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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Bakers Make Passes At Dinos With Glasses

Ever wonder what's going on back there in the murky recesses behind the bakery counter?


How 'bout now?


I mean, do you suppose bakers sit around taking bets on who can write the weirdest thing on the stock cakes?

(For the neighbor who won't pick up her dog's poop in your yard? But then, why would you reward that?)


I'm pretty sure bakers are also having competitions to see how much they can get away with before a customer notices and/or complains:

Baker: "And I did it all... with THE SAME PIPING TIP."

Groupie bakers: "OoooOOOOoooooh!"


Then again, maybe some bakers just don't like us.

"Look, you asked for a space cake, I made you a space cake. See the stars? And the planet?

"What, that thing there? That's, uh, a space log. Or an asteroid. Yeah. An assteroid. BAHAHAHAHAAAA! That'll be $36.99 please. Then get out."


And finally, for this one they asked for a dinosaur with glasses.

So the baker drew a dinosaur... with glasses:

Just not together.

Which is a whole NEW level of wrecking that, frankly, makes me thrilled to be alive right now.


Thanks to Lindsay G., Jessica K., Cyrus C., Gail R., & Kay S. for the newest Cake Rex.


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Reader Comments (31)

That 1st CCC (patooie!) cracked me up. My 3 year old has decided that every animal on the planet is going to try and eat him - cows, horses, birds, the dog, etc. - and I heard his voice in my head yelling, "Don't Eat Me!!" and laughing hysterically as he runs away. :)

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

That last cake is so disturbing. What was the baker thinking?? He must have known that the dinosaur couldn't put on his glasses with his tiny, little dino-arms...

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

"Dinosaur With Glasses"...

1) Clearly "with" does not mean what we think it means...

2) Either that, or the bakery hired a failed student of the "Deconstructionist" school of art.

3) OR, maybe the wreckerator is just an idiot.

YOU decide.

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I hope that dog is all icing. It's making my mouth water from here!

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBea

What does the white cake with white icing say? "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISMAY"?

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

At first, I thought the space cake had a slug on it. I live in Seattle, so I guess that's understandable.

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria

Well, it's OB-vious that it's Captain Kirk's Log floating there in space.

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBetty Martin

Cole's cake (#4), I see that as a Wreckorator challenge, going this way.
Bakery Boss: Who want's to do a simple Birthday cake for Cole?"
Wreckarator #1: "I'll do it, Birthday cakes are my forte"
Wreckarator #2: "Oh yeah! You don't know Jack Sh%!#T about decorating cakes"
Wreckarotor #1: "Oh really? I'll SHOW YOU PAL"
VIOLA! Here ya go!
Proving to all he surely does know his Sh*#*T. The End (of cake cravings everywhere, ewwwwe).

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

Well, if they turned those glasses around and put them over the two exclamation points, that would've been awesome.

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDonnaB

@Nancy: I think that's supposed to be "ISAAC."

Before I scrolled down, I was expecting a dinosaur with drinking glasses.

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Poor Cole. He'll carry this black mark through life, always wondering "What did I do wrong? How could I be SO BAD that I got a black, featureless void of a cake for my birthday? What can I do to be a better person?" Perhaps if bakers knew the consequences of their wrecks...

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

The legend on the second cake would make more sense if it had been spelt 'Wuff you'; cutesy but comprehensible.

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBruce

Nancy - I believe it's "Isaac", but the final letter is obscured by the giant blue rose-ish thing.

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Perhaps the baker of the first CCC was not a fan of the movie adaptation of Alice in Wonderland? In protest of the latest Hollywood extravaganza, he produced a parody of a cake (a CCC) with the words "Don't Eat Me" instead of the traditional, elegantly wrapped Wonderland cake that is beautifully decorated with the words "Eat Me"?

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

I am just so glad I'm not Cole's friend, because even if that cake didn't have a "space" turd on it, they still ordered a cake covered in black and red icing! *hurk*

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

Uh no; that's obviously a space pickle

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterrob333

@ BADKarma, "rose-ish" is right. Those are the laziest roses that I've ever seen. Yeah, if I just spin this flower nail around fast enough I can get away with 2 or fewer petals per layer--Nailed it!

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

Man, I really wish the dinosaur was holding teeny tiny martini glasses too. Or maybe they could just be nearby, like the spectacles...

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

I think the dinosaur ate Harry Potter.

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Bhahaha! The baker of the spacecake ate too much of the batter! After this one he probably made some of the unicorncakes from yesterday!

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTala

Assteroid. You slay me.

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnderson8505

Assteroid. *snickers*

I would have said Captain's Log, myself.

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKai Lowell

Are you sure that 'space log' isn't a zucchini??

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterccrow

I did wonder why someone would order a pooping slug cake...

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHelen Kirk

More disturbing than the space slug/poop thing, is the finger marks through the icing trying to smooth it out were there have obviously been several attempts with the writing. Or to cover up whatever produced that thing. Ass-terroid mebbe?

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGrumpyMum

Put an orange skirt on the Dino and have it saying "my glasses, I can't find my glasses!" Velma Dino!

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTrog

@Betty Martin: "Captain's log"..... I know, I'm here late, but I saw that and couldn't let that one get PASSED up without a compliment or two! Good job! I got laughing so hard, my face was flushed! =^-.-^=

"Cake Rex". LOL.

May 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMillieP

Oh man these have made me laugh so hard. Especially the "space" cake with mystery "asteroid" lmao. Oh the laughing going on right now.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Captain's Log!

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNuremon

Ha ha! The baker turned in the client! I love it!

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

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