You Might Be A Wreckerator If...
September 28, 2016 Bakers, do you worry that you, too, might be a wreckerator?
Well, have no fear, pastry pros! There are plenty of warning signs to look for:
You Might Be A Wreckerator If....
- ...you consider "happy" a four-letter word.
;)
;)
;)
- ...your cakes have more plastic on them than frosting.
- ...when you say, "I could just eat you up!" to a baby, you really mean it.
"It's...looking at me."
"Ugly little spud, isn't it?"
"I think it can hear you, Ray."
- ...cupcake cakes are your "specialty."
- ...your family crest says, "Spell check is for loosers."
- ...you not only know what this is, you think it's well done:
- ...you're frequently asked what time the earthquake hit.
- ...you pride yourself on following customer requests to the letter:
And finally, you might be a wreckerator if...
...you have to ban photography in your bakery to stop your cakes from showing up on Cake Wrecks.
Thanks to Kimber, Amy S., Lori M., Carrie M., Whitney, Mary Rose, Liz, Stephanie B., Lisa R., & JR, who think it'd make more sense to just hire better bakers, but that's why they're not "good" management material.
*****
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Reader Comments (47)
Oh the irony of those beautifully piped, totally recognizable, right-way-up, non-sperm balloons juxtaposed against the writing on that cookie! Maybe the decorator just couldn't handle being asked to make up something funny one more time....
Is it bad I think the last one would be a good one to get someone as a joke?
That poor baby looks as if its neck has been broken! What an awkward position.
Do you think maybe that eighth cake (third from the bottom) could be the Eye of Sauron, just turned the wrong direction?
Is it Friday? I'm having deja vu.
More plastic than icing = not good.
More icing than everything else put together including cake = always good!!!
Is that baby made from a turkey-shaped cake pan?! No wonder it looks so fowl! :-)
I don't know, I think that last one is pretty funny! Looks to me like the baker delivered. :D
Been reading Cake Wrecks too long and have totally been corrupted... look at the baby's bottle. Look again... why is it so phallic?
That's definitely a baby BOY dressed in pink.
... wait for it...
I'm thinking that baby cake was made from a fryer chicken mold!
That's not a baby, that's a mutant turkey with a child's face!!! Oh the huma....turkeyanity....? Or did they use a doll to stuff the bird with? <shudder>
....is the baby sleeping beside a large umm "adult toy"?
@Lady Anne: That's what I thought at first, too. But the two cottonball-y things made me look again, until I thought "Clouds! Oddly placed, but it could still be the Eye." But then I saw the blue wave-y things & couldn't resolve that with Mordor (the land of fire) at all. The more I looked at this "design", the more confused I got. Do you think it's some sort of Baker's Revenge, the "This Looks Familiar, But Will Preoccupy You All Day, Muh-ha-ha" idea?
@Lady Anne: I don't know about "Eye of Sauron", but "Eyesore" works pretty well, for me....
=^-.-^=
Okay, in case no one has mentioned it yet, Did they stick a doll's head and a pink one-sy on a BBQ'd chicken? Or is there a cake pan shaped like a BBQ'd chicken?
It took me a few minutes of staring at the 'thing' next to the baby to realize it was supposed to be a bottle. Did it look like a giant baby-making part to anyone else?
Eye of sauron? Given white things I'm guessing it was supposed to be a hot air balloon?
How is that baby cake a wreck? I actually got chills looking at it! That's the best Halloween cake I've ever seen!
Oh it's not for Halloween? That's a baby shower cake?!? That's f**ked up!
I would soooo do the last one if that's how they spoke to me when asked, "what would you like written on the cake". Does that make me a bad person ? ....anyone.....lol
Why does that baby's body look like a raw chicken? Makes me worry about salmonella.
I'm sorry, but why would they put a vibrator next to the baby? Yeah, you looked right past it. That's no baby bottle.
It's the Eye of Sauron, right?
My eyes! (OO) Have to admit the last one was hilarious.
There's never too much plastic.
SpellCheck, bah! Ain't got time for that.
I was in a favorite Atlanta bakery ordering a large birthday sheet cake and told the ladies I wanted lots and lots of frosting roses in several colors. She turned to another baker and said, "she wants pink & green and all that other s***" on it." We laughed so hard. It's now our catch phrases. :D
Is it just me or does the baby's body look like an uncooked turkey?
Are we not gonna talk about that baby "bottle"? 0.o
I swear they used a turkey cake mold for the body of the baby cake.
That "baby" has the body of a raw roasting chicken with a doll's head stuck on. Also, it is stuck on the wrong end and back-to-front. That may be the pinnacle of creepiness.
Jen from MD: And the writing was so nice, as well!
The Possessed Dead Baby Cake would TOTES have fit into Ghostbusters. Brava, Jen!
Did Daddy get represented next to that baby in pink??
That second one from bottom is clearly a screaming, drowning muppet that is vomiting skittles.
I actually think the clown cake is a work of art.
Okay but seriously, what is that orange cookie cake?? If it's upside down, maybe Cinderella's pumpkin carriage with the sky overhead? If it's right-side up, a beach ball floating in the ocean with clouds overhead? This is going to haunt me all day.
*looks at the baby cake*
Yeah, that...that's no bottle.
That Baby Cake with the vampire/creepy 70s made-for-TV horror eyes along with the amputated p*nis is.just.too.much.wreckorator.for.me. I'm going to lay down now. You can't "unsee" that!
am i the only one that thinks BIDAY is something you find in european bathrooms?
That is one scary clown....cake.
Very funny!
Ugly, baby cake......
OMG -- I am in the land of gaffaws and tears ... beyond excellent!
@ Deb in Atlanta -- Just when I thought it was safe to take a normal breath, I read your post .... back to the guffaws and tears.
Thanks, I needed that!
The bottle, Jen...the bottle!!
ALL babies are creepy. (They crawl... get it?)
Clown cake. *shudder* Can't sleep, clown's gonna eat me.
Baby cake. Urgh, I feel so funky.
Another baby cake set to make me have nightmares and despair that these things keep getting created. Lol why on earth are these a thing??? They shouldn't be man they really shouldn't be.
I think the Eye of Sauron cake is actually supposed to be a beach ball in the water with fluffy white clouds in the sky. But executed as well as if it was actually meant to be the Eye of Sauron.
I love that the baby cake was a double Epcot; both the poultry mold and the bottle generated traffic.
I still don't know what the blue waffle one is supposed to be.
I just...don't understand how the "Happ Birthday" cake happened! (Or should I say, happed?) Like, at least the other 2 misspellings were vaguely phonetic. Does the 3rd Wreckerator wield their icing bag so fast that they actually manage to make typos on a cake?
Is anyone else disturbed that the baby's body looks a LOT like a turkey?