Sorry, Betsy

You're a grand old flag,
You're a high flying flag,
And forever in peace pieces may you waaaave.
You're the emblem of
The land I love!
The home of the free and the braaaave!
[crickets]
Happy Flag Week, y'all.
Remember to save room for impaled doggy!
Thanks to Michael H., Emily G., Dawn D., Denise, Alice D., & Chelsea W. for the plethora of patriotic plastic... and the butterfly.
*****
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Reader Comments (37)
AAAAAAH! You KILLED FLUFFY!!!
Another poem from my preschool days:
Teacher:
What is red? What is white?
What is blue? What is striped?
What has many stars? Oh so many stars?
Can you guess what the hell these are?
Children: Cry uncontrollably
Have any of these people ever SEEN an American flag? I'd love to see what they'd do to the Oklahoma state flag.
What The Sam Hill?!?!?
Even the late great John Wayne is rolling in his grave if he saw these unpatriotic cake wreck is!!π°π±π«π©ππ΅πΊπΈπΊπΈπΊπΈπΊπΈπΊπΈ
OK, "the Brave and the Free" guys almost got me caught laughing out loud at work...
Ahh nothing says patriotism like a flag stuck in a pile of poop meant to look like a dog
Impaled Poo Hound! My favorite!
Unbelievable.
I live in Canada and some people around me believe we worship our flag. Yeah.
What in this world is #5 supposed to be?
#6 looks like a number 2. Just sayin.
There's always room for impaled poopy--er, puppy. (He wouldn't have made it anyway; the green diarrhea could have been from ingesting a plastic peace dove...OR, from the aplastic bird flu). I always look here as early as I can, just to start my day off . (I almost wrote "right"-can you imagine?) It's mindblowing how many variables there are regarding the stars vs stripes quotient. Very willy-nilly, hit-or-miss, toss-any-old-jazzamatazz-on-there and hope for a brass band to show up. Only in Awreckica! =^~.~^=
Now I know what to do when my dog does a big shiny poop. Why clean it up when I can stick a flag in it?
What's that you say? That's the dog no the poop?
Huuuuuuuuurp scuse me
Suggestion to all: if you want a decent looking cake, make your own. Because these folks have NO talent.
@Lady Anbe - not many. Even the Texas flag has been given this treatment, and it's one bar each color and ONE star.
Yes, I've seen a two-stared flag before.
Ahhh the dove stuck in the green poop splorp makes me feel SO peacefull! As does the butterfly. Poor impaled Fluffy -- not so much!
P.S. Why, oh WHY did they only put two stars on the one cupcake out of four?! I don't know which is worse -- the missing stars or the white splorps of frosting meant to be stripes.They are so crooked the baker must've been drunk.
Judging by the colour of its poop, the doggie was probably mortally ill already...
Darn it. I was looking forward to what the wreckorators came up with for "Every heart beats true under red, white, and blue"!
The funny thing is that flying an American flag upside-down is a sign that a person needs help. And so do these cakes.
Well, if you've got to make a flag cupcake cake, it's best if you don't try to make the stripes straight. That second one isn't so bad, as far as cupcake cakes go. Still way too much frosting though. I think it's giving me cavities just looking at it. Yecch.
Looks to me like Fido, the Impaled Poo Dog is crying from the pain of being impaled. These people must stop inflicting pain on poor helpless icing poo dogs.
I moustache you why the patriotic cookies have moustaches... Is this a new symbol of freedom??
the second from the bottom looks like they're related to guy fieri.
Well considering we're heading up to Canada for the week of the 4th of July, I got the giggles of the peace dove plopped in a pile of green poo. You see, the resort we stay at sent us a reminder to NOT bring raw chicken or eggs with us due to Avian Flu.
Yes, it's a cake representation of Avian Flu.
Good thing I put my tea down before I got to the last one!
Also, was I the only one to see Bob the Tomato(es) on the fifth one?
upside down lay on = when you're doing a lot at one time and you have a deadline to get them out of lose your job. It happens. I've done producton line cakes and cupcakes by the cases to fill the display, cake case and frezor, It happens 240 cupcakes 239 picks and the supervisor finds that one 6 pack without a pick.
The poor old United States does look terribly sad upside down, like a beached whale.
@Jodi: Totally agree. And "splorps" is my new favorite word!
First, what doggie? And second, I don't think those are crickets.
This has caused me to tilt my head back & forth so much I feel like the RCA dog!
That is some big, green dove poo out of that poor little white dove
Okay, there are little red-faced mustachioed men cup cakes...that I can...erm...
ANYWAY, um...why is there BLUE hamburger on their poor little heads? Are they the latest in hat crazes? Wear your hat made of BLUE ground meat...huuurrrkkk...
Well, at least the singing and the comments were clever...definitely NOT the wreckorators!
If they think the flag is such a grand emblem of the land they love, why are the guys in #5 wearing disguises?
@Brooke, [crickets] refers to silence from the viewing audience β a silence so complete that you can hear the crickets chirping.
The dove stuck in the swirly green poo is a nice touch.
Betsy Ross would be crying seeing these horrible things lol then she would go haunt the wreeckerators. Wow. Honestly wouldn't even bother buying the cakes. Especially the impaled poop dog. Yuck. Scary and hilarious at the same time.
A camouflage star just seems like an oxymoron.
Alice, about your "upside down lay on" comment--I understand the basic comment, but I don't know what you mean by "picks". Please explain (I'm a baking and pastry student, so I probably should know). Thanks!
The nation is clearly in distress and these cakes are messages to space aliens to come and help us.