Flower Power
July 12, 2017 When it comes to wedding cakes, there's a right amount of flowers...
;)
[Note: this is not the right amount]
...and a WRONG amount of flowers:
;)
If you listen verrry closely, you can actually hear the cake screaming.
Bakers know a hefty blanket of fake blooms can cover a multitude of cakey sins:
;)
...including the fact that the groom forgot to pick up the cake.
[Fun fact: this was actually the mother-of-the-bride's hat.]
However, at some point the flowers and flotsam cross over from "charming camouflage" into "DEAR GOD, WHAT IS THAT THING?"
;)
When bakers play "To The Pain."
Many bakers use silk flowers to avoid the problem of brown droopy blooms on their cakes:
;)
Others use silk flowers to ensure it.
{I'm almost afraid to ask, but why do they even make roses in those colors?}
Just remember: sometimes, for some cakes, there simply aren't enough flowers in the world:
;)
In these instances, I advise a large shrubbery.
And maybe a few more of those Keystone Lights.
Thanks to Roger G., Alison V., Jen, Anony M., Stacey H., & Michelle C. for making all the two-year-old flower girls out there look extra talented today.
*****
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Reader Comments (18)
HEY! Toronto has this gigantic rubber ducky that was towed around the harbour last week. It would be perfect to plop on top of that last mess.
This is definitely an instance where "what they ordered - what they got" would be especially fun.
As if the droopy brownish flowers weren't enough, why on earth is there a Mini Me - like the happy couple would like an additional reminder?
What are those bright blue things on the fourth cake? Easter eggs? Balloons?
Not enough Keystone Light in the world. :D'
Maybe they just plopped the whole darn bouquet on top of these little horrors.
On #2 *heh* where would you cut it, even if you were planning to eat the thing.
Next to the last cake must be from the 70's when avocado green and harvest gold were a thing.
I think those scorch marks on that last one are from when the bride's eyes shot fire upon seeing it, yes?
There's not enough beer in the world to right any of these wrongs.
But the shrubbery smells of cats!
That third one looks like they used leftovers from a mardi hras party and just threw them on the cake!
"Rubber Ducky, you're the one. . . " And now I've got that song stuck in my ear. Thanks!
"...why do they even make roses in those colors?"
They don't. The roses turn those awful shades after sitting in the window at Michael's for three or four years. The layers of collected dust mute the colors even more.
Does anybody else see Audrey Ii in that first one? Little (cake) shop of horrors....
Ya know, plastic flotsam including questionably-colored 'roses' can at least be picked off to get to the cakey bits. I just cant imagine having to pluck/peel off feathers of any kind (let alone what appears to be peacock plumes) and still have any desire to eat the thing. Or even touch it again... *shudder*
I'm pretty sure the Duck Bride just stubbed out her cigar on the cake and tossed it into the beer can. She has an air of "nothing to see here" that makes me nervous.
I love the idea of having a mini version of the cake, perhaps to take on honeymoon with you. Of course, that only works if the cake wasn't a wreck - who wants to be reminded of that?
"We want.....a shrubbery!" *Cue dramatic music*
The idea of eating cake that someone has poked peacock feathers into simply makes me nauseous. I can't imagine what you'd have to do to them to make them sanitary. I don't care if they were purchased at Michaels or plucked right from the peacock's rump- nothing will convince me that feathers and food are a good combo.
I was going to comment that the Sam Adams bottle was the best thing in the 4th pic, but the Keystone can takes the cake....
I definitely do not want moldy roses near my cake. Fake or not those look horrid lol.