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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jan172018

Lean On Me

Everybody clap your hands and sway a little, k?

 

Some guys and their wives
See only shame
See only sorrrrrow

 

But if they are wise
they know that wrecks
Are so much more, oh!

 

Lean on me
When you're stacked wrong!

 

And I'll be your end
I'll mock you WITH this song

 

For
It won't be lo-oo-ong
Until gravity

Makes sure that you're cleeean gone!

 

Please, don't tell the bride
If it's a wreck, it needs no intro

 

For
no one can tell; maybe she'll need
something sweet to throw!

 

Lean on me!
When you're stacked wrong

And I'll be your end
I'll mock you WITH this song

 

For
It won't be long
Until gravity

Makes sure that you're clean gone!

 

You just call on your mother
When you need a hand

These cakes need somebody to leeeean on!

 

I just might have a Pisa
That we never planned

These cakes need somebody to leeean on!

 

Just faaaalll free!
(If you need to end)
Faaaaallll free
Oh, wreck it, now!

Faa-AAA-aalll
free-ee-eeeeee!!

 

Thanks to Steve, Deanne M., James N., Rachel O., Jessica R., Carol Anne, Kat B., Richard B., Anony M., & Rebecca Z. for the wedding crash course.

[Get it? Instead of 'main course?' Eh? OH C'MON THAT WAS AWESOME.]

*****

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Reader Comments (21)

"Gravity, thou art a cruel mistress"

January 17, 2018 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Too bad! I would otherwise have loved that rainbow cake!

January 17, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

have none of these bakers seen the Baking With Julia episode on PBS where Martha Stewart shows how to avoid cake collapse with plastic drinking straws and bamboo skewers? The episode seems to be repeated every 3 months, so it's difficult to imagine why these continue to happen.

January 17, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterColin

I worked for a bakery in the '80's. We had a "whipped cream frosting " lemon meringue filling wedding cake. Of course, it was to be delivered on what turned out to be the hottest day of the year. Driving to the venue.. AC on Arctic to keep frosting cold.. RAN into the reception room.. stacked cake and RAN out.. I did NOT want to be there when that sucker melted..
Never heard from them and our cakes were ALWAYS delicious but oh man.. I remember that delivery!!

January 17, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersuzie d

I really love how that couple kept their sense of humor. I see many happy years ahead for them. Instead of freaking out, they turned it into an eternal giggle to share with kids and grandkids in the future. Awwwwwwww

January 17, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I love the sense of humor of the photographer who took the photos of the falling process! And of course the couple!

They were all awful......But...
I READ the last one in.....slooow.... mmMO.....tionnnnn......
=^-.-^=

January 17, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

They were a!l awful......But...
I READ the last one in.....slooow.... MO.....tionnnnn......
=^-.-^=

January 17, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Ok, that’s Rainbow Bright cake is totally a wreck, but the greatest theme and beautifully decorated. Except for the, you know, unforgivable stacking issues it’s a winner!

January 17, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

That last cake kinda makes me want to sing Tom Petty's "Free Falling" in the background

January 17, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterteecie

"We just might have a Pisa that we never planned." Best. Lyric. Ever!!!

January 17, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

"I just might have a Pisa that we never planned!" Just spit out my Diet Coke all over the place!

January 17, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGrandmaJudyBeth

How amazing is it that a photographer actually captured the last one on camera

January 17, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCait

Oh my god! That was brillant! Jen you are a genius! Now I habe your version of "Lean on Me" in my head and I can't stop smiling. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

January 17, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBrigham from Germany

How can you stack a cake without support? That's Decorating101! SMH

January 17, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLisa P

Some of those were actually lovely cakes. Except for the whole stacked wrong falling over part. Other than that - nice. Then there are some that falling over would be the best thing to happen to them.

Is there iceberg lettuce "leaves" on cake #5?

January 18, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterpat gann

The photographer on the last one, got a great series of photos, but could have told someone the cake was about to go, thereby saving several hundreds of dollars of cake from hitting the floor...

January 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKyllikki

After a weekend of building AND delivering a "double barrel" (10" + (2)8" + (2) 6" cakes)wedding cake that survived , this is literally the best thing I've seen. Your lyrics are spot-on, thank you thank you thank you

January 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterPaige

Oh man those cakes.. lol the poor brides that saw them probably wanted to chase after the wreckerators. How can they not see that they were going to lean??

January 19, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

That last cake broke my heart. It wasn't a fug wreck. I don't know why no supports were used.

This is the first time In actually felt bad for the brides.

I wonder what the outdoor temps were? My cake making friend now does the big multi tiered cakes on site, because with 90% humidity and 95F outdoor temp, you need to be a damn magician to get the cake there in one piece and not have it melt.

The panel van with the AC on full blast isn't going to hack it.

January 21, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterFordPrefect313

One last thought....

My cake baker friend says some venues charge more to serve a cake supported by straws/skewers etc. She has had brides ask her if their big multi tiered cake will have supports. (yes) *bride pouty face* Can you make it without supports? (hell to the no). Why? Venue charges (X) amount more. Maybe the reason is because instead of having a 17 year old kid slicing up in the back, they have to find an adult with a functioning brain not to serve up cake with a plastic straw in it. I guess.

I don't know if that is reason for these fails, but it brides have asked enough times so it could be a concern.

January 21, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterFordPrefect313

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