This Post Did Not Go The Way I Expected, But Now I'm Into It

It's Bat Appreciation Month, for obvious reasons (helloooo, month after Michael Keaton's birthday!), so today we're going to celebrate....
Star Wars!
"Come to the dark side, we have sh*tty lightsabers."
And we're also celebrating Proper Proportions!
Wooohoo!
"It's not the size, it's how you... oh. On second thought, in this case? It's the size."
Not to mention just getting out there and having a good time!
Hehehehehehehehe.
(Like that ball placement wasn't intentional, bakers. COME ON.)
Quick shout out to everyone just now realizing these cakes are supposed to be baseball bats, and that's what the heck I'm talking about.
'SUP.
Hang on, I'm getting a note from John here...
OHHHH it's supposed to be Halloween bats?
I can do that.
One black butterfly, comin' up!
See, once you start thinking of bats as those old Glo Worm dolls from the 80s with wings, this totally makes sense.
Thanks to Jessica L., Angela D., Katy H., & Sarah S. for making me wonder what a DC reboot of Glo Worm would look like. I bet he'd be a gritty crime-fighter with mechanical wings, and the movie tagline would be "Glo Worm Returns: LIGHTS OUT, BAD GUYS" and before every fight he'd yell, "IT'S GLO TIME!" while his sidekick Barry Beetle just rolls his eyes at the camera, Jim-from-The-Office-style.
Yeah, thanks for that, Sarah.
*****
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And from my other blog, Epbot:
Reader Comments (7)
1) That baseball's stitches are so large that it must belong to Frankenstein. And to quote Igor, "He would have an enormous..." Well, never mind.
2) And this is what happens when you make Frankenstein mad. He rips your leg off and leaves it laying in the street.
3) Oh, come now! This is just a rocket ship blasting past the moon. (Although that doesn't explain what the "P" stands for. And...cue music).
4) That's Tick's sidekick. He decided the all white costume just didn't look tough enough.
*insert Viagra joke*
I recall that early CW cake with a well-made hat and ball but a phallic pink bat.
Do bakers not get enough sex? Or are they just pervs? Any long object looks like a penis. Ghosts & balloons look like sperm. Keep 'em coming I say! Gives us lots of laughs.
I want to see that movie!
In the first and third cakes, I see the, um, Freudian imagery, but when I look at the second cake, I keep seeing a chicken drumstick.
Wow lmao. I cannot believe they honestly think a baseball bat looks like that. Oh wreckerators you are killing me here lol.