MASS HYSTERIA
July 27, 2016 Based on the wrecks I see each day, I'm starting to think most decorators are completely incapable of making a cake that looks like an animal. Any animal. In fact, I'm not entirely sure any of them have ever actually seen an animal. So as a public service, let's do a little review:
This... is a duck.
;)
This... is not a duck.
;)
[tilting head]
Nope. Not a duck.
This is a baby porcupine:
;)
I'm terrified, yet I would very much like to nuzzle him.
This is a baby Darth Maul:
;)
I'm terrified, yet I would very much like to eat his face.
This is a dog:
;)
You can tell because it looks a lot like a dog.
This... is a lemon... poodle...
;)
OF DOOM!!!
(It's a new breed.)
These are swans:
;)
They're totally necking.
(Hey, Jen! I made a pun!)
These are the fabled Golden Anteaters of Madagascar:
;)
I like to think they just finished slurping a spaghetti noodle.
;)
And this is the crumple-horned snorkack:
;)
"Fabulous, Harry, I love the crumples."
Reader Comments (36)
Hahahahahahaha!!! Yup, those are some awful 'animals' there. Love the mashup, John (thoj).
Something about the last one reminds me of Alf. Just needs a shock of hair...
This is a dog. U .o .o U
This is a duck. 8B
And this is an elephant. B8=====
Oh John (thoj) and Jen, you two made me laugh*snort at work once again. It's a good thing I'm the attorney in charge of involuntarily committing people, or my coworkers might nominate me for that process myself!
I don't know which I like better today. They are all equally wrecktastic! The "duck" will give me nightmares. I'm with @miss paper -- the last one is Alfesque. I want a golden anteater of Madagascar -- and a lemon poodle (of DOOM!).
And that last one is a cupcake "cake", too? Double wrecky!
That elephant went on a heck of a diet plan. Was it Atkins?
I love Baby Darth Maul's little coffee bean... Um... Eyes? Nostrils? Whatever...
I read the comment over the third cake as "lemon PUDDLE of doom". Which may be an even better description of this mess of a cake. From now on, when life goes to crap, I will think of myself as drowning in the Lemon Puddle of Doom.
I thought the last one looks to me like Mr. Snuffalupagus, except for colour.
Bahahahahaha
Well, if there wasn't Aladdin/HP fanfic before this, there is now. Way to go, guys. WHAT HORRORS HAVE YOU UNLEASHED UPON US.
The first baker is obviously a Pokemon fan since they tried to make it look like Ducklett. :-)
Aw c'mon! That last one is/was supposed to be an elephant? No. No way. Back in the day, when mixed tequila and hallucinogens in our bong water, we would not have seen an elephant in that depressing mess.
It takes a lot to make cake unappetizing for me (Lenin and gel uteruses come to mind) but I would NOT want to put a bite of that yech in my mouth. Eww.
Snorting and laughing uncontrollably! OMG! John (thoj) you totally outdid your bad self! Woo Hoo!
However I must say something: The Lemon Poodle of Doom might also be the feared Chernobyl Zombie Dog.. Yeah... fur shure!
What are decorators smoking? Those "swans" look like the instant martians from the Marvin/Bugs Bunny cartoons... http://mediccopcom.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/marvin_martians_instant.jpg
Please don't lump ALL decorators in with these supermarket decorators. "Most decorators" wouldn't allow this kind of crap to leave the back room of a real bakery.
I think my kid just got the last one on Pokemon Go. Gotta catch 'em all!
I just want to know how you knew that very strange snorkack was meant to be an elephant.....
Those are the best anteaters I have ever seen in frosting. Hands down.
In all fairness the first does look somewhat like a Psyduck (it's a Pokemon for those not in the know). :-)
How do you clean chewed-upp sandwich off a laptop keyboard and screen? Because tht's what I spluted over them when I came to the fabled golden anteaters of Madagascar.
Yup, sick Alf, definitely sick Alf.
That "duck" looks a lot like the "baby" from Eraserhead!
OK - ET with a platypus beak was bad enough but that last one.... I keep sitting here twisting my head in different directions trying to make sense of it. All I see is a frothy gray dog bone that's been dropped on the floor a few too many times!
The duck is obviously a witch! Burn her!
Now how can we prove she's made of wood?
I think the "porcupine" cake was intended to be a hedgehog. No nearer the mark, mind you.
Shari: speaking of Eraserhead, I still shudder when I see a hot water bottle swaddled in a blanket.
Okay, now I have to go and start a garage band for the express purpose of naming it Lemon Poodle Of Doom.
Sorry, Jen, you need to file the second one under 'Missed Marks'. That is actually a very well-done "Apple Hedgehog", which is a classic Victorian dessert dish.
See what it is and how to make one here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9xvCuO33Ao
Ahem. That is a TASMANIAN DOUBLE RECURVED crumple-horned snorkack. I'm almost absolutely positive, maybe. Or a horsie.
Humor and education, all in one place! Thanks to nancy1745, it appears I'll be wasting the rest of my evening watching videos about Victorian cooking. Apple Hedgehog, though clever, doesn't seem like it would be very flavorful. Plain sugar syrup for cooking, sugar and egg white frosting. I think I'd add some cinnamon!
That is the best (and the only) crumple-horned snorkack I have ever seen.
Well, duh. The last one is a wrinkled grey lobster.
Sheesh. Haven't you people ever been to the ocean?
Well that elephant sure has a huge trunk. It lost all it's body weight lol. As for the "duck" that thing would give me nightmares for a long time if someone brought that home.
It's a cake doing duck-face for the pic.
Love the "Aladdin" reference at the end.
"Fabulous, Harry, I love the crumples."
Since when do cake ducks fail to put on makeup? -_-