Wedding Wrecks, Vol. 379
September 27, 2016 The wrecky forces-that-be have smiled upon us once more, dear minions.
Translation?
I HAVE MORE WEDDING WRECKS.
Here's what Daisy had in mind when she ordered her mini cake and cupcake tower:
;)
But instead...
;)
Oooh, you guys, I feel a bucket list item coming up:
;)
This is it! THIS IS IT.
Ahem hem hem.
Q: What's black-and-white and wrecked all over?
;)
A: KELLY'S WEDDING CAKE.
(Sorry, Kelly.)
And finally, behold the elegant glory of the cake Kassandra ordered for a whopping $750:
;)
Oooh, you've got good taste, Kassandra.
...but terrible luck with bakers:
;)
o.0
Here's how I imagine Kassandra's baker dropped off the cake:
"My work here... IS DONE."
Thanks to brides Daisy E., Kelly J., & Kassandra for reminding us wedding wreckage is serious business.
*****
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Reader Comments (46)
Let's examine these "submissions" carefully. #1 when ordering an elegant well made cake, which bakery should you choose? There's the one around the corner in the strip mall that hosts the Monday Euchre party and Tuesday Sewing meeting, or the one uptown operated by an award winning pastry artist. Hmmmm decisions, decisions.
They did not seriously expect her to pay $750 for THAT?!? o_o
Am I the only person seeing a...lady part....in the last cake's design?
I hope they demanded refunds.
Perfect gifs 😂 though the thought of paying 750 for the last one is a crime😒
gotta love the cup cake tower where they couldn't even fit all of the same color cupcakes onto the same plate...because yeah, these extra blue cup cakes can go here with the red and then with the green. ??? :-/ The other cakes were just clearly NOT in the wreckenator's skill set....I mean the one can't even make a straight cake.
I feel as though I missed my true calling. Even I could have done Kassandra's "cake" for half that...maybe I'm in the wrong business. It's all interpretation, right?
Yep, Kate. I noticed that, too!
No way any of those are professionals. Even Wal-Mart or the local grocery store does a better job. Those are well-meaning, yet woefully misguided friends and family attempting something way out of their league.
Please tell me they took the wreck photos to bring to small claims court. I would hate to think anyone bought and paid for them.
To be fair - the first wreck is only bad due to the way it was set up. It also looks like they might be mini cupcakes instead of standard size, which would fill out the stand better. The mini cake in the wreck actually is frosted better, IMO, than the inspiration. But it could have been much better without the buttercream flowers on the top.
#2 - There are no words. None.
#3 - I certainly hope that the bride did NOT have to pay $750 for that! Truly a wreck!
I like the first cake where even the venue's getting a bit wrecky - I guess they meant 9am not 9a?!
How do the bakers get people to pay for these horrible cakes?
That last one looks like a (very badly done) day of the dead mask. Or a monkey head. Or what Kate said.... o.O
I feel like No. 1 was already a wreck :P At least the "wrecky" version had smooth buttercream! lol
#2 can't even come under the "fondant designs cannot be replicated in buttercream" excuse because it's all fondant. And really really awful.
I hope these brides had quite a bit of champagne before they saw their cakes.
Either that, or a horrified clown face. What a smeary mess.
Blah!
Please tell me the last baker stabbed someone in the eye with a pencil. Might have made the cake look better.
From $ 750.00 to 7.50 !!!!
@Kate Now that you mention it I do kinda see it.
For the first cake, I actually prefer the wreck. Though the spacers are too tall.
#2 please tell me they were drunk when they made that.
#3 I hope she got her money back, plus pain and suffering. I mean I could have done better then that, not much better mind you, for less then 1/10th that price.
I believe that last cake is an Expand-O Cake™. Once made, these cakes are carefully compressed for safe travel and handling between bakery and event. At the affair, you simply pulls the string at the top and the cake expands to its full size and glory. Apparently, someone forgot to do that….
Srsly. When will brides learn? You cannot go to Sam's Cakes and Hauling and get a $750 cake.
Wreck 3 has a vajay-jay on it. What has been seen cannot be unseen.
It's a safe bet that the wreckerator of the "black-and-white" cake is NOT a member of MENSA.
Not to toot my own horn too loudly, but I made my own daughter's wedding cake, and it turned out pretty well. How actual "bakers/bakeries" could produce these atrocities is beyond me. Granted, mine was a labor of love, but still . . . $750.00?!?!?!
I honestly wonder if these brides still have to pay full price. They aren't really getting quite what they ordered. I think a grocery store bakery could ave done a better job on # 3.
I don't think the cupcake tower qualifies as an actual wreck unless there's a problem with the colors. However the table runner is very close to the red cupcake icing. The cupcakes are fine, and the cake is well done. The only true problem here is the display embellishments. Fifteen minutes, some fabric, ribbon, a bit of greenery, lowering the tower, and utilizing the table would transform it from drab to fab. IMO a wreck has to do with the baked goods and is something that can't be fixed unless you pretty much start over.
@Jill: I would think someone stabbed the BAKER, or wreckorator in BOTH eyes... No excuse! They must have wanted the proverbial "champagne wishes and caviar dreams" on a "gingerale and tuna fish" budget! Buyer beware, or be scare(d)! =^>.<^=(HAD to laugh at the ribbon on that first wreck, though....floss and eat at the same time?)
You know I look at these cakes and I get the crazy screwed up cakes from the supermarket bakery. Most of the time they are not trained cake decorators. BUT How in the name of all thats holy does a person who makes wedding cakes for a living in good conscience deliver these cakes? Unless they have a mental deficit they know right well they are not even close to the same thing. As a former Wedding cake designer I would have thrown myself in front of a truck before I delivered a mess like the ones posted. I feel awful for the brides.
$750 for THAT cake is atrocious, but please don't say "Whopping", because $750 for that original design is an absolute steal. Source: I'm a cake artist.
Thanks, Kate, I am NOW!
I was thinking the same thing Rozz. It is sad that she paid anything for that last syeaming pile. But as a professional decorator I would charge more than $750 for the inspiration cake due to the difficulty of the design and the extra time it would take to decorate.
It takes a special type of wreckorator to screw up a cupcake tower....
Most wedding cakes can cost hundreds to thousands of dollars. I wouldn't shell out that much for messes like these!
My 9 yr old son said the last one looks like it has meat on the bottom.
Did Kassandra take the time to look at this so-called baker's portfolio? Kassandra was robbed of $750. Wal-Mart makes better cakes than that hideous piece. I bet you that baker spent less $15 for the ingredients and invested 30 minutes max on making that ugly cake. :)
Please tell me Kassandra got a refund.. or got to kick the wreckerator. The cake she wanted was so gorgeous and what she got would have made me so mad everyone would have run in fear of me if I got that one.
Deborah, the cupcake tower may be fixable (except that the bride wanted PINK & WHITE), but it's still a wreck because that's how it was delivered.
Kassandra's inspiration cake is by http://www.cakewhisperer.ca, in case anyone is in the market!
Just wow. Cupcakes ok, just a horrible spread. But the other 2 cakes, I would have just walked out. Those were just awful, so awful.
I'm with Rozz and Amy cakes. Sorry, but anyone expecting to get that third inspiration cake for $750 has completely unrealistic expectations. If I went to someone who was saying they'd do it for that price I'd run away really fast because I'd *know* a wreck was imminent.
@ Rozz and Amy cakes -- I'm trying to figure out how they got the "rosettes" on the lower tier of the inspiration cake. A tilted cake stand maybe? It's still kind of amazing to me, but I'm trying to add tricks to my repertoire as I am in the position of making wedding cakes for friends and via word-of-mouth from friends.
All -- Please think good thoughts for me in the third week of October (if you think about it). I'm about to make my first wedding cake post-culinary school (and I'm finishing the last course in Baking and Pastry). Funny thing is that I made a lovely 4-tier wedding cake in 1976 and a 3-tier one in 1982, both of which I was proud of. Now that I know more, I realize I probably had no business attempting them ;-). Hopefully, this relatively simple design with crystallized flowers will look lovely.
OK, seeing these I don't feel so bad about how my wedding cake turned out. Had a beautiful, clear photograph of what I wanted, the baker took the picture and also drew a sketch to assure me she could give me what I wanted. What we got wasn't what we paid for though. I tried demanding some of my money back, but after dozens of emails and angry phone calls where I was ignored every time, I finally gave up, although I did leave bad reviews for her on every wedding site that catered to our city.
I think the geometric cake is Kanji for 'Sad Cake, Happy Wedding'. Or perhaps 'Sucks To Be You!'
Hey all! Kassandra here!
I did examine my baker's portfolio and her cakes were truly amazing. I also did not expect the entire "inspiration cake" I wanted my cake much smaller but I did want it to at least LOOK like the inspiration cake.
All in all I paid $300 for the cake. I won a certificate at a charity silent auction. It was SUPPOSED to be valued at $750.
The cakes were still absolutely delicious. And no, since my funds went to a worthy charity, this bride won't be requesting a refund. Lol
It was rather comical, in the end, as the groom and I have a good sense of humor.. I had many guests comment on the cake. Many thought it was an inside joke, because it stood out so much from the rest of the beautiful arrangements. Haha
I REALLY hope the last bride sued the imbecile that tried to force her to pay $750 for that thing.
I do think the first cake is suited to its backdrop. Maybe the baker had its finger on the wedding's pulse.