My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


How To Celebrate National Hermit Week
(by a prefessional hermit)


Step 1) Cancel all your plans


I'm sure you can think of a good excuse.


Step 2) Stock up on essential food items




Step 3) Jazzercise

Just kidding.


Step 4) Raid the toy box and assemble a make-shift homage to your favorite blog:

(What, Hannah, no mohawk?)


Step 5) Stand at the window and wait for the mail to arrive:

Then hide when the postman rings the bell.


Step 6) Spend the rest of the afternoon trying to re-create that thing you saw on Pinterest:

(By Angelica Made Me)


...then give up and go watch Netflix.


Step 7) Realize you should have just started with Netflix to begin with:

Then Netflix for the rest of the week.




Thanks to Stephanie, Netflix, Bryan J., Maddison C., Netflix, Jill, Carly P., Anony M., Netflix, Hannah H., Carissa I., Netflix, Alleissedai, & Kim P. And also Netflix.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (37)

"Hermit Flail"
HA! Love it!
Love the captions -- well done Jen. The wrecks, as always: amusing, gross, *headdesk-worth* and snort-giggle-snicker. Mostly all at the same time.

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I understand hermits were pretty well practiced at flailing.

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

Pssst.... I don't know if maybe it's on purpose, but "prefressional?"

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJoshua

Looks like that Minion on that last cake looks like he was enjoying the banana liqueur a bit too much!😄😄😄😄

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

Sorry, just a follow-up because I transcribed the typo... with a typo. ("prefressional" = "prefessional" = "professional" = brainmelt)

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJoshua

Those poor minion twinkies look like their little minion souls made the cake of orphan souls....

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermiss paper

I've been staring at those minion cupcakes for awhile now and can't quite wrap my head around how they missed that mark so badly. Unless the baker was about 7 years old. That might explain it.

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

The prefessional strikes again! Very nice start to the day! (happy sigh) I love Cake Wrecks!

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

Cake #6. Did they honestly think that no one would notice they ran out of blue icing?

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterVioletRose

Am I the only one who sees "Bananas in Pajamas" instead of Minions in the wrecked Pinterest style cupcakes?

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKA

Okay - the "Made With Orphan Souls" cake actually made me laugh out loud! I'll have to remember that if I ever have an "evil" party!

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAwesomeAud

Was the wreck homage wrecky on purpose? If so, than that is perfect.

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

That PMS cake almost made me lose my breakfast!

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

The person making the Minion cup cakes didn't even try. The eyes look like they're made of smarties in the original, then just traced. A bakery should have to trouble doing that.

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCandice

I may know just the beverage to go with Cake #2: PMS Tea.

Cake #5: Ginger cakes do have souls.

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

Orphan Souls, Bwahhahaha!

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

I love the "made with orphan's souls" Reminds me of the Ven diagram of why I am going to H***... (things I find funny intersected with things you should not joke about)... Thank you for all you do for us :)

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

1.) I sure hope that PMS cake is red velvet. Because.

2.) I'm highly disappointed that the Cocoa cupcake cake is not made entirely with chocolate cupcakes.

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

They did not really try to sell those minion wrecks, did they? I really wouldn't be able to shop there again. How could the baker dare to put them into the case?

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJan

Is there a story behind the orphan souls cake? Did someone order it specifically or did a decorator actually decide to just make that for the day's display case?

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

@Joshua "Prefessional" is an inside joke relating to a misprint on the second Cake Wrecks book, where they wrote "Prefessional Cakes Gone Horribly Wrong" (or something to that effect). ;)

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSusieQ_1994

I'm trying to imagine just how much frosting is piled onto that "Popcorn" cake, and I keep coming up with "gag-inducingly TOO MUCH". Bleh.

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCallista

Me, I'm looking forward to the next Hermits United gathering. You know, when we get together & swap stories about caves. Good fun--for a hermit. No flailing yet--we're a quiet bunch.

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Those aren't "Minions" in the nest-to-last photo (I don't care WHAT they say). Those are "Minimums". You can find them wherever quality workmanship is held to a low standard, workers can't afford to live on what they earn in some places, and the customer gets what he/she pays know, the "real world". Pretty sad, huh? Loooong live CAKE WRECKS!! =^~.~^=

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I really want to know more about how to make cake with orphan souls.

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterErica

"Hermits United. We meet up every 10 years, swap stories about caves. It's good fun. For a Hermit."

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmy G.

Don't worry, KA, I was thinking exactly the same thing. Definitely Bananas in Pajamas. If it wasn't for the "Minions" sign in front of them, I'd have guessed Bananas in Pajamas was what the cake "decorator" was actually going for.

June 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterWhirled One

Wow 1.99 for those minions? Lol now that is terrifying. At least whoever buys it will get a nice twinkie unless of course the evil wreckerators put stale twinkies on them.

June 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Erica, it's a pretty basic recipe, good for any birthday-of-a-disliked-relative or brunch-with-those-jerks situation:

Cake of the Dam*ed
Makes: a mess
Serving Suggestion: In someone else's house

Cake Batter:
2 cups stone-ground Sisyphus flour
1 cup Milk of Human Kindness, soured by cynicism
1 Tablespoon Rising From the Grave (Zombie brand recommended)
1/2 Cup Orphan Souls
3 Bad Eggs (Available in any large organisation, check near the coffee machine)
1 Teaspoon Vampire essence

Whip Orphan Souls with Bad Eggs until yellow and putrescent.
Sift Sisyphus flour and Rising together, then drop firmly on floor to remove any air. Stir roughly into egg mix.
Dribble in soured milk and vampire essence.
Stir, leaving as many lumps as possible.
Drop unevenly into ungreased cupcake trays.
Bake at 2000000 degrees for as long as you can be bothered.
Do not allow to cool, just lever roughly out of the trays and push together on a slab into a blobby circle, then ice as one unit.

Sugar of lead
Potassium Permanganate

Mix thoroughly and slather over cupcakes. Place in a warm, dry location.
Stand well back and enjoy as your guests get along like a house on fire!*

*Sorry, that should read IN a house on fire.

June 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAA

That maybe could be possibly Perry the Platyborg.

June 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterclueless noob

And the PMS cake just HAD to have red flowers on it?!? LOL.....

June 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterK


If I'm all out of Vampire essence (used it all in my Last Hope Flambee yesterday), can I substitute Oil of Income Tax? Or would Tears of Adolescent Dreams be better?

June 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDB

I like the popcorn cake and would totally buy it!

June 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRose

Those are undead minions rising up from the grave.

June 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHK

I love Jazzercise jokes - I've been exercising this way off and on for 20 years. Judi Sheppard Missett collects them, so maybe you could link this over to her...

By the way, Jazzercising for an hour every other day or so will help take off the pounds put on by eating wrecked cakes. Just sayin'

June 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

DB, either would be acceptable, depending on the flavour that most nauseates you. You could also use Strained Lift Muzak.

June 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAA

Is there such a thing as stale Twinkies? Don't they have a half life longer than plutonium?

June 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

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