HERMIT FLAIL!
June 16, 2015 How To Celebrate National Hermit Week
(by a prefessional hermit)
Step 1) Cancel all your plans
;)
I'm sure you can think of a good excuse.
;)
Step 2) Stock up on essential food items
;)
;)
;)
Step 3) Jazzercise
;)
Just kidding.
Step 4) Raid the toy box and assemble a make-shift homage to your favorite blog:
;)
(What, Hannah, no mohawk?)
Step 5) Stand at the window and wait for the mail to arrive:
;)
Then hide when the postman rings the bell.
Step 6) Spend the rest of the afternoon trying to re-create that thing you saw on Pinterest:
;)
(By Angelica Made Me)
;)
...then give up and go watch Netflix.
Step 7) Realize you should have just started with Netflix to begin with:
;)
Then Netflix for the rest of the week.
BECAUSE NETFLIX.
FOREVERRRR.
Thanks to Stephanie, Netflix, Bryan J., Maddison C., Netflix, Jill, Carly P., Anony M., Netflix, Hannah H., Carissa I., Netflix, Alleissedai, & Kim P. And also Netflix.
*****
Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.
Reader Comments (37)
"Hermit Flail"
HA! Love it!
Love the captions -- well done Jen. The wrecks, as always: amusing, gross, *headdesk-worth* and snort-giggle-snicker. Mostly all at the same time.
I understand hermits were pretty well practiced at flailing.
Pssst.... I don't know if maybe it's on purpose, but "prefressional?"
Looks like that Minion on that last cake looks like he was enjoying the banana liqueur a bit too much!😄😄😄😄
Sorry, just a follow-up because I transcribed the typo... with a typo. ("prefressional" = "prefessional" = "professional" = brainmelt)
Those poor minion twinkies look like their little minion souls made the cake of orphan souls....
I've been staring at those minion cupcakes for awhile now and can't quite wrap my head around how they missed that mark so badly. Unless the baker was about 7 years old. That might explain it.
The prefessional strikes again! Very nice start to the day! (happy sigh) I love Cake Wrecks!
Cake #6. Did they honestly think that no one would notice they ran out of blue icing?
Am I the only one who sees "Bananas in Pajamas" instead of Minions in the wrecked Pinterest style cupcakes? http://nickjrcharacters.blogspot.com/2014/08/bananas-in-pajamas-pngs.html
Okay - the "Made With Orphan Souls" cake actually made me laugh out loud! I'll have to remember that if I ever have an "evil" party!
Was the wreck homage wrecky on purpose? If so, than that is perfect.
That PMS cake almost made me lose my breakfast!
The person making the Minion cup cakes didn't even try. The eyes look like they're made of smarties in the original, then just traced. A bakery should have to trouble doing that.
I may know just the beverage to go with Cake #2: PMS Tea.
Cake #5: Ginger cakes do have souls.
Orphan Souls, Bwahhahaha!
I love the "made with orphan's souls" Reminds me of the Ven diagram of why I am going to H***... (things I find funny intersected with things you should not joke about)... Thank you for all you do for us :)
1.) I sure hope that PMS cake is red velvet. Because.
2.) I'm highly disappointed that the Cocoa cupcake cake is not made entirely with chocolate cupcakes.
They did not really try to sell those minion wrecks, did they? I really wouldn't be able to shop there again. How could the baker dare to put them into the case?
Is there a story behind the orphan souls cake? Did someone order it specifically or did a decorator actually decide to just make that for the day's display case?
@Joshua "Prefessional" is an inside joke relating to a misprint on the second Cake Wrecks book, where they wrote "Prefessional Cakes Gone Horribly Wrong" (or something to that effect). ;)
I'm trying to imagine just how much frosting is piled onto that "Popcorn" cake, and I keep coming up with "gag-inducingly TOO MUCH". Bleh.
Me, I'm looking forward to the next Hermits United gathering. You know, when we get together & swap stories about caves. Good fun--for a hermit. No flailing yet--we're a quiet bunch.
Those aren't "Minions" in the nest-to-last photo (I don't care WHAT they say). Those are "Minimums". You can find them wherever quality workmanship is held to a low standard, workers can't afford to live on what they earn in some places, and the customer gets what he/she pays for....you know, the "real world". Pretty sad, huh? Loooong live CAKE WRECKS!! =^~.~^=
I really want to know more about how to make cake with orphan souls.
"Hermits United. We meet up every 10 years, swap stories about caves. It's good fun. For a Hermit."
Don't worry, KA, I was thinking exactly the same thing. Definitely Bananas in Pajamas. If it wasn't for the "Minions" sign in front of them, I'd have guessed Bananas in Pajamas was what the cake "decorator" was actually going for.
Wow 1.99 for those minions? Lol now that is terrifying. At least whoever buys it will get a nice twinkie unless of course the evil wreckerators put stale twinkies on them.
Erica, it's a pretty basic recipe, good for any birthday-of-a-disliked-relative or brunch-with-those-jerks situation:
Cake of the Dam*ed
Makes: a mess
Serving Suggestion: In someone else's house
Cake Batter:
2 cups stone-ground Sisyphus flour
1 cup Milk of Human Kindness, soured by cynicism
1 Tablespoon Rising From the Grave (Zombie brand recommended)
1/2 Cup Orphan Souls
3 Bad Eggs (Available in any large organisation, check near the coffee machine)
1 Teaspoon Vampire essence
Whip Orphan Souls with Bad Eggs until yellow and putrescent.
Sift Sisyphus flour and Rising together, then drop firmly on floor to remove any air. Stir roughly into egg mix.
Dribble in soured milk and vampire essence.
Stir, leaving as many lumps as possible.
Drop unevenly into ungreased cupcake trays.
Bake at 2000000 degrees for as long as you can be bothered.
Do not allow to cool, just lever roughly out of the trays and push together on a slab into a blobby circle, then ice as one unit.
Icing:
Sugar of lead
Glycerin
Potassium Permanganate
Mix thoroughly and slather over cupcakes. Place in a warm, dry location.
Stand well back and enjoy as your guests get along like a house on fire!*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Sorry, that should read IN a house on fire.
That maybe could be possibly Perry the Platyborg.
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/phineasandferb/images/9/9a/Platyborg_fly.PNG/revision/latest?cb=20110720151452
And the PMS cake just HAD to have red flowers on it?!? LOL.....
@AA:
If I'm all out of Vampire essence (used it all in my Last Hope Flambee yesterday), can I substitute Oil of Income Tax? Or would Tears of Adolescent Dreams be better?
I like the popcorn cake and would totally buy it!
Those are undead minions rising up from the grave.
I love Jazzercise jokes - I've been exercising this way off and on for 20 years. Judi Sheppard Missett collects them, so maybe you could link this over to her...
By the way, Jazzercising for an hour every other day or so will help take off the pounds put on by eating wrecked cakes. Just sayin'
DB, either would be acceptable, depending on the flavour that most nauseates you. You could also use Strained Lift Muzak.
Is there such a thing as stale Twinkies? Don't they have a half life longer than plutonium?