Write 'Em, Cowboys!
March 2, 2018 Hey guys, it's time again for our Annual Texas Cowboy Poetry post!
(My apologies in advance to Texas, cowboys, and poetry in general.)
Ahem hem hem.
swirling poo vortex
moistly encircles my horse
;)
keep it off the boots.
******
There once was a rodeo clown
The best of the whole bunch, hands down.
;)
A real Texas Star
;)
He's sure to go far
;)
If he'd just stop horsing aroun'.
*****
Dangle the Dog's show had to close
The problem? Right under his nose.
Since it's hard to erase
the things on his face...
;)
Now he just does puppet shows.
****
Kill.
Kill, kill, kill
KILL!
Killllllllllll....
;)
Kill kill.
*********
And for our grand finale, we'd like you to know that John wrote the next one. That's right, JOHN DID IT. So it's not my or Sharyn's fault. We're just saying.
Take it away, John!
Once upon a morning dreary, while I sat there, drinking beery,
Thinkin' 'bout this girl I'd ogled at the game the night before.
How we went back to her trailer, thinkin' I was gonna... uh, regale her
Shame she fell into the baler, just below the hayloft door.
"Geez Louise!" I screamed in terror as her bits lay on the floor.
"Now she's boobs... and nothing more!"
;)
Thanks to Jodee R., Erica D., Tug T., Samantha R., Kristen, Emily S., & Willow M. for helping John get that off his chest.
*****
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Reader Comments (28)
I am so happy you are giving us a chance to see these again. Many I missed the first time (I don't know how). Thank you, thank you, thank you!
1) Maybe that stuff encircling the horse is an alien beast and it hasn't yet digested the horse. It already got the cowboy. Sucked him right out of his boots.
2) Is this where Stephen King got his inspiration for "IT"?
3) It doesn't even have a face, and yet that star looks like it feels sad. Maybe that's why it's blue.
4) Let's see - one clown in a race car on a dirt road at a wooden bridge. What is this, the back woods Grand Prix? Then another clown who ought to be on America's Got Talent for his contortionist skills. And the final clown is drowning in the river and the other two aren't paying any attention.
5) This begs the question - did this dog have Superglue on his nose when he went to sniff the other dog's butt? How else do you explain that facial condition?
6) Oh, oh! Some kid crossed the Mafia boss.
7) John, John, John. Where is your mind, you bad boy? In keeping with the Western theme here, it is obvious that these are maracas. (They just lost their handles. And they're painted oddly).
I guess that last one is what's called; Poe-tree
These raise many questions, like, what is going on in the 4th one? It seems like it should be a story, stuff is happening, but...what? And the horse head...did the wreckorator think that horses ribs extend up their necks? That last one though is pretty self explanatory, thanks John!
John (thoj), I love you.
That was a really, really poor boob job.
Got no pony
Got no neck
Kill the cowboy
What the heck
C-I-L the cowboy.
With apologies to the Not Ready for Prime Time Players.
These horses are all a bunch of neigh-sayers.
Priceless, John! I'm weak and weary from laughing!
The last cake was funny but the poem was hilarious.
John made me spit at my computer screen.
John wins!
And you posted this on Texas Independence Day. Thank you for the extra special celebratoin.
"In addition to having a textured surface, these anatomically-shaped implants are filled with a more cohesive gel."
Actual article at NIH
🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂
There are no words! Kudos, however, to Mike's observations!
😆
MaryO1230
@Mike:
Ha!!!Yes! "Kartoum".... (what a beauty...until...the screaming began....)
=^-.-^=
Dear John,
THAT WAS AWSOME!
sincerely,
Steve
Most of these belong in the basement of the Alamo.
Except for John's poem. I didn't realize Poe was from Texas.
That Dallas Cowboys cake is sad, sad, sad...
John's work takes the cake!
The horses head reminds me of The Godfather for reasons I won't say here lol. Not a cake I would want to eat that's for sure.
I think Edgar Allan Poe just rolled over in his grave... but personally, I LOVED John's poem!!
Those are not breasts. They are well-dressed billiard balls.
John, love it! Please, please, PLEASE grace us with more of your Poe-e-tree!
6) That horse???? head look way more like a Jurassic Park Velociraptor. Now we just need to serve it with some jello.
"I'm confused. Was it baked by a man? 'Cos, well, men know boobs. Or by a woman? 'Cos, well, women know boobs too."
"They've got the boobs right - it's the rest of it that's wrong."
"Baked by a man."
5 - That's Jasper from the Chuck E. Cheese band. The likeness is actually pretty good.
And John (tHoJ)'s parody shall be bested---Nevermore!!
The horse head is no horse. That is thestral from Harry Potters.