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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jul042017

Sprinkled With Pride

America!

Here in America...[dramatic pause]...we believe in... patriotism! Integrity! Courage!

We believe that Old Glory should cover not only our hearts...

...but our stomachs as well.

[swelling music]

 

We believe that education and patriotic sprinkles are the bedrock of our society:

But mostly the sprinkles.

[music swelling further]

 

America!

We believe that the size of our cupcakes should not be defined by the size of our cups...

...but by the size of our ovens.

 

We believe that even our bread pudding...

...should be frosted. Patriotically.

 

Here in America, we believe that no cupcake is complete...

...until it is deep-fried.

 

Aw yeeeah.

[music swelling further]

 

America!!

Where even our drizzle is patriotic:

 

And our monkeys...

...wear American kimonos.

Because we believe that monkey cakes wearing American kimonos is what America is all about.

 

America!!!!

[music now fully swollen]

And my friends, let us never forget, when it comes to American pride...

...we know how to rock it.

 

AMERICA!!!!

 

Glynis C., Carol G., Kay S., Jessica T., Cindy, Jessie from Cakespy, Molly M., Elizabeth J., & Brouk, now's the time on Sprockets when we dance. With monkeys. In kimonos. Patriotically.

*****

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Reader Comments (23)

That last one is showing the stages of untreated priapism.
But, you know, patriotically.

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterzeenia

How would they even get the frosting in the deep-fried -
Oh, whatever. But those firework rockets though!

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRune

don't remember this post...i actually did a coffee spit take on the last one. glad we are in the land of the free and not under a dictatorship!

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterharold

Oh my!

I was almost expecting that last cake, but wasn't sure what I would see after all that swelling. I'm not sure if I'm disappointed that I guessed correctly or, er, satisfied.

Happy Independence Day to my friends in the SUA!!!! :-)

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterbelphebe

Omg that last cake is decorated with a representation of the character of most of our politicians!!! Sorry, its just so true, its funny!!! Welcome to capitol hill, where we are sure to screw you. Look how well equipped we are! Bwahahaha

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFLKathy

Ermagerd. My teeth hurt.

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAudrey

Bahahahaha

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

My birthday is today, and this explains perfectly why I always make my own cake.

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

Deep fried cupcakes?? That's sounds bleeping amazing!!

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

S U A!! S U A!! S U A!!

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAl the K

That garish kimono can't hide the monkey's tiny hands.

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterThatbirdisaliar

Are the patriotic bread puddings supposed to be shaped like stars or donkeys?

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

Hilarious, as always! Penis firecrackers! Now that's American! You betcha!
MaryO1230

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

There's a smurf hidden in the last cake, can you find it?

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJenah

I'm not even American, but by the time I got to that last cake, I felt the urge to wrap myself in red white and blue fondant and sing 'The Star Spangled Wanger'. Patriotically, of course.

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterdr handle

"Music now fully swollen." - *giggle*, *snort*

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

That second-to-last one isn't a monkey. It's the rare North American Five Toed Pig-Mouse. Wearing a patriotic Pareo. So there.

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Oh the pocket rockets are making me giggle.

July 4, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterhotclaws

Now they even wreck donuts. The wreckerators are branching out and now attacking our poor harmless donuts.. they must be stopped lol.

July 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I can't believe that someone actually had a sign made reading 'Patriotic drizzle'.

July 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

The last cake reminds me of a quote from the late Tommy Newsom, saxophonist with Doc Severinsen's orchestra on the Late Show with Johnny Carson. When asked by Carson, "Tommy, how are you going to spend the 4'th?" Newsom replied coldly, "I'm go to go outside, drop my pants, and fire a rocket." Indeed, Tommy... You would have appreciated the final cake.

July 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBill C

Naturally, the doughnut is celebrating the 90th anniversary of the SUA, the Slovenian Union of America (slovenianunion.org) and the sprinkles are to commemorate the White, Blue, and Red of the Slovenian Flag. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_of_Slovenia Or, this post is just a little late to celebrate the Slovenian Independence Day, which happened on June 25th.

Or the baker could have just been awkwardly trying to put "USA" on the doughnut.

July 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAllegra

I'm Patriotically excited by the last cake...cause 'Murica!!

July 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRuthie

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