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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Feb172015

Sofa King Funny

Happy Fat Tuesday, everybody!

Now, as we all know, there's only ONE traditional Mardi Gras dessert bakers have to make today: the King Cake.

So naturally they're making everything BUT.

They've got Mardi Gras cupcakes:

 

Mardi Gras cookie cakes:

 

Mardi Gras layer cakes:

 

...and Mardi Gras donuts:

 

Heck, they've even got Mardi Gras cinnamon rolls arranged to look like a vaguely unsettling fleur-de-lis:

 

Then a few brave souls decided to tackle the iconic Mardi Gras masquerade mask:

 

Which... did not go well.

 

 

Wow.

 

Seriously, bakers, what gives? All anyone wanted today was a giant dough ring with a bunch of icing and plastic crap on it, like this:

That's not so hard, is it?

 

Ok, now you try.

O.o

On second thought, better stick with the cupcakes.

 

Thanks to Michelle L., Amy C., Sommer, Robbie B., Jessica S., Kemberlee B., Lisa, & Christine L. for showing us what a Queen cake might look like. HEYOOOO.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (53)

On the tenth day of Mardi Gras my baker gave to me
Ten pounds of frosting
Nine masked green aliens
Eight naked babies
Seven yards of beading
Six cups of food dye
Five --------- chicken ---------- meals
Four penile flowers
More plastic babes
Two tasteful masks
And a chance for potential EPCOTs

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

So the package in the first photo has a sticker that says "Rotisserie Chicken". And it's a package of cupcakes. Did the baker start celebrating a little early and couldn't READ the sticker? Too funny!!!

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTNGirl

Ye Gods! Those look more like " Mardi Gross" than Mardi Gras! Especially those mask cakes!

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

Is that brioche or fried dough?

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLSUJacq

I'm enjoying the fact that the Mardi Gras cupcakes in the first picture are proudly labeled as "Deli Rotisserie Chicken." Yum.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Now, who is going to be first to tell me the history behind the king cake, why it's not funny and where I can buy the best one? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?

Having prodded the Epcot bear with a stick, I'm going to sit at the back of the bunker and watch...

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Um, obviously that first picture is of a rotisserie chicken. It says so on the label.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSabrina

I want mine deep fried!

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

My favorite part of this is the label on the first box of cupcakes saying it's a rotisserie chicken.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNewbie

That second mask cake really isn't so bad, even for a cupcakecake. I'd give 'em an A for Attempting it.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterQue Sara Lee

Can we take a moment to appreciate that the first cake is apparently being sold as a rotisserie chicken?

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKay T

Happy Fat Tuesday all. While Carnivale is going on in other parts of the world/ country...in Virginia Beach and other points south (as well as north) we are having a snow day. Seriously, less than a foot of snow and the federal, state and city government offices are 90% closed....I KNOW...they have no way to plow the snow off the road...let's see folks...ever hear of 4 wheel drive? Yeah, even though they "know" about 4 wheel drive here, they don't understand that it's not just so you can get over the speed bumps at your local Food Lion...

Then again, I come from the mountains so I have a bit of a different view on 8" of snow on the ground...like put on your boots and slog through it.

Love the song SuBee, now I'm going to have a xmas earworm for the next few hours...

Stay warm all my Wreckie friends!!!

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

Please pardon this comment on the first one but it is obviously intended for the dieting customer!

Doctor: How did you do this week? Did you succumb to the King Cakes?
Dieter: No, I did not, Doctor! I had rotisserie chicken for dinner!

Hey, does that label say "chicken?"

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAnonynon

That cinnamon roll creation is flipping off all the wreckerators who created these messes.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

How about the fact that the point is to be the one who finds the baby in your piece of cake?!?!? All of these babies are decorations!

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

Okay, so about the chicken label, I shop at a particular grocery store that sells King Cakes outside of my home state of Louisiana (and they're actually really good). Because the cakes are made and displayed in the same area as the deli, they use the deli tags to label ALL of the baked goods (this is the exact tag). It makes me wonder if it isn't so much of a label as it is an advertisement for their chicken. Either way, I agree with everyone that it just looks wrong.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLSUJacq

The second mask is clearly a ninja turtle's Mardi Gras mask.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPing

About the babies being outside of the cakes, there have been lawsuits (or threatened lawsuits) because people have either choked on the baby or bit into the baby, etc. The baby hasn't been put inside the King Cakes by the bakery in years. Most of the people put the babies inside the King Cake once they buy the cake, making the purchaser liable for any possible lawsuits and NOT the bakery. Also, most of the King Cake boxes have "Warning: Choking Hazard" somewhere on the box.

Yes, I know, boring information...

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLSUJacq

As for the babies being outside of the rest of the "pastries", yeah...I got nothing.

(Sorry that I didn't put this all in one post. I'm sorta out of it this morning from depression of missing Mardi Gras...again)

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLSUJacq

Caroline - RANDAZZO'S in Slidell. There now, carry on. You're welcome. 8-)

Laizzez les bon temps roulez!

Heloise

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHeloise

There's an ad for a phone in the right-side margin of today's awfulling--er, offering. Scroll down to the feathered mask (8th photo down) and then slide your eyes over to the right. Behold how the colors in that ad (purple, green, gold) pick up on the colors in the mask. Almost seems deliberate, doesn't it? Looking at cake makes you want to buy a new phone...DOESN'T it? Or, maybe the phone makes you think of how you could have taken your OWN lousy cake photo to send to Wrecks! (Is it live, or is it memorwrecks?) =^-.-^=

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Paczki >>>>> King Cake

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterblue

I'm about as far from the Mardi Gras festivities as I can get while still being in the continental US. I saw King Cakes in the store bakery yesterday.

Would Fat Tuesday be a good day to have a birthday? It's entirely possible we're going to find out!

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Not offended by the title of today's post. In case it comes up.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmy in Nashville

I'm in Michigan where the Fat Tuesday pastry du jour is paczki (pronounced poonch-key). It's basically a worse-for-you filled donut. The pastry is richer and they have more filling than a traditional filled donut. They have about a million calories each. Over the past few years, they have started selling them by the end of January/beginning of February, but they are only supposed to be for Fat Tuesday, hence the super high calorie count.

One year, when I worked as a cake decorator, I dropped a paczki on the ground from about 3 feet up. It made the most satisfying splat I have ever heard.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Aww, what's a King Cake post without a link to that fateful day in 2011? Thanks, Caroline B, for poking the EB!

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Mindy

@Caroline B - I'm glad you asked. The King Cake is an attractive and, in many cases, edible symbol of the holiday season and as such, deserves our love and respect.
King Cakes are oval-shaped to symbolize that the fact that the world is a circle without a beginning and nobody knows where it really ends. A modern interpretation is that the oval represents the driving around that takes place when looking for a parking space so one might park one’s vehicle in order to buy this most enchanting confection. Each King Cake is decorated in the traditional Mardi Gras colors of gold (representing the gold tooth you will need if you find Jesus. More on this later,) purple (representing the toes of those who have ventured out into the cold in order to find said cake,) and green (representing the color of your face once you ingest a piece of this most enchanting of pre-Lenten treats.) A tiny naked baby, representing baby Jesus is hidden inside each King Cake. The lucky reveler who bites into one of these baby Jesuseses, is legally bound to pay the dental bills of last year’s finder of Jesus.

I hope that this informative information will encourage those of you who mock this beautiful and religiously significant symbol of Mardi Gras to learn more about the traditions of this great nation. Your welcome, America.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Ah, bless you @Heloise, but I'm in the UK and we celebrate today as Shrove Tuesday and eat pancakes - not as exciting but still delicious.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Caroline, you asked about the history of the King Cake.

Shrove Tuesday (today) in the last Big Blowout before tomorrow, Ash Wednesday. Historically, people got rid of all the things they weren't supposed to eat during Lent - particularly sweets and fats, which is why pancake dinners and King Cakes are so popular. In theory - strictly in theory - no sweets were to be eaten during the week until Hot Cross Buns on Good Friday. (Every Sunday is a "little Easter" so the rules were relaxed on that day.) Purple and gold are royal colors, but I have no idea where the green fits in, unless it is a sign of Spring, rebirth, and the resurrection. The baby signifies the King of the Jews, and originally was baked inside the cake. The person who found it in their slice was to bake the cake for the following year.

Here endeth today's sermon. (Sorry - occupational hazard of being a Preacher's Kid.)

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I must say those are some smart Mardi Gras babies. I wouldn't want to be stuffed into any of those monstrosities either. Far better to sit on the doughnuts and expose their naughty bits. That way they get all the good throws.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Paczki's are a true gut busting pastry/baked offering to the gods of gluttony. They rock!

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commentergaelowyn

@Jodee: I think a good day to have a birthday is when the baby is good and ready--even if sometimes that's right in the middle of everyone else's NOT being ready! Happy Birthday, new baby-whenever it happens!
---Oh, and @ Amy in Nashville: I'm not offended by the title, either. But about your "In case it comes up"...? That's another thing altogether, and could depend upon how much of the gooey green, yellow, and purple pukeables one actually ingests...

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The last cake is labeled as King Cake. Shouldn't that be Queen Cake?!

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

Funny as hell. But yes, the chicken label is just an advertisement for the chicken.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKat

Heloise
Don't send people to Slidell. Rouses has better anyway. Randazzo's is overrated.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJill

You have never had King Cake, you say? Tastes just like chicken.
:-P

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterfgf

@SueBee Thank you, I'm feeling suitably enlightened now, and very happy you talked about the Jesuses...ses...s.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

I cracked up just reading the post title.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Yeah, I'm just going to have some rotisserie chicken I picked up in the deli for dinner. Got to watch the old weight, you know. (Please pass the milk.)

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Don't know...around here today is Fastnacht Day. For the rest of you, that would be doughnut day (Ok, technically a certain TYPE of doughnuts, but I'm willing to call those a good way to cover your bases

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPennGirl

Why the naked babies?????

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterOcracoke Dreamer

Rachel, queen cake is actually a thing and it's amazing.
Jill, Rouses is pretty good, but I gotta say Antoine's in Gretna is the way to go.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterm0cchi

The naked babies on the Mardi Gras donuts are obviously your fault, since you have made such a fuss about them riding the carrot cake carrots.

February 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLee

That last cake kinda looks like a turkey. I'd rather have that one than the overly frosted and sugared monstrosity above it.

February 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKerrikoala

Bwhahahhaha at the first cake. Or shall I say fake chicken? Lol. Wow. And they aren't even trying to hide the baby anymore. Or even put frosting on a King cake. Scary people lol.

February 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Rouses, Antione's, Randazzo's, Ambrosia...they're all good, but I discovered last week that I can buy a King Cake from GAMBINO'S...IN DALLAS! Like, it was at the store. I didn't have to have it shipped to me.

(Coincidentally, it's the same store that has the chicken labels)

February 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLSUJacq

Seems to me, one of the masquerade mask cakes is actually.... a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, disguised as cake, disguised as a mask.

February 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEzzie B

Proof that everything tastes just like chicken... Sadly, in the UK, we only have Shrove Tuesday & pancakes, no brilliantly decorated (ahem!) cakes. Mardi Gras looks to be much

February 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStiria_the_Fast_One

That's the strangest looking rotisserie chicken I've ever seen in my life (#1) - and what's with all those naked android dolls???

February 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJonesie

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