Brides Tell All!
January 24, 2018 Ah, wedding wrecks. Like a good movie, they can make you laugh, they can make you cry, and sometimes, they can make you run screaming for small claims court.
So.
Bride-to-be Beverly ordered this wedding cake from her bakery's catalog:
;)
She writes,
"I asked if it was possible to do a dark blue layer as well, and I was assured it was possible and it would look fine."
See, there's your first red flag, Bev. Dark blue and moss green will never look fine together, and anyone who tells you otherwise IS LYING. Or possibly color blind.
"My mom went to pick up the cake and threw a fit. Granted, she didn’t know what it was supposed to look like but she assures me it was much worse, so she made them redo it."
Ah, so they fixed it? Hey, good for them!
Wait, you said "redo," not "fix," didn't you? Ah. Still, how bad could it be?
;)
Why do I even ask anymore.
I mean, really.
...
Next up, Jamie writes:
"I gave our bakery this picture with instructions that I wanted our cake to look just like the top tier - smooth sides, our monogram, and instead of the piping on the bottom, a simple purple ribbon."
;)
That may be the easiest request I've ever heard. Seriously. There's no way a pro baker could mess that up.
Literally, no way.
Literally.
;)
NO WAY.
...
And finally, Carolyn writes:
"Basically, I just wanted the top 3 layers like the cake below in white, with red ribbons and a matching red sash. The flowers were going to be white, with a red and yellow one randomly placed."
;)
Right. Three white layers, red ribbon, and some red and yellow flowers.
;)
NILED IT.
(You know, like the River Nile? 'Cuz it's all flowing down the cake? Yes? No?)
(Hey, if you don't think that's funny then YOU'RE IN DENIAL.)
(Eh? EH??)
Thanks to Beverly, Jamie, & Carolyn's cake for crying us a river.
*****
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Reader Comments (16)
Honestly, these cakes do NOT look as if they were made by anybody who would call themselves professional. 'm willing so swear they were made by Aunt Tillie, in her kitchen, using a book she got from the good folks at Wilton. I'd sue in a heartbeat.
These posts always make me grateful for my beautiful cake made by my sister-in-law (not a professional). It's just hard to understand how such simple designs could turn out that badly!
Oh those poor brides XD XD XD XD XD XD
Okay, so the desired cakes look to be in the neighborhood of $300.00 to $1000.00 and maybe more.
So, any idea how much they're paying for these THINGS?
I hope they at the very least taste good.
You’re in de-Nile! Yes, I get it. Now I want to see the backside of water!
What?!?!? Ok, I do do cakes in my kitchen, and they never look this bad! What were these people thinking?!?!? I love that the first cake came out of the bakery/baker’s own catalog! I think people forget that there is a difference between baker and decorator. Just because you can bake a cake doesn’t mean you should decorate it. Oh well, at least they’re good for a laugh... eventually... I hope.
I was wondering where the “ombré” instruction went on that last cake and then I realized that it’s not ombré, that’s the cake showing through the icing! Either that or they iced over the red ribbon on the cake. I’m not sure what would be worse. Although, if they asked for light icing (because they’re monsters that don’t like icing) then they’re not going to be impressed with the super thick layers of filling. Let’s just guess that the bride and groom weren’t super impressed either way.
And a bonus Jungle Cruise reference!! You rock, Jen. :)
Hmmm. Not sure, but I think the last one COULD have "appeared" a "little" less "busy" had it not had the black and white shower curtain behind it....
But then again, there's the incident of the spilled salad....("Guys.!WHAT happened in here???")
=^o.O^=
The ones who look at elaborate sugar work and say confidently, "Yep, I can duplicate that in buttercream." Why.
I wish I could say I can't believe these were made by pprofessionals. However, as a cake decorator for years in a "good" retail bakery, this is why we started having to make all prospective decorators work stage shifts, no matter how much verifiable experience the applicant has. The process always was you'd offer them literally every decorating tool other than custom sugarwork, give them a quarter sheet or a double round and tell them to make you whatever they wanted. More than half the time I would want to stop them 10-15 minutes in and just be like, "So your whole portfolio is fakes off the internet, isn't it?" I had one decorator come in, who had passed employment verification as having been not only a decorator but "the head decorator" at another bakery come in, and emphasized that this was a demonstration of skill and that we were only looking for other decorators who could do wedding cakes. I set her up to work and she got me 30 minutes later to say she was done. She had put primary colored scrolling that was very sloppy around the top and bottom, and threw sprinkles on top.
With the wedding wrecks, I always have to wonder if the couple even asked to see a sample of the bakery's work because it's usually so shoddy. It's not just that they missed the mark on what the couple wanted, but that the quality looks like something a person with zero skill or experience would make. I have literally taken classes with home bakers who displayed more piping skills than the cakes shown in this post. Do people not see samples? Do decorators show them fake images? I can't make heads nor tails of it.
These are just so appalling. Cake wrecks is usually such a source of joy, but I have to say the wedding wrecks make me feel so sorry for these couples. Dang.
Oh those poor brides. Please tell me they got their money back on these things. Not even close to the pictures sheesh.
On that first one: why does the bakery even have that cake in their catalog if they can't reproduce it?
UGH!
WTH?
Bonus points for trying to ice a still warm cake on that last wreck.
There have been flower wrecks, but that some looks like some toss kitchen scraps on that last wreckage.
Ian, my bakery owner from does the exact same thing. Biggest frauds are people claiming they do sugar work. They'll show cakes with beautiful pulled toppers etc, and 10 minutes into the process, she knows this is BS.
Lucky we have a community college near by, and she uses them to fill new workers. They have a culinary arts program. For her, the trade off to get a new graduate up to speed is worth not spending weeks dealing with idiots who think they earned they the Meilleurs Ouvriers de France.