Pan-Tastic!
August 24, 2017 *peppy infomercial music*
[yelling in a high-pitched monotone]
HI JOHNNY YATES HERE FOR THE ORIGINAL PAN-TASTIC ALL-IN-ONE CAKE PAN. THE FASTEST, EASIEST, SAFEST WAY TO BAKE AND DECORATE ANY CAKE YOU CAN IMAGINE... GUARANTEED! JUST LOOK AT THESE RESULTS:
;)
AMAZING!
NO MORE DECORATING DISASTERS WITH THE PAN-WOW.
;)
*WAH...waaaah*
[yelling louder]
THE UNIQUE DESIGN OF THE PAN-TASTIC LETS YOU TURN ANY CAKE INTO A WORK OF ART!
;)
YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO THINK ABOUT CAKE DESIGN AGAIN!
Attractive, Well-Dressed Woman: "But how does it work?"
SIMPLE! JUST POUR, BAKE, AND DECORATE!
;)
IT'S THAT EASY!
Slightly Confused, Attractive, Well-Dressed Woman: "But can I use it for the Fourth of July?"
[screaming]
ABSOLUTELY!
;)
THE PAN-TASTIC WORKS FOR ANY OCCASION!
EVEN PEOPLE WHO ARE ALL THUMBS CAN DO IT!
;)
Pouty, Slightly Less Attractive But Still Well-Dressed Woman: "But my husband is left- handed!"
NO PROBLEM! THE PAN-TASTIC IS AMBIDEXTROUS!
;)
FATHER'S DAY WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!
Wide-eyed Woman In A Sweater Vest: "And what about my mom, the proctologist?"
WE'VE GOT HER COVERED, TOO! IN BRIGHT PINK LATEX!
;)
GIVE HER THE FINGER WITH PAN-TASTIC!
REMEMBER, DON'T SETTLE FOR IMITATORS!
;)
GET THE ORIGINAL AND GET MORE BUNNY FOR YOUR MONEY WITH PAN-TASTIC!
;)
THE CAKE SENSATION THAT'S SWEEPING THE NATION!
AND IF YOU ORDER NOW, WE'LL THROW IN THE CAKE-MAGIC ALL-PURPOSE HELMET PAN... ABSOLUTELY FREE!
;)
THAT'S A 600 DOLLAR VALUE! YOURS FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF $19.99!
ORDER NOW!
Thanks to Grahm, Stephanie L., Stephanie, Erin M., Matilda, Scott A., Celeste B., and Sweet for the hand-outs.
*****
Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.
Reader Comments (15)
And I thought yesterday's post was supposed to be pervy. That "$1 Fan" CCC (ptooie!) is one of the creepiest things I've ever seen on Cakewrecks.
"Cookie Barfing Cookie Monster" meme shall henceforth be referenced as CBCM.
(Like an ICBM but, um, messier.)
You could turn it into Oklahomana too! Very useful.
The pink one can double as a giraffe.
Oh, (P)WOW!
((Whispering)): "Frankly, john, (...d'you mind if I call you john?) ...just theoretically, of course. I wouldn't really *call* you, john. (Don't have the number).
Lots of fingers up there, huh? But NONE of the one I'd have expected.
I salute you!
=^~.~^=¿
Reminds me of Carvel and their versatile "Fudgie the Whale" ice cream cake mold that became Santa Claus and many others (sort of) when turned http://nypost.com/2017/03/06/how-fudgie-the-whale-became-a-pop-culture-icon/
Thank you for re-posting this gem from 2012 - it has always been one of my favorites, and brought back fond memories of what to me were the golden days of posts and comments.
Reminds me of the comment from the guy in "Airplane" when he was asked, "What can you do with this?'
"Well, I can make a hat, I can make a broach, I can make a pterodactyl".
The possibilities are endless, sadly.
It could be Idaho, too,
Complete pandemonium.
Well that was one finger I wasn't expecting. Lol I kinda hoped for the middle finger but wreckerators are never that obvious lol.
But what is that shape SUPPOSED to be? I can't even.
It could also be New Hampshire.
If we're talking states, it could almost but not quite be New Hampshire,, too. For a second I thought that was what the first wreckorator was going for.
#1 Mom's cake looks like a pregnant bowling pin.