No No, Thank YOU, Canada
October 12, 2015 WARNING!!!
Facebook nearly shut down our page because the following turkey cake was so offensive. Please, hide your children and make sure any elderly folks are out of the room before proceeding! Because the turkey looks vaguely phallic. I mean sure, there are literally millions of mostly naked pictures on Facebook but we put up a turkey cake, darnit, and that crosses a line!
*sigh*
Today may be Columbus Day here in the U.S., but it's also Canadian Thanksgiving, so....
;)
DRIPPY POO WANG TIME, Y'ALL!
I kid, I kid.
After all, there's so much more to Canada's day of thanks than just drippy poo wangs.
;)
There are also HUUUGE... tracts of pumpkins.
And Turkey Castles!
;)
And... dead... scarecrows?
;)
Whoa. Little dark, there, Canada.
Anyway, I just wanted to say how thankful *I* am for you, Canada, with your sweet people, your incredibly tolerant and forgiving sense of humor, and, of course, that adorable Canadian accent:
;)
Now go gooble 'til ya wooble, you crazy kids.
Thanks to Steve G., Courtney W., Katheleine G., Michelle D., & Kyle S. for bringing their "eh" game.
*****
Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.
Reader Comments (48)
Turkey sentries perch
Watching for hungry Canucks
Please don't kill us. Thanks!
Thank you…I think. (I don't say "gooble", or "eh?!" for that matter.)
No way could that second cake be an accident.
O Canada! Today we sing for you
And turkey-wangs that look like shiny poo
Turkey’s make out well in your glorious land
After Thanksgiving has passed
Sent to live out life in a castle grand
Really what more can they ask
Pumpkins so round, fine, firm and free
O Canada, I send three cheers to thee
O Canada, I hope you for-give me
I'm not getting mad at any American who clearly knows the tune of our national anthem. In fact, I plan to try and convince the family to sing SuBee's version as a special grace around our Thanksgiving dinner table tonight.
Oh wow... that first one is unreal. Who could possibly have thought making a cake look that way was a good idea?
I actually rather like the turkey castle, just for being a different idea. Not especially skilled, tho.
Rx:
Bicillin LA, 1.2 million units, intra-muscular, once
Plus
Ciprofloxacin, 500 mg by mouth, twice daily for 1 week.
That should clear up that drip in no time.
You can't tell me that the decorator of the first cake didn't know exactly what they were doing.
Oh, that first one - yikes! I can't un-see it!
Somehow, I find the Turkey Castle infinitely more amusing than some of the Pink Princess castles that have been posted here. Does that mean I'm weird?
Look closer at the castle. Closer.
Curls of semi-sentient poo is oozing from those globular gourds... curling up to look at us. RUN
The turkeys know. That's why they are up on the pinnacles...
Gooble gobble gooble gobble!
Are any of these cakes actually from Canada? Unfortunately, I think these are probably all American made.
So, the turkey castle? At first glance, I thought the towers were the bodies of the turkeys and the wings were their eyes and that they were wearing bonnets. What is actually going on there, is rather tame in comparison.
I really think the turkey castle needs to be a thing!
Took me a solid minute but I finally figured out the "HUUUGE tracts of land" spam/python reference! Love it
While we're thanking Canada for things, I must thank them for poutine! Who doesn't love French fries, cheese curds and gravy? Congrats, too, to SueBee for the excellent lyrics to the national anthem. We should sing that at the next RedWings/Leafs hockey game.
[Editor's note- Of the many, many reasons I would move to Canada, Poutine it right up there on the list. -john (the lover of poutine)]
It's so ... glisteny. <hurk>
I'm with Persephone, SuBee. :D
That first one looks unbelievably phallic, I can't believe it wasn't intentional...it even has the ridged band of skin near the glans
I'm not saying I'd renounce my U.S. citizenship (yet--there's an election coming...) but, as national anthems go, I have to say I prefer Canada's. First of all, someone had the good sense to choose a tune that even people who *aren't* professionally-trained singers, with a huge vocal range, have a chance of singing. When you consider the lyrics, Canada's anthem speaks of patriotism, loyalty, and protection; in the U.S., we're wavering wildly off-key (or is that just me?) warbling about bombing the bejeepers out of...well, *someone*.. Sometimes I wonder if our anthems affect our sense of our national identity. Fortunately, I'm reasonably certain that cakes have nearly NO effect whatsoever on national identity. Otherwise Canadian citizens might not be so popular for their lovely manners and friendliness.
SuBee wins the internets again followed closely by jackwire. (The song that popped into my head was "Oh, Poo-wang-a! My wrecked infected cake...," but then I couldn't close the deal. Oh well, I may have to work on it.)
That first cake should come with a bottle of penicillin -- the last one too. The infection caused eyes to pop out??? Wrong. Just. So. Wrong.
Happy Thanksgiving to all Canadian cake lovers!
Whoops! My apologies to my Canadian friends and relatives. I need to get the "h" out of there -- it's O Canada!
I will now go hide in the bunker...
I HAVE that castle cake pan, purchased the year my son wanted a knight party! But never did I think of making a turkey castle with it. Our T-day could see a new tradition this year.
We're with Persephone, love the new version of Oh, Canada.
How can anyone NOT see what that first turkey looks like?
"And, Scarecrow, I will miss you most of all." sniff, sniff...
"Gooble, Gooble," from two great Canadian fans!
I'm not Canadian or American but I've always enjoyed the double serve of Drippy poo wangs on Cake Wrecks. Gooble gooble.
Well here come the poo wangs. Lol how I love and loathe this time of year. Did nearly choke on my water at the first one. How on earth can they not know what they are doing? I think they do and enjoy it lol.
I will strive to work the phrase 'drippy poo wang(s)' into as many conversations as possible.
@GranoblasticMan One of us!
@JMixx totally agree! I personally wish we would change our national anthem to America the Beautiful. Not only is it easier (WAY easier) to sing, it's about beauty and love, not blowing stuff up.
But fo sho. "The rockets red glare." Ear-bleeding, every time.
Drippy poo wang time -
Is this what Canucks give thanks
For? New STI?
Pumpkins! Huge pumpkins!
Huge tracts of pumpkins! Give thanks
For Monty Python.
Turkey castle - for
Thanksgiving, or could it be
The new Angry Birds?
Dead scarecrow looks quite
Happy to be dead - I would,
If stuck on that cake.
Last turkey looks so
Wistful. Or maybe scared of
That guy with a knife.
Why the hell do these
Cake wrecks inspire haiku verse?
It's a mystery...
The scarecrow isn't dead. He's just drunk. Note the big smile on his face. He saw the drippy poo wang and went straight for the corn liquor. And can you blame him?
JMixx, actually, we're the ones getting bombed the heck out of by the evil British (Canada is a part of that, though they stomped us flat when we attempted to invade those three times.) The Brits are the the EVIL Empire the poem/song says are heartless tyrants. the other stanzas we don't sing go into this more deeply.
I'm sorry, but, YOU STINK for showing us a photo in the lead that is not yours.
You show us a pretty standard turkey cake with the headline....THEN you get honest and show us the actual cake that had Facebook up in arms. I might have pulled the plug on it too!
You've tried, dishonestly, to spin the situation. You're dishonest. Voting for Trump, right?
Please, don't lie to The People anymore. Do it to what's left of your 'friends' instead.
Good journey.
In defense of the indefensible, have you ever looked at the turkey's neck when you unpack a raw turkey? I think they were going for realism. But I'd still like to unsee it. Gooble, gooble.
Ahhh, a veritable symphony of haiku. We are blessed.
I disappear for awhile and Jen gets banned from Facebook for turkey poo wangs? Nice to see that some things never change!
Jen and John, hang in there, and keep up the great work! What Facebook did is ridiculous. Hopefully, you can get an explanation at some point, though I'm not hopeful.
O, Canada - Now
Your Thanksgiving is complete:
Turkey Castle Cake
It's a turkey cake,
Not a real-life, drippy wang.
Facebook is so weird.
Are you sure it was almost-banned for being vaguely phallic?
Some would say that cake deserves banishment for its sheer ugliness alone.
I shared this just because Facebook is being ridiculous. I've followed your page for years, love you and your posts! Even the drippy ones.
Dan Lewis' sarcastic parody of a comment had me giggling
Jackwire's prescription, though, had me actually LOL, such that my family came to see the fun!
And, most of all, I agree with BK. That drippy poo wang is a pretty good stand in for an actual turkey neck. gooble gooble gooble.
Gooble gooble cake time is the BEST TIME OF THE YEAR.
It never fails to make me laugh. hehe. gooble.
Maybe what should be banned from Facebook are the people whose preoccupation with phallic thoughts is so intense that they can't distinguish between fantasy/symbolism and reality, treating the former as if it were the latter. You'd think all those realistic pregnancy and birthing cakes would be more of an issue, but no. Hm, so maybe it's about some kind of repressed homophobia...
I love the look on the second turkey's face. She's like "Seriously?!" ROFL Good thing I follow rule number one when I read Jen's posts.
So I misread that as "dippity poo wang" at first. This lead my husband and I to write up this terrible filk. You're welcome.
Drippity poo wang, drippity yay
My, oh my, what a wrecktastic day
Plenty of poo wangs, coming my way
Drippity poo wang, drippity yay!
/sorrynotsorry
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *wheeeeeze*
Call the veterinarian, the turkey has the clap! The comments make this even funnier. I need to go take my inhaler now.
Don't make the old folks leave, adults of all ages appreciate a good Poo-wang! *snort* *wheeze*