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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Groom-Shooting-The-Bride Wedding Cake Topper, Because LOVE

It's Love Note Day, minions, a time to jot down all your mushiest thoughts and feelings for the one you try hardest not to fart in front of. Because that's love, b*tches.

You know what's also (apparently) love? Ordering a wedding cake of the groom shooting the bride from a helicopter:

In the groom's defense, it's "only" a tranquilizer gun. Because that makes it all better, amirite, ladies?

Also I guess the groom was/is a vet tech who frequently shoots large game animals with tranquilizer darts from helicopters, and the bride was/is OK with being portrayed as a large game animal who needs to be shot with a tranquilizer dart for her wedding, SO THIS IS TOTES ROMANTIC YOU GUYS. Aw yeah, put back the flowers and stock up on the sedatives! ...only don't because now I'm creeping myself out.


Thanks to Lydia B. who joins me in remembering the good ol' days, back when grooms only shot overly metaphorical animals on their wedding cakes. [wistful sigh] Ahhh, good times. Good times.


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Reader Comments (28)

Okay, are we taking bets on how many days THIS marriage lasts???

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Wow. That's creepier than sleeping baby cakes.

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSappho

I am/was a vet tech & I NEVER shot anything with a tranquilizer dart. EVER. Of course, my specialty is ER work. Perhaps the groom works in a zoo? There are techs who specialize in zoo species, (one of my instructors did),so that's the only plausible scenario I could come up with. Otherwise, there's more to the story.

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

We've seen a cake in which the bride shoots the groom, because it's a "shotgun" wedding. I guess this is equal-opportunity, but the copter makes it seem less...personal.

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Thank you for showing the other side. We've all seen those cake toppers where it's the Bride who's pulling an unwilling Groom, haven't we? "Ooh how FUUUUUUNY!!!"

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Wait, wait, wait. You're trying to tell me we're supposed to *hold* our farts around the one to whom we have pledged eternal love? Nuts. I've had it wrong for nigh on 30 years. Oh well, at least neither of us shot the other with tranquilizer darts. Yet.

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

I guess they wanted to portray that he "caught" her. Which is a romantic sentiment...

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

After reading the back story, I kinda think this is the perfect couple. After all, isn't the perfect pairing someone who wants to do something and another someone who wants to have that done, or at least doesn't mind? (Or someone's; I'm no one's judge. Except that guy who was attracted to his Mustang. I'm totally judging that. He has RELATIONS with a CAR. My Strange Addiction. Look it up; I ain't lyin'.)

It feels like maybe I got off track there toward the end. Anyway, "The search is over, you were with me all the whiiiiiiiile."

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

Sappho - But not quite as creepy as "demon baby inside the womb" cakes.

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Rather like those cake toppers of the bride with a shotgun dragging the dead or drugged groom behind her.

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAwesomeAud

I just...Nope, never mind. Words fail me! :face:palm:

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

Um. Unless there is some really hysterically funny private story that EVERYBODY AT THE WEDDING KNOWS, this is just plain sick.

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSandra

OH MY GOSH. This is officially the worst cake I've ever seen on here. Just so creepy!
You can argue all you want about a " bride pulling a groom to the alter" czcake... but she isn't SHOOTING him!!
Lord, have mercy.

I'm placing my money on this one not lasting!

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNina

I just laughed so hard I scared the cats.

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBaltmom

Oh I am so happy Sunday Sweets was at the bottom of this page and I hadn't seen it yet. My eyes are all better now.

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdbc

This takes the cake.

As in, "Take that gawd awful cake away, like NOW!"

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNanalettie

I bet under 360 days, Shirley.

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

Well, ya know, he could be a vet tech for a fish and game department too. Like when they need to catch a bear.....anyways, a tranquilizer gun is better than lets say....a chainsaw. Anyhoot, I say she's a keeper. Y'all need to lighten up and stop being so negative...

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJ'NaeNae

I actually think this makes a nice change from the sickly sweet stuff usually found on wedding cakes but must say I have never liked the ones where the, usually, groom is obviously unwilling. This groom is obviously sneakier and getting in before his bride can change her mind.
Seriously, I am sure there is a great back story to this that makes it "not creepy" but very appropriate to all the friends and family involved.
Finally - you have it wrong Jen, love is not having to hold your farts in when with the one you love. My husband and I have been letting rip in front of each other for 39 years now. Ahhhh, love :-)

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCaryl

Ewwwkkkaaayyyy :/

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I don't want to bet on the couple's chances for wedded bliss. And if they *do* achieve long-lasting wedded bliss, I don't want to meet either of them. Ever.

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCathy Raymond

I'm a vet tech and wannabe zookeeper who thought this was hilarious, in a twisted way. I'm familiar with remote immobilization, I've taken a course on remote immobilization, I've supervised animals recovering from remote immobilization. I've volunteered at zoos for years. Zookeeps can have an...interesting sense of humor that makes the rest of the world look at us like "WTF?". My mom showed me this and thought I was totally off my nut for not being horrified by it, and I totally understand her reaction. If the groom were not a vet tech who routinely immobilizes wild game, I would, without any hesitation, call this cake topper sick and twisted and misogynistic. Why am I making an exception because he immobilizes wild game? Because it's a "zoo thing". I can't give any better explanation. Well, maybe a little better. Women are an active part of the zoo field, and we carry our own weight--sometimes literally. We haul 75, 100 lbs on a regular basis, we pound fence post holes into the ground, we help cows, sows, dams, queens, bitches, and females by any other name give birth all the time, at all hours. We're out there in all weather, all temperatures, all year round, doing all the same work men are doing, working our asses off right next to them. Women work on shoot teams right next to men. We hold our own and we've shown we're just as capable as men, and, as a result, we are respected. There's sexism and misogyny--I highly doubt there's any field where none exists--but it's lower than other fields. The groom has a twisted sense of humor, no doubt, but I highly doubt his 'bagging' of the bride has any sexist or misogynistic overtones.

I'm going to share this post with zoo groups I belong to on Facebook (via a link) and ask them what they think.

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl H.

Note to prospective newlyweds: Just because someone CAN make you a cake of your own design, doesn't mean that they SHOULD do so.

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDances With Lasagna

Kind of creepy on the eve of Domestic Violence Awareness Month (October).

September 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Oh man the laughing going on right now. Well at least I know he didn't kill the bride which is kinda what I thought when I first looked at it lol.

September 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

For some reason what matters most to me is whether the helicopter is made of cake (or other edible substance)

September 27, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

I'm sorry ... What? If a client came to me with this, I would turn it away on a heartbeat.

September 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSOCE

What on Earth!?

I don't think that marriage is gonna last long. Heck, it's probably already over.

October 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDoodlebug Disnerd

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