One look at them, and you'll never eat cake again… or anything else until your stomach stops heaving.
(That first one must have come from the abandoned bakery where the Micky Mouse /airplane cake came from yesterday.)
You may have outdone yourself, Sharyn.......
Pardon me, while ...well, I must go.....
Really.
=^~.-^=
*Vomit*
Sharyn, that was a beauty of a parody to go along with all these beastly cakes.
1) Looks like the bees were overzealous in their pollinating.
2) & 3) If you shook these cakes up, would that constitute a bowel movement?
4) & 5) Penicillin, anyone?
6) Severe case of diarrhea?
7) So are these cupcakes or cheeseburgers?
8) These are cows? I think someone steered us wrong and that's no bull.
9) The monkeys can now fling themselves at us.
10) Eggs? Peas? Poos? You decide.
11) Come on, baker. A cake like this just makes you look like a dumb asp.
12) "Mr. Baker, where do you keep your most awful cakes?" "Ovary there, in the adjacent womb".
13) The open heart surgery didn't go so well.
14) "Medusa, your cake is ready".
15) No copyright infringement here. The Disney lawyers were laughing too hard at this one to press charges.
It takes a lot to put me off cake and frosting, I often look at wrecks on these pages and think "I'd still eat that". So it's amazing to see how many could totally turn off my appetite. Even the very well-made fish...it's just TOO realistic!
While the cakes are disgusting, wonderful alternate lyrics, as always Sharyn!
Pretty sure the "dirty underwear" one is supposed to be(!) the UT longhorns logo. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_Longhorns
that is the absolute WORST . Vile. and Oh dear god. I can't even believe that anyone would think ANY of them are a good idea. Gag me with a spoon.
Or not.
Son-of-a-NUTCRACKER these are the goriest and most ghoulish cakes I've ever seen. Is it Halloween in March? is this what it's meant by March Madness now??! {SHIVER!}
Lol... I'm glad I didn't just eat lunch. These are all sorts of ewww. I know the last one is suspose to be Belle, but I'm seeing Janice from Friends and hearing her laugh.
That white cake with the brown speckles looks as if it might be one of those "stare at this for ten seconds and then close your eyes" deals. I tried at. i got nuthin'.
Hurk
I have never wanted to vomit looking at your website until today. Faithful reader for years but you have out done your self.
The cakes are a new low, but your lyrical "tribute" is sublime! You've still got it!
Oh those poor customers that attempted to eat these cakes. Or just took pictures and ran away either way ewww lol.
When I first looked at "Grillin Time", I thought the T-bone steak was a uterus with an IUD in it! Wasn't sure what to make of the big flat snails next to it.
I would bet on the catfish cake being deliberate. It was just too well made with too much artistry. The mystery, I guess, is why anyone would spend money on commissioning a cake like that, but I think that had to be exactly how it was supposed to look.
I think the last one is Beauty by Patrick Nagel. Remember Duran Durans Rio album cover?
"Decorate" =/= "Bleed all over" a cake. *Hurk* for me too.
I cannot stop singing the new lyrics. When I catch myself singing, I burst out laughing. I want to congratulate you on some of the most unforgettable lyrics of all time. You are so extremely talented. Keep up the good work. BTW those cakes are nightmares.
As an English teacher, I am always impressed with your "revised" lyrics and how perfect they are in terms of rhythm and meter and rhyme. I don't think you've ever been off, which means I get to sing them really loud with confidence when I show these posts to my classes (only the kid-friendly ones, of course!). I have students from previous years who still talk about how much they loved CakeWrecks in my class.
I figure every one of these wrecks tells a story; and it's even better when you string them together to create a new one. That's what literature is all about, right? ;)