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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May202016

Friday Favs 5/20/16

A few of my favorite new submissions this week.

 

We do rag on bakers quite a bit over here, so I say, every now and then, why not throw them a bone?

Apparently he's a communal NO I CAN'T SAY IT.

 

That is exactly what the customer asked for, btw, and let me tell you, Bridgett-the-baker was very happy to see this order form:

So thank you, friends of Dick, for making one baker's duty fun again.
Also I just giggled like a 10-year-old through that entire sentence.

 

Here's a multi-eyed blob fish saying "WOW":

Or maaaaybe a melting pink... purse?... saying MOM.

I say we stick with the blobfish.

 

Now it's time for The More You Know! 'Cuz I'm bringing that back, y'all.

Ahem hem hem.

"Bonne féte" is French for "happy birthday."

"Bun Fight" is... not.

 

Speaking of things I kinda sorta know but not really, it looks like Game of Thrones is back on:

Clearly this was made by a baker who knows as much as Jon Snow.

(Right? Does that joke work? Keep it together, Jen, no one can tell you don't watch GoT. You got this. Just smile knowingly and quickly change the subjec...DANGIT I TYPED MY THOUGHTS OUT LOUD AGAIN.)

 

And finally, the silent game of workmanship that just keeps on giving:

MIME CRAFT.

Who knew they constructed their invisible boxes out of actual logs?

 

Thanks to Bridgett B., Anony M., Louise C., Melanie B., & Judi S. for finally finding an age-appropriate wreck for minors.

*****

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Reader Comments (46)

Bun fight! Duck, Louise!

The "Our Dick" cake is very well done. Except for the, erm, inscription, it could be a Sweet!

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

Yes! "Never eat Yellow snow". Got it.
And, never eat black licorice icing that dissolved into barely legible globs in the grass on the last cake either.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

I am more in shock that you don't watch GoT than in these wrecks...

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

Actually, it's bonne fĂȘte. You used the wrong accent. Sorry to be a grammar Nazi.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShadeomatic

Bwah!!! "Bun Fight!!"

I would still like to know if it was a really old lady who ordered the Dick cake, who thought she was just sounding affectionate in a toast-y kind of way, or if the friends and family just had a really good sense of humor.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Love that first one -- it works on different levels. That last one is just sad, sad. Who wants to eat pooh-looking thick frosting? On top of thick green (grass?) frosting. Ick.
Still can't believe you haven't seen GOT. Loved the joke, BTW.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

That last one, that HAD to be intentional....how can they not see poo looking at that?!?!?! That first one made me giggle :D

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I turned the pink/black ccc upside-down, and it almost resembled a fishbowl, with black birds flying inside...and a large, pink cloud behind it....or, someone spilled a bottle of peptoe dismal...and some skinny, starving vultures are swooping in for the leftovers. And then, there were none....*sniff*... MIME CRAFT:> ! I don't want to TALK about it! Anyway, I can't. I left my white gloves at home. =^-.-^=

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I laughed out loud at "Multi-eyed blobfish saying 'Wow'." =-)

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

More like "Minecrap."

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I thought the last one said "MINE CRAPY". :o)

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJan in AZ

Brown frosting? I'm not convinced. Those look more like Tootsie Roll Midgees

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterR3test

Tootsie Roll logs - classic :)

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

The first one is excellent.
What is the second one, really?
I thought the last one said "MINT CRAZY", hence the green icing.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGina

On that last cake they put too many letters in the second word. Also, I don't think the second word is spelled with an "F" and a "T". If y'knowutImean...

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I want a bun fight. :D

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKai Lowell

...Also, assuming we ARE going with "blobfish", that second cake is actually pretty accurate: http://australianmuseum.net.au/image/fathead-psychrolutes-aka-mr-blobby.

Yes, Blobfish actually are a thing. You're welcome.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I think the "Our Dick" cake is very sweet. "Dick" used to be a very popular name a generation ago, I had an Uncle Dick and we never laughed at his name. It's the nickname for Richard.
Go to any site that censors, and you can't write Dick Van Dyke. It's nothing but bad words...except it's not. It's his name and always has been.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBetty Martin

The last one may be an inside joke - some people call dog doo "yard mines".

The last one makes me think of my dogs. We call those logs in the grass, land mines, so the original intention of Mine Craft really works here.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

"Winter Coming"? What in the wide, wide world of sports is that even supposed to be? What's it mean? I'm so confused right now!
Having worked with senior citizens, "our Dick" could very well be a sentiment of multiple (appreciative) women. There's always more women than men so the ladies either get VERY possessive or they learn to share. He's everyone's Dick as long as he breathes.
Mime Craft! Oh. My. Marcel.Marceau! More gratuitous dog logs on grass. WHYYYY!?

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

I showed the last one to my Minecraft-crazy daughter, and she says it's wrong because the cake itself is round & it has round things on it, in a world where everything is built of squares. There are a lot of things wrong with that cake, but, sure, that's a place to start.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

"Bun fight" is New Zealand slang for a social gathering with food - so technically that cake isn't incorrect.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCDM

I thought for a second there that the last one was a badly-done kitty litter cake.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRobert

Mimes are silent.... especially when leaving 'logs' in the woods... or is that ninjas?

The blobfish is actually a lump sucker (which is totally a real thing...) and being such a lump sucker fan I am going to give that one a WAHOO!! LUMP SUCKER CAKE!

PS anyone else wondering if Dick likes bun fights? Curious minds want to know.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

I truly think the Mine Craft cake is the funniest... it REALLY DOES say Mine Craft.

But, the cake is ROUND! LMAO!!!

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMandollyn

Winter IS coming! You don't know nothin'

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

As a long time fan of GRR Martin's books, I am mortally offended (the man only writes one every 5-6 years, so you have to have COMMITMENT to be a fan). It appears that this is a poorly executed Stark Direwolf, but why is it green? WHY?

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

It's very common in England to refer to a relative as "our" somebody. (Meaning, my parents would refer to me as "our Cam".) And Dick is a pretty common name. So, I think the first one is just a well done, affectionate cake. The rest, though... O_O

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCam

Now I just really want to see a bun fight.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Words cannot describe how happy I am that you do not watch GofT. I'm no longer alone! I can point to you with glee!

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJoJo6627

Interestingly, in British English, "a bun fight" is a term for an afternoon reception or tea where everyone dresses in what I'd call (Southern USA) one's Sunday best. http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-bun2.htm

I've heard it in context but had not thought about the term for many years.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTXRed

I'm not sure why one would make a whole cake as an homage to dog "mines," but maybe that's me. As for the "bun fight," while I really did laugh out loud at the "interpretation" of "Bonne Fete," I also found that more civilized buns do not fight, they settle their issues in *competition*: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qM9YWm6T_hc

As for "Our Dick," two things came to mind (well, three, but I'm not going there). Perhaps the "Graeae," the three sisters of mythology, who shared one eye and one tooth among them, had three brothers? Then I remembered that the husband of a former co-worker of mine is named "Richard Seaman." And he goes by "Dick." And he finds it hilarious.

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

So...how many think Louise was supposed to be 'Louis' (phonetically, Lewie)?

May 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBooka

@shadeomatic- Thank goodness it's not just me! I got stuck on that before getting to the cake. Too many years of French school.

May 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

Honestly these keep getting better and better the worse they are lol. Oh the joys of reading this before bed. :D

May 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I totally get the 'our'. Where I live in north east England the term 'our' is used for a relation. So my uncle is 'our Stan'. Your sibling is referred to as 'our kid' or a brother 'our boy', and your significant other is 'our lad/lass'.

So to me 'Our Dick' is a relative called Richard! It makes total sense! Ha ha

May 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

A bun fight is a phrase for a party or celebration in the UK.Spooky huh?

May 21, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterhotclaws

I think the Rainbow cake may have been from a certain former president to a certain former vice president after any number of uh, moments.

May 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

I swear the "Winter Coming" is a relative of Trogdor! And BunFight!! is my new war cry.

May 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterValarie

The mine craft cake (aka Mike crapt in our house) was a cake my mom ordered last year for my two sons birthdays, and we were so amused when it came out of the box! Between the horrible writing and the tootsie roll turd logs it made for much laughter!

May 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKerstin

Mini Crait. Who knew, another euphemism for a little turd.

May 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDana

As various others have pointed out Our name and bun fight are colloquial english terms.

May 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

If the gentleman is 80 years old then "Dick" is probably his name (short for Richard or Richmond) and was very common when he was young.

Dick Van Dyke
Dick Tracy
Tom, Dick & Harry

May 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

@JMixx -- Back in the early 90's, I worked at a hospital whose CEO was named Richard Harder, and he insisted that he always be referred to as Dick Harder (in print and otherwise). He got much joy from it... too much!

May 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCali Kath

I have this great joke about Tom, Dick, and Harry. It goes on for ages, but in short Tom and Harry have size 14 feet, and Dick has size 16. Tom and Harry go out dancing, while Dick has to stay at home because he can't find shoes to fit.

A girl comes up to Tom and Harry and says "don't you have big feet?"

And they reply, "yes, but you should see the size of our Dick's"!

Sorry, but I saw the first cake and the rest was inevitable!

May 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenteriMark

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