My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Hamilton Gets (Cake) Wrecked

I'm a bit dehydrated after last night's Tony Awards (PS, John, we need more tissues), but it was so worth it. Almost as many laughs as tears, great music, and my newest obsession, Hamilton, swept up 11 awards.

I realize many of you have yet to drink the revolutionary Kool-Aid, though, and are still a little fuzzy on what exactly Hamilton is.

So here to further fuzz it up - and make my fellow Hamiltonians snorfle - are some of the show's top songs... illustrated with wrecky cakes.



My Shot

I don't think he's throwing this one away, you guys.
(Ignore the nipple.)
(It's not that kind of show.)


The Story Of Tonight

Oh, they'll be telling this one, all right.


Right Hand Man

Yeah... that's not the choice I would've gone with.
(Not to point fingers or anything.)



Prediction: they will never be satisfied.


You'll Be Back

"Time will tell. You'll remember that I served you well."


Wait For It



Stay Alive

Just one slice. That would be enough.


Say No To This

"Uh-oh! Time to pay the piper for the pants you unbuckled!"


The World Turned Upside Down:

I see you smiling over there, George.


One Last Time

"We're gonna teach 'em how to say goodbye!"

"... which may take a while."


Best of Wives And Best of Women

She knows who she married: he's out standing in his field.


Thanks to Dana S., Camirae, V.W., Nicole V., Aurora C., Shannan P., Anna C., Kathryn R., Andrea W., Katie M., Kathryn T., & Carrie D. for the excuse to make nerdy Broadway jokes today, because after last weekend, I needed this.

And for my fellow Hamiltonians, a helpful PSA:

Though personally, I don't want to be cured. ;)


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (34)

Thank you. I need to collect myself. I mean, I can't. My favorite thing on my favorite blog. Oh, I... I'll be back in a minute.

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I was younger than you are now
With a pastry bag in my hand
My first cake looked like a massacre
I witnessed the mess firsthand

I made every mistake
I felt the shame rise in me
And even now I lie awake
Knowing Cakey Wrecks has it’s eyes on me
Whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh,

Let me tell you what I wish I’d known
When I was young and dreamed of bakin’
You have no control
You’ll never know what wrecks you’re makin’

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Thanks for this. I moved out of Orlando four years ago but still have plenty of friends there. Sending you and yours good wishes.

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAllyson

I saved every cake that you baked for me
From the moment I saw them
I knew they were wrecks
They sure looked like wrecks
I thought they were wrecks.

Do you know what John and Jen said
When they saw your first cake had arrived?
They said,
Be careful of that one, love
He has no real skill, only drive

Your sloppy work flooded my senses
Your six fingers left me defenseless
You built me palaces out of peni
You wrecked cathedrals
I'm not eating the cakes that you sent me
I'm searching and scanning for spelling
In every line
For some kind of sign
You're work's far from fine

I think they should
Burrrr urrrr urrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I feel completely left out because I know nothing about 'Hamilton'. :(

[Editor's note- Sorry about that, Kim. Jen needed this today. I think she finished this post at 2am this morning. But take it from me, you should really listen to Hamilton. If it takes reading a blog for you to listen to Hamilton, it will have been worth it. :) -john (the hubby of my own Eliza)]

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

The cakes that I saw sent me back to New York
The-e cakes that I saw sent me back to New York
I opened up a bake'ry (inspired awe)
Inspired awe- A. worked next door

Even though we started at the very same time
Alexander's bakery began to climb

How to account for his rise to the top?
Maaan, his frosting ain't glop

(Ten minutes of discussion on Alexander's mind boggling cake decorating skills followed by Hamilton encouraging Burr to support quality control measures for caxe decorators)

Ham: Burr, we studied and practiced 'cause we cared
While other bakers seem to be quite 'awfly' imnpaired
For once in your life, take a stand with pride
I don't understand why you let these wrecks slide

Burr: I'll pipe a black blurr on Tony's chest (wait for it, wait for it)
I'll place pink nipples where they don't go
I'm making my wrecks
Covered with helicopters and tractors
What are they? I just don't know.

(That last part is my favorite 10 seconds of the show and it hurt me to mess with it.)

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight nine
It's the Ten Wreck Commandments

It's the Ten Wreck Commandments

Number One:
The order: Demand satisfaction
If they write it all down there's no need for further action

Number Two:
If they don't, grab a pen
Take a second
Write it down yourself 'case there's a Wreck needing to be reckoned

Number Three:
Look the baker in the face. Negotiate a price, then negotiate a time and place

This is commonplace, when bye-ing a cake
Most get their order and it's fine having no mistakes
If you don't want a wreck that's not right
You might give an IQ test and see if they can write
You pay in advance, you treat him with civility
Don't let him make a wreck and then claim some deniability

Arrive before the baker has time to get high
Pick up day's a day when you don't ask why

Assure your friends and family then reassure all kin
Pray the bake'ry's open and they let you in

He let's you in, (cue the snare drum)
Shot of adrenaline when you face the outcome

Number Eight:
No chance left to negotiate
If you get a wreck, it's your's if it's not so great

Number Nine:
Hope the cake you get is the one you desire
Summon all the courage you require
Then count:

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight nine
Number Ten! Face it

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

My word those cakes are...I cannot believe people paid for this :O did not watch Tony's, but Lin Manuel gave a poignant reference to what happened in Orlando :'(

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

KimS, Listen to John. He's a hero and a scholar.

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I haven't seen Hamilton yet, but I've been bursting into song since I was in musicals in high school. My son does it, too. :-)

Great parodies Su Bee!

Sympathies to Orlando at this sad time...

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

For those not familiar with the awesomeness that is Hamilton, check out the soundtrack asap. This blog post made my day!

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterakathleen

I've got no explanation for the disco dancer looking like he came out of an explosion. And I hope the nipple's an in-joke.

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Thanks, John and SuBee. I'll try and find time to check it out :)

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

Am I the only one who read "Caxe" "Decorator" instead of "cake"?

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKai Lowell

I thought you were going to do something on Florida.

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShay

Count the fingers on that hand.

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermarilyn

Take your time, enjoy and have fun! I'm not a fan of musicals; in fact, the last one I went through was Peter Pan (who was played by Mary Martin)! I'll see you when you get back....and will try to save you some cake! I'm going to hang here, sharing a mug of frosting with Cookie Monster... ("Shove over a little, you big lug...! Wait! Whatta ya MEAN you're driving?! How many have you had already? Oh, boy.... TAXI !!!" )=^-.-^=

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Oh, can I show you what I proudest of
(The Bakery)
I established a fine, cupcake bakery in New York City
(The Bakery)
I help to bake hundreds of cupcakes
I make sure there's no CCCs
In those cakes I see you Jen and John
I see you every time
And when my time is up, have I done enough?
CCCs are scary
Oh, I can't wait to to see them on Wrecks
It's only a matter of time...

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Kai - you are not alone...I guess I need to see/listen to Hamilton, but who can afford tickets?! BTW: we had a "We will miss you" Pat Good luck at XXXX cake today, complete with quote-marks, I am sorry that I didn't get a photo for you...alas. But it made me think of CakeWrecks! Love! #IStandWithOrelando...sad times

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

In a cake that I received from you two weeks ago
I saw quotations in the middle of a phrase
It changed the meaning. It makes no sense now
The spelling’s wrong, too and the writing kind of sways
It says:
My “dearest” Angelica
With quotations ‘round Angelica.
You’ve written
“Happiest” HVD

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

There once was a commenter named SuBee
She could Weird AL a cake wreck in any key
She would parody on sight
Without thought of copyright
And said, 'If you don't like it then sue me!'

I'm so behind the times I'm still singing songs from A Chorus Line. And I very clearly saw 'caxe.'

Love more, hate less, eat more cake. <3 <3 <3

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAdo_Annie

The "caxe decorator" one reminds me of the time I went into a local grocery store advertising for a "cake decorater". I said, "I hope they find one who spells better than the person who wrote that sign."

Maybe "caxe" is a smushing of "cake wrecks"?

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random


Kiss this cake good buy
The sweetness and the sorrow
No one likes a cake with poo
Wreckers don't regret
What they did for cash
What they did for cash

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I actively hate musicals and I love Hamilton so much I spent three straight days just listening to Geoff's King George. Everyone I know adores it.

Give it a try!

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTim

Condolences to your city.

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

I was having a Hamilton-themed day even before I saw this - perfect!

June 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Slapped icing on the cake in seconds flat
Saying, 'I can wreck that, I can wreck that!'

SuBee, you made my day! (Here imagine an icon of a top hat & Cappesios)

June 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAdoAnnie

Oh my gosh the giggles these wrecks gave me. The wreckerators outdid themselves today lol.

June 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I don't know what is funnier- the blog post or the comments. SuBee? You are a genius.

June 14, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterakathleen

SuBee, you are on fire!!!!

Jen, today's post is a wonderful antidote to this weekend's horror. Thanks for the grins.

Sending hugs and love to you and everyone in Orlando!

June 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

I had to stare for a while before I realized the "shot" was not just a stream of vomit coming out of Cookie Puker's mouth. I thought it was bile and marshmallows. Ew.

Hamilton & Cake Wrecks together? The world is now complete!

June 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

You're into Hamilton?! Of COURSE you're into Hamilton! You're already into all the other cool and faboo things that I love, so how could you *not* be into Hamilton? Great job with this post! (And SuBee, you rock!)

June 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

Are those tampons being towed by the tractor?

August 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterB Lynn

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