Window Pains

So, you're opening a bakery. You've watched too much Cake Boss, opened a few dozen credit card accounts, and "sampled" enough cupcakes to confidently differentiate between "ganache" and "monkey poo."

What next?

The window display, of course!

This is your place to shine, aspiring baker! Show the people what you can really do!

Ah.

I see you're of the "writing on Styrofoam rounds with a Sharpie" skill set.

We can work with that.

After all, the most important thing is getting customers through the door - even if it is only to ask, "Dear God, what IS that THING?!"

It's a pacifier. You know, a cake for suckers?

Now, a good window display should appeal to both kids and kids at heart. Remember, cakes are all about fun! And color! And post-apocalyptic death tableaus!

Just think of all the gas-mask party favors you could make. Ooh, and festive radioactive warning streamers! Glowing fruit punch? Mushroom cloud side-cakes? Really, the possibilities are endless.

Or, if you're limited on space, you could always kill two birds with one horrendously disturbing Barbie cake:

Hey, how do you think Barbie paid for all those different careers, kids?

Well, bakers, however you choose to design your displays, just be sure they communicate friendliness, poise, and professionalism.

And also a strong grasp on the spelling of "ho bag":

Because, really, nothing is worse than a misspelled "ho bag" on your cookie cake.

Thanks to Amber P., Bianca S., Lauren C., Lauren R., Betsy R., & Dana F., who wonder if perhaps this showed up on C.M.'s performance review.

*****

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Comments

[Trista]

Love 'The Princess Bride' shout-out.

[Lady Anne]

That third cake looks as if it's been in the window far, far too long!

[sendingtheclowns]

I don't think that the cement -shoes gray, and the play doh accents were quite enough.....BUT, old Barbs must be getting hot in there, wouldn't you think?
=^-.-^=

[Debra Crosby]

Okay, I'm an idiot. What in bloody hell is a Ho Bag?!?!?

[Nancy]

I'm so disappointed. I've never gotten a "ho bag" cake. Or oversized cookie. I think everyone should get one of those at least once in life. Sigh!

[Nicole]

What...uh...what are Mickey and Pluto (?) doing on that post-apocalyptic tableaux cake?? It looks like they either wiped out while water skiing or hang-gliding or they are involved in some post-apocalyptic death ritual. Other options are too disturbing to ponder.

[Arlene Marie]

Lol I wonder how the person who got the hobag cookie reacted. I really am laughing so hard just at what on earth they could be thinking.

[Jilara]

I think the first photo is advertising inspirational garden rocks (I hope). And from what I can see of the rock behind "Wekome Home" I think it says "Happy Semitism?"
Honestly, I thought the pacifier was a Dali-esque melted sombrero!