Wrecky Exhibitionists
June 14, 2016 Sometimes I think of wrecks not as really, really bad cakes, but really, really bad art.
And to make them seem more arty (and to amuse myself, because let's be honest, that's a priority) I'll give them hoity-toity art names, like:
"Blanket Of White Silence, Being Loudly Smothered"
;)
Or
"Lobster Steroids."
;)
"Two Young Black Birds Mustache You A Question"
;)
"Ode To An Airbrush Tip That Wasn't Screwed On Tight"
;)
"High Five, Velveeta!"
;)
"An Early Midsummer's Morn Shattered By A Bird Puking"
;)
And lastly:
"Easter Bunny, Deconstructed"
;)
I hope this brings you a whole new appreciation for your local wreckerARTers, minions.
Thanks to Jennifer V., Anne L., Stephanie B., De C., Michael R., Samantha S., & Stephanie G. for helping these wrecks look even more sketchy.
*****
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Reader Comments (52)
Excellent, Jen. My fave was the one about the airbrush tip.
I like the way the first work of art labeled each guest's portion of cake. It does away with all that arguing over who gets an end piece or who gets a flower. Well done, artiste.
Also, I like the little tomalley cupcake next to, yet clearly separate from the lobster representing how, though the lobster is physically strong, he has lost his essence, his soul, indeed, his very liver. It's really quite striking
LobSteroids
My husband said the "Velveeta" cake was an upside down boot. And then began singing, "What's it all aboot, Alfie". I must love him; I haven't killed him.
Ah such arty goodness first thing in the morning -- I feel properly edified!
What the heck is the Velveeta high five one actually supposed to be?! I puzzled over it for quite awhile and, other than a volcano coming out of the ocean, I got nuttin'. What is the Velveeta part?
An Early Midsummer's Morn Shattered by a Bird Puking has made my day. Nuff said.
When you put it that way, I realize that yes, many Wrecks are better than some of the stuff I've seen in modern art museums. Maybe the Wreckorators just need a new job.
Does "Ode To An Airbrush Tip That Wasn't Screwed On Tight" remind anyone else of a cave painting cake gone awry or is it just my anthropology major kicking in?
A critique for the first piece:
While it's difficult to enter into this work because of how the mechanical mark-making of the figurative-narrative line-space matrix spatially undermines the substructure of critical thinking, the internal dynamic chaos brings inherent overspecificity within the realm of discourse.
With regard to the issue of content in "Easter Bunny, Deconstructed", the disjunctive perturbation of the Lagomorpha facture contextualize further exploration of the metaphorical Bugs Bunny resonance.
I think the cookie cake one is just upside down. I think it's supposed to be a glass on a napkin.
The lobster one had a touch of cuteness. But the airbrush one: I'm giggling with visions of out-of-control hoses. . . .
If Jackson Pollock was a cake decorator . . .
I'm also confused by the Velveeta cake. An odd mountain with snow on the bottom, in front of a sunny sky with...orange stars in it? An...axe? A high school graduations cap for a school with orange and blue as their colors?
I need to know!
High Five Velveeta cookie to me looks like an attempt at a Graduation Cap and the ugly fat blue tassel. Velveeta was not the only thing HIGH apparently.
I think the velveeta is an upside down BEER glass.
Ooooh, they did deformed rabbit! That's my favourite!!!
I believe the Velveeta cake is upside down. It's a boot stomping out Velveeta because, well it's not food and SHOULD be stomped out! I think you rushed to judgement on the "air brush cake". Obviously, it is a Picasso of dinosaur bones. It is truly a master work that should be hanging on a wall...or thrown up against one. You decide!
I think the velveta one is a graduation cap. That is my guess, anyway.
I'm so torn on the first one. On one hand, there's a lot of random floatsam and sprinkles. On the other hand, when a customer asks for 22 names on a cake... there's only so much that can be done.
Still trying to figure out velveeta. It looks better upside down, like an empty parfait glass on a table. But that makes about as much sense as velveeta.
@Janna, I agree. My thought was "prehistoric cave dweller painting by someone with no artistic talent". Or one of those people who thinks more is better.
As for the last one, I see an overworked decorator losing it and saying, "You want a rabbit? Well here is your stinkin' rabbit!"
I think the first cake is from an AA or NA type meeting where they celebrate the months and years of sobriety with a cake. Most smaller meetings have a designated baker, amateur, that make these, so results not too professional.
I think the velveeta one is either a volcano or an oddly colored graduation cap. Those are my best guesses. Or maybe the Erlenmeyer flask used in the original research that led to the creation of the velveeta formula!
Ya know if you snuck in and put these cakes in a modern art museum I bet some people would think they were exhibits... :P
I thought the Velveeta one might be related to Diary of a Wimpy Kid and the dreaded "cheese touch".
<slow clap>
Would velveta be a windmill? Well that's what i'm goin' with!
The green cupcake, on its side in with the Lobstinator is blowing my mind! What is it? What does it mean? Is it representative of the youth and ability to scratch his back, that he gave up when he turned to the Roids? Is it accidental art? Like "whoops, didn't see that random green cupcake, and now I've put the lid on, so I guess it has to stay"? Or is it a bonus ugly cupcake that is in there on its side, maybe that's what makes it special for the birthday boy or girl lucky enough to get a Lobster CCC *patooie*?
Never mind the "Cheese" cookie/cake, I must know the inspiration behind the mysterious green cupcake!!!
Ute, I think I love you :)
'Roid Lobster is so happy because he hasn't had the dreaded " my nuts have disappeared!" side effect from using steroids. Yet. Also, he has a cupcake. Since he's finished his competition he can eat the cupcake. Lobsters eat cupcakes, right?
After looking at Loose Nozzle Cake I just want to know what the wreckerator looks like. And the room. And how long it took to clean up. Assuming that they did clean up, that is. *giggles imagining a wrecked wreckerator*
The cupcake with the green icing next to the lobster represents that green intestinal slime that some people claim is the most delicious part of the lobster and the rest of us know is completely disgusting.
Chrmow, the cheese touch was the first thing that popped into my head!
I also think the velveeta one is upside down. Some sort of beverage on napkins or perhaps playing cards. Still pretty wrecky even if that' the case though.
Don't you think Velveeta is the Donald Trump of the pre-packaged cheese-food world?
It's artificial, it's bad for you and it's orange, yet people buy into it. Maybe the Velveeta cake is some sort of campaign cake - Notice the little Trump wigs circling the perimeter.
Baker making Cake #2: Why not Zoidberg?
The pink goo is likely an outtake from the Wizard of Oz... "You cursed brat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful [pink] wickedness? Oooooh, look out! I'm going! Oooooh! Ooooooh!"
The fluffy icing on the rabbit cake actually looks delicious., like seven-minute frosting or one of the meringue frostings.
I'm going to defend the creator of "Blanket of White Silence…" The cake has sharp edges and adequate piping. The only things that make it a wreck are ;the sparkly pompoms in the top corners and that the people ordering it wanted more than 20 names on the top. (I'll assume the same people shoved random candles into it after it was delivered.)
As to the others:
"Lobster Steroids" is a tragic piece, depicting how modern society forces us to conform to an artificial standard of beauty.
I believe the title of the next one should be "Two Leeches Mustache You A Question"
and
"An Early Midsummer's Morn Shattered By A Bird Puking" is actually "An Early Midsummer's Morn Shattered By Jane's Parrot Singing." Her puking is both quieter and more melodic than her singing.
The cookie cake is upside down - it is a glass of beer (that is foaming over) sitting on a napkin!
It's not Velveeta - it's Vogon art.
I agree with Janna (and I'm not an anthropologist.) The first thing I thought of on seeing 'Ode to an Airbrush Tip That Wasn't Screwed on Right' was ancient cave paintings. Maybe the artist was trying to connect with their inner Caveperson and was going on a spiritual hunt for their ancient ancestral totem animal which turned out to be a prehistoric multiple-legged bison-elk-spider-millipede creature which poops in the corner of a cake.
Oh my gosh. Honestly these have made my day lol. The laughter this brings is just terrific. Makes me glad that I no longer buy birthday cakes.. scared of a wreck lol.
All hail Ute!
High five, Ute! How come no one else spotted your Discworld reference?
The loose-tipped air brush was once a cave painting somewhere in France...
Re Blanket of White Silence... It was kind of them to give Great Gma the largest piece.
@Chrmow, brilliant!
@Jane, Bird singing v. puking - I'll take your word for it - auditory vomit.
If you watch Spongebob (I have an 11 year old) there is a character named Larry the Lobster who looks a lot like that cake. Maybe he was the inspiration?
http://www.cartoonbucket.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Smiling-Larry-The-Lobster-fg45620.jpg
Lobster steroids made me laugh out loud!
I think the cheese one is an upside down glass of beer on a napkin
Not really sure why the napkin isn't complete, though.
On the Velveeta one... is that an axe head, and is it indeed cutting the cheese?
NECKTIE! I think the cheese is the collar of a shirt and they don't know what a necktie looks like. Haha